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Military and police spouses- please be honest

Posted by on Sep. 12, 2013 at 11:04 AM
  • 94 Replies
Are you okay with your husbands working with women? Are you jealous? Do you want to be friends with those women? Do you ever "befriend" your hubby's female co workers just to keep tabs on them? How can his female co workers re assure you if you do have jealousy?


So, I'm a police officer in obviously a male dominated field. My husband and I just transferred to a smaller town and I'm the only female constable. I am friendly to the "spouses" but for the most parts know their husbands better. I feel like at social gatherings the group of wives isn't happy that I socialize more with the guys than with them. But those are my co- workers. Obviously if I'm good friends with a spouse (and I have one of those here) I will talk a lot with them anytime. I try to talk with everyone but often feel like I'm being interrogated by most of the spouses here.

Any pointers??

by on Sep. 12, 2013 at 11:04 AM
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Replies (1-10):
MountieMama
by Gold Member on Sep. 12, 2013 at 11:06 AM
Please no bashing.. Helpful advice
fullxbusymom
by Ruby Member on Sep. 12, 2013 at 11:06 AM
1 mom liked this

Yes, no I don't need to be friends with them.  Sometimes I befriend them and sometime I don't.  No I have no need to keep tabs on my husband. 

Honestly if you don't have trust in a marriage then you really don't have a marriage to begin with.  So if they have issues it is their own issues within their marriage to work out and nothing you can do about it as long as you haven't crossed any line.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Sep. 12, 2013 at 11:08 AM
1 mom liked this
I'm more worried about getting a phone call saying my husband's been shot. I don't care who he works with as long as he doesn't cheat.
MountieMama
by Gold Member on Sep. 12, 2013 at 11:09 AM
Thanks. No lines crossed here! I just hate feeling like I'm the enemy. Or feeling bad if I decline "spouse" activities


Quoting fullxbusymom:

Yes, no I don't need to be friends with them.  Sometimes I befriend them and sometime I don't.  No I have no need to keep tabs on my husband. 

Honestly if you don't have trust in a marriage then you really don't have a marriage to begin with.  So if they have issues it is their own issues within their marriage to work out and nothing you can do about it as long as you haven't crossed any line.


MayBeeIAm
by on Sep. 12, 2013 at 11:10 AM
Don't worry about what they think.

It's their problem, not yours.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Sep. 12, 2013 at 11:10 AM
1 mom liked this

I think this could apply to any job or any relationship. I once had a girl befriend me because her boyfriend was best friends with my boyfriend and hers never told her what he was up to. She called me to ask where they were and what they were doing...so annoying.

lovinmykiddo07
by Ruby Member on Sep. 12, 2013 at 11:10 AM
1 mom liked this

All the women that are in SO's squadron are either married or like brand new, fresh out of high school 18 year olds. Which SO is 30 & looks at them like children. Sometimes I'm jealous that they get to go to cool places together (like seriously, I'd love to go to Guam, Hawaii, Japan, all over Europe) but I'm not worried that anything would happen between him & a female co-worker. 

MountieMama
by Gold Member on Sep. 12, 2013 at 11:10 AM
Yes :(


Quoting Anonymous:

I'm more worried about getting a phone call saying my husband's been shot. I don't care who he works with as long as he doesn't cheat.

BaconQueen
by on Sep. 12, 2013 at 11:11 AM
1 mom liked this

I was in the military myself. I married my spouse who was in the military after I got out. I had no issue with him having female co-workers or even being friends with those co-workers. When I was in I had plenty of male co-workers that were friends and it was strictly that. Then again, I don't have jealousy, self-esteem, or trust issues. If the wives of your co-workers have a problem with you it is because they suffer from those issues. Naturally you will relate to the men more since you are in the same field of work. Just let it roll off your back. It is the men's job to reassure their wives, not yours.

MountieMama
by Gold Member on Sep. 12, 2013 at 11:11 AM
Well I don't to the point where it upsets me. But I do have to live here and see these women at gatherings.


Quoting MayBeeIAm:

Don't worry about what they think.



It's their problem, not yours.

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