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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Step brother's daughter's mother is committing food stamp/Medicaid/probably TANF fraud but I can't make myself tell on her

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 62 Replies

My step brother has a daughter with an ex girlfriend. The daughter is five years old. When he found out she was pregnant he tried to marry her and she refused. I'm not exactly sure why but here's what I've been told. Her parents apparently raised her on welfare and she knows nothing different. She didn't want to lose her welfare benefits (she was receiving for her son who is now an adult). My step mom even thinks she got pregnant on purpose once she realized she would lose benefits for her son when he turned 18.

Step brother has apparently secured a lawyer after five years because he is tired of her crap. He pays her child support of $400 under the table (not reported to family services as income). He isn't even recognized on her birth certificate as the father. She is taking the $400 and then asking for more money to pay for clothes, gymnastics and other things. Recently, as I understand it from my step mother, step brother, on the advice of his family and attorney, opened a checking account and started writing her checks for child support (to create a paper trail and save his butt from having to pay back child support once Family Services learns there is a known father). The mother refuses to cash the checks whining that it will create a paper trail. Duh, that's what he wants.

I've known about this the entire time but I'm afraid to tattle on her. The mother is already keeping my niece from her father as a tactic to get him to do everything her way. She could win Mother of the Year. Not!!!!! I'm more afraid of the consequences for my step brother. If Family Services finds out the mother might be even more vendictive and keep his daughter from him completely. At least until a custody arrangement is completed. I assume that is his main goal that and being recognized as her father. The reason he hasn't done this sooner is because of lack of money. I'm still not sure how he is able to do it but his choice to finally pursue this and be recognized as his daughter's father is important to him and to our family. He will have our full support no matter what.

What would you do? Or what do you suggest that I do? Tell or let the state find out through the process of him being established as the father and I assume a child custody case will result. I don't know how far along he is in the process. I don't talk to him directly. I will be laughing hard once she gets caught though. She will probably have to pay back all the benefits she received. She deserves it for what she has done to him and to her daughter.


EDIT: As far as I know there is no doubt that he is the father so unless the state requires it there is no need to do a paternity test. They were living together at the time she got pregnant. And I'm not the only one that knows about this. Our parents know (which is where I'm getting my information), my sisters and step sister (his sister). I'm sure her parents know too.

Although she has been pretty vendictive along the way, I'm sure it has gotten worse since he secured the attorney and has refused to pay her cash for the child support. I actually don't know if he told her that he has gotten an attorney. I don't talk to him much.

Posted by Anonymous on Sep. 11, 2013 at 12:15 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Sep. 12, 2013 at 11:48 PM

No one has any opinion on this? I could really use at least a couple of opinions.

je80ss
by Bronze Member on Sep. 12, 2013 at 11:59 PM
1 mom liked this
I did not even finish reading this. Why would he pay for a child not legally recognized as his? In my state he is not responsible to pay ANYTHING until he and bm sign an acknowledgment of paternity paper (no dna test needed) OR he gets a dna test proving the child is his, gets put on birth certificate and then child support can be established. Any money given to her is just that... a GIFT. He may have a paper trail but without FOC (friend of the court) getting the money from him and sending it to her, its just he said, she said crap. He needs to involve the court system now to stop this nonsense or he will have bigger problems all the way till his child is grown. Also, this paperwork can all be filed without a lawyer to lower the costs.
People who are caught committing fraud can lose their benefits for life and also have to pay back what they were not entitled to, with interest. You should be able to go on the website and make an anonymous tip. They are SUPPOSED to check out each tip.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Sep. 13, 2013 at 12:01 AM
1 mom liked this
She can't get TANF or Medicaid without naming the father. If she is then someone isn't going their job. You can report her without giving your name.

Your step brother needs to take her to court so he can see his child and pay support with proof.

Even though he's writing a check for support, the courts can say that it was all a gift because its not through a court order.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Sep. 13, 2013 at 12:01 AM
2 moms liked this

All it takes for evil to triumph is for good men(women) to do nothing. People frauding the government for PA is what makes it so hard for people who could actually use it correctly(to get back on their own feet) to actually receive any assistance.

theosgirl45
by Platinum Member on Sep. 13, 2013 at 12:02 AM


If you tell them you don't know who the father is they don't say anything.  Sadly I know someone who gets assistance because she doesn't know who the father is.

Quoting Anonymous:

She can't get TANF or Medicaid without naming the father. If she is then someone isn't going their job. You can report her without giving your name.

Your step brother needs to take her to court so he can see his child and pay support with proof.

Even though he's writing a check for support, the courts can say that it was all a gift because its not through a court order.



Anonymous
by Anonymous on Sep. 13, 2013 at 12:02 AM
Come income tax season it will come back to bite them on the butt
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Sep. 13, 2013 at 12:05 AM
Not in every state. I know someone who was raped and didn't know who it was. They were never found. She went through hell to prove that and lost her medicaid until she proved it.

In my state, you don't cooperate with child support you are denied ALL benefits of PA. Very rare cases are the exception.

Quoting theosgirl45:


If you tell them you don't know who the father is they don't say anything.  Sadly I know someone who gets assistance because she doesn't know who the father is.


Quoting Anonymous:

She can't get TANF or Medicaid without naming the father. If she is then someone isn't going their job. You can report her without giving your name.



Your step brother needs to take her to court so he can see his child and pay support with proof.



Even though he's writing a check for support, the courts can say that it was all a gift because its not through a court order.




je80ss
by Bronze Member on Sep. 13, 2013 at 12:05 AM
You can still get benefits without naming a father. Not everyone knows the father...sad though.

Quoting Anonymous:

She can't get TANF or Medicaid without naming the father. If she is then someone isn't going their job. You can report her without giving your name.



Your step brother needs to take her to court so he can see his child and pay support with proof.



Even though he's writing a check for support, the courts can say that it was all a gift because its not through a court order.
theosgirl45
by Platinum Member on Sep. 13, 2013 at 12:06 AM


Wow. That seems extreme.  I live in KY.

Quoting Anonymous:

Not in every state. I know someone who was raped and didn't know who it was. They were never found. She went through hell to prove that and lost her medicaid until she proved it.

In my state, you don't cooperate with child support you are denied ALL benefits of PA. Very rare cases are the exception.

Quoting theosgirl45:


If you tell them you don't know who the father is they don't say anything.  Sadly I know someone who gets assistance because she doesn't know who the father is.


Quoting Anonymous:

She can't get TANF or Medicaid without naming the father. If she is then someone isn't going their job. You can report her without giving your name.



Your step brother needs to take her to court so he can see his child and pay support with proof.



Even though he's writing a check for support, the courts can say that it was all a gift because its not through a court order.






SaratheV
by on Sep. 13, 2013 at 12:07 AM
1 mom liked this
Neither big those require naming in my state. Cash assistance does but that's it.


I suggest he stop paying anything until he gets a DNA test.


Quoting Anonymous:

She can't get TANF or Medicaid without naming the father. If she is then someone isn't going their job. You can report her without giving your name.



Your step brother needs to take her to court so he can see his child and pay support with proof.



Even though he's writing a check for support, the courts can say that it was all a gift because its not through a court order.

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