I lived in the foster system from age 13 until age. 18. During that time my elderly grandma's health declined.
When I turned 18 she was 93 and had severe dementia, Alzheimer's, and heart problems.
I decided to put her in a nursing home. Not because I didnt want to be bothered, or because I wanted to put me first. I was still a kid and knew I couldn't possibly give her the care she needed nor deserved. I decided to work/go to school. I paid her bills and my own while trying to get an education.
When my grandma died (after I graduated) she said she was proud that I was the first family member to get a college degree. She also left me with over 80k in drs and other bills.
I am still trying to pay them off.
I resent people for assuming I made the choice I did because I was 18 and thinking of ME. I was being realistic.
" Good for you being able to put yourself first." "It's nice you can still think of yourself after all you've been through." And, "if I was 18 I wouldn't want to be saddled at home taking care of an old lady either." Were 3 of the worst.
Guess how many drinks I've had in my life? Cigarettes? Drugs? Parties I've been to? Zero. I sacrificed my "youth" and "wild days" to provide my Grandma the best I could do for her.