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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

My son doesn't want to invite an "annoying" child for his birthday party. WWYD?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 118 Replies

My son and I were reading through a list of his classmates and deciding if they were invited to his party or not.  He is in 1st grade and has already decided that he does NOT want girls at his party.  Okay... we can invite all the boys in your class.

BUT when we got to little George my DS said "NO WAY I DO NOT WANT HIM THERE"  

I said "well son, it will hurt his feelings if he's not invited.  We should send an invite."

Ds said "No, he's loud and doesn't listen and bullys people and gets in to trouble all the time and he annoys me."

I said "Sweetie it's one party and we don't want to be unkind do we?" 

DS said "Mom, I am nice to him every day at school. I do not want him to come to my birthday party, he will hurt my feelings. He always hurts my feelings.  Can I please have one day with my friends without him there?"


I had no idea what to say... told DS we will fence the subject for now, but we have to decide by Friday. 


What on earth would you do?  I absolutely DO NOT want to disinclude this little boy. He THINKS my son is his best friend.  He loves everyone.  But his is a bully. I've seen him steal things from my child in class and break them.  He doesn't listen to me or teachers or his parents and my son is right, he will probably end up hurting his feelings.   But, this is a 6 year old kid...  DS isn't inviting 2 or 3 other boys either because he doesn't know them very well (still very early in the year).   But this particular child adores my son and knows his birthday is coming up because we already had a party for him in class. 


HELP!  What would you do?


EDIT:  I can't believe there are over 100 replies!  I will read and get to them as quickly as I can!  Thank you all for weighing in.  I'll update again when I get through all of the replies!  

Posted by Anonymous on Sep. 12, 2013 at 1:33 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Toxic.Stardust
by on Sep. 12, 2013 at 1:36 PM
6 moms liked this
It's your son's party, let him invite or not invite whoever he wants.

Is there a way to send the invites without him bringing them to school, so the boy won't KNOW he's being excluded?
Aislin
by Platinum Member on Sep. 12, 2013 at 1:36 PM

I invite the entire class so IDK but here's a bump

soccerballetmom
by Member on Sep. 12, 2013 at 1:38 PM

My son was in the same situation, and i told him if he can't invite all the kids then he can't have a party. Two of the kids that bullied him in first grade are now his best friends in second grade. I'm talking inseperable buddies.. I don't know what you want to do, but as is mother you don't want to hurt this kid.. I feel for ya girl!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Sep. 12, 2013 at 1:39 PM
I wouldn't invite him but I also have family members that I won't invite for similar reasons. Hopefully there is someone who can offer a fair solution.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Sep. 12, 2013 at 1:39 PM
9 moms liked this

My child was a bully last year, he wasn't invited to much because of it. Your son shouldn't feel badly about not wanting a jerk at his party. My sons feelings were hurt last year because of it but I sat him down and told him flat out of course they arent going to invite you, you are mean to them everyday for no reason why would they want you there....He got it and started acting right after that, and it was a learning experience for him. it is your sons birthday a day to celebrate the way he wants to let him invite who he wants.

peanutsmommy1
by Ruby Member on Sep. 12, 2013 at 1:40 PM
2 moms liked this

don't invite him

I don't make my DS pretend to be friends with people he doesn't like

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Sep. 12, 2013 at 1:40 PM
2 moms liked this
Don't invite him if he doesn't want. But I would send the invites through snail mail or email and tell DS not to go around gloating about his party.
brysonsmommy_10
by Silver Member on Sep. 12, 2013 at 1:40 PM

 I wouldn't make him invite the boy to his party.  Maybe he could just pick 3 or 4 of his best friends and do a party like that instead of a big party.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Sep. 12, 2013 at 1:40 PM


Yeah, I have already talked to the teacher about that. I told her we're not inviting girls, so if we could just be descrete about handing out invites I would really appreciate it.  She said we could work something out.

But... he asks my son every day what day his party is on, and every day my son tells him it's on sep 20th.  My son said he tried not answering when he asked but he pesters him.  And, he doesn't want to tell any lies. 

Quoting Toxic.Stardust:

It's your son's party, let him invite or not invite whoever he wants.

Is there a way to send the invites without him bringing them to school, so the boy won't KNOW he's being excluded?



anyotherday
by Ruby Member on Sep. 12, 2013 at 1:42 PM
4 moms liked this

dont invite him, but also do not hand the invites out at school

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