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SO's bro cheating on my friend!WWYD *UPDATE*

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My SO's bro lives with us. He has been dating my childhood friend for 11 years. He is cheating on her right now. My SO told me to stay out of it. I really want to tell her. SO told him that he needs to break up with her if he wants to continue his new relationship. Of course, the pussy wont tell her. He claims he thinks his gf is cheating on him which is complete bullshit. He's just too much of a pansy to tell her that hes done with her. Well my SO and I talked about this and we agreed we will not allow this new girl on our property. We dont want any drama. I have nothing against her, she probably doesnt know that he has a gf. I really dont need to see that shit, i mean its bad enough that im not telling my friend. So No Balls decides to bring new girlfriend over. As polite as i could be, i yelled across the yard " shes not welcome here". Of course he left but i warned my SO that his bro is probably pissed at me.

I know im being a shitty friend so lets just get that out of the way.

What would you do?


So after reading all the replies, i decided to tell SO that i was going to tell my friend. I said that we are just as guilty as his brother is if we dont tell her. And that Im sure he'd want to be told if his bro found out i was cheating. He agreed and he said we should tell her. Well about 20 min after we talked, his bro came home. He had been avoiding me. I go outside with the kids and he walks up to me and said that we were right, that he needed to tell my friend that is was over. I said that i was glad he'd do it because she needs to hear it from him, not me. So he said he would do it sunday(we spoke on sat). I warned him that if he didnt do it, i would.

So it sunday and i get a call from his friend and he informs me that No Balls in in jail. He and his buddy decided to go camping,he got drunk and ended up ditching his friend. Have no clue what happened to get his ass landed in jail but there he sits.
How convenient, he had given himself a timeline and failed miserably. That could have been his plan in the first place. Maybe land myself in jail so i dont have to break up with her. . So i called my friend and gave her the news. Of course she is upset. Apparently she has been iffy about their relationship lately and this is giving her the push she needed to get out. We remain friends:)
by on Sep. 12, 2013 at 8:54 PM
Replies (11-20):
by Anonymous 6 on Sep. 12, 2013 at 9:53 PM

I don't agree with cheating at ALL and I believe in being the kind of friend I would like to have so I would tell my friend. Especially an 11 year friendship. DH would have to get over it in this case, not every decision I make is up to my husband, especially when it comes to my close friendships. I do what I feel is right.

by Anonymous 7 on Sep. 12, 2013 at 9:56 PM

You need to think about what is going to happen if she finds out and if she finds out that you knew and didn't tell her. Will she think you were her real friend? Would you want to know if it was your SO? Good luck.

by Anonymous 8 on Sep. 12, 2013 at 10:02 PM

personally i would probably kindly tell this women to her face that i have nothing against her but that she was not welcome at my home until the other relationship is ended because you dont need that drama in your home. I would also tell him he has a certain amount of time to tell her gf whats up and break up or you will be telling her.

by on Sep. 12, 2013 at 10:05 PM
1 mom liked this
Tell your friend. Tell your SO to fucking kick rocks if he is friends with and will protect a cheater!
by Bronze Member on Sep. 12, 2013 at 10:06 PM
Why do you feel the need to put a time limit on a relationship?
Ive been with my SO for almost 7 years now and not getting married anytime soon.

Anyways, those two cant get married because he is still legally married to another chick. He claims she wouldnt sign divorce papers and so here they are, still married. My friend obviously didnt care about enough maybe she doesnt want to marry him, IDK.
Just because he cheated now doesnt mean the whole relationship was shitty. They used to live together but it wasnt working out( they should have split then but whatever, *sighs*)

This guys isnt the greatest IMO but i dont what she sees in him and it just makes me want to tell

her so she can find someone better.

She's only 26, shes has plenty of time to find a new man. Thanks for your opinion.

Quoting JanineDeer:

well................not many like to hear my opinion on long-term "SO" or my BF.... if the guy has not asked you to MARRY HIM after a year and a half.. just WHY is the girl still there?????????

SHE put herself into this situation by lying to herself for ELEVEN YEARS that he is a great guy and OH i LOVE him! whatever.

11 years and no marriage- he's a user.   She was a convenience to him. She allowed it. 

Now she will have to live with the consequences.   I hope she can pick up and leave.  You should tell her why prolong it for years more?  Youth is VERY fleeting.

by Bronze Member on Sep. 12, 2013 at 10:11 PM
Yeah I know what I did was wrong. But i just found out from a mutual friend this girl is married too. So she is not innocent.

I could have handled it alot better but we told him that we didnt want her here. Dont need any drama at our house.

Quoting lucky2Beeme:

OMG you did NOT . Grow up mama. She hasnt done anything wrong. Now you for no reason made her unwelcome and hurt her !!! Way to go  SMFH

by Bronze Member on Sep. 12, 2013 at 10:14 PM
Unfortunately it is his brother that is cheating. Definitely cant tell him to drop his bro because his bro has no balls. It probably wouldnt be so bad if his brother didnt live with us so im thinking my SO doesnt want friction between his bro and I.

Quoting newmom3012:

Tell your friend. Tell your SO to fucking kick rocks if he is friends with and will protect a cheater!

by Anonymous 9 on Sep. 12, 2013 at 10:18 PM
I would say MYOB, but...he's bringing the shit to your home. That's a tough spot to be in.
by Ruby Member on Sep. 12, 2013 at 10:43 PM
1 mom liked this
I can't get past dating for 11 years. He obviously not committed. Your friend is going to be pissed when she finds out you knew and didn't tell her.
by on Sep. 12, 2013 at 11:06 PM
If she is really your friend, you need to tell her. Especially since you've been friends for so long.
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