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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I'm thinking about deleting my best friend

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
In high school I was friend with this girl. We will call her L. She was my best friend we did everything together. When I got pregnant at 16 she was there for me through the whole thing. Then when I made the stupidest mistake of being with my babys bio father again She told me she couldn't be friends with me. Onces I realized it was a mistake and I broke up with him for the last time wL and I became friends again. When I moved L would come visit me and when she went to the military shed write me letters. I'd try to write her back but sometimes I'd just be soooo busy I'd forget. ( I was a single mom and she understood) after I met dh she came to visit me once and after being here a week she got on my nerves. She got pissed off at the zoo because dh was feeding the ducks bread and my kids thought it was funny. She thought it was imature. I personally just thought she was here too long and that's why. I told her my dh proposed to me about 3 months later. She was so happy. I asked her to be my maid of honor and she agreed at first but then as time went on I could tell that it wasn't her priority to be in my wedding and she adventually declined even coming. About 2 yrs ago she got married to a man out of the blue. I told her congrats. I wasn't upset about not being invited because they eloped. When she became pregnant I got an invitation to her baby shower and I figured I'd mail her something because my dhs uncle passed away that weekend and I couldn't go. She understood. I mail the gift and she sent me a thank you. We still talked and things were fine. About a yr ago I was in a really bad mood like nothing was going my way so I text her and I got no reply. This text was a cry for help and u could tell I was really unstable. She didn't respond. I adventually got over it with the help of another friend and dh. A couple of weeks ago I was going through old fb messages and hers poped open. I took it as a sign to email her. Just something nice no reply but all this time she's been liking all my stuff I post. Well yesterday I noticed she was posting about a wrap for a new baby. I posted on her page are u expecting? Congrats no reply but she continues to like everything I post. I'm getting annoyed I feel like we are in high school and I'm not sure what's up worth her. Maybe it has something to do with dh adopting my oldest dd. I don't know why but that's what I'm thinking cause hasn't talked to me really sence that day. I'm not sure I don't want to delete her cuz we were best friends I just want to know what the hell did I do!
Posted by Anonymous on Sep. 15, 2013 at 10:27 AM
Replies (91-100):
SissyAnn141
by Gold Member on Sep. 16, 2013 at 1:20 AM

 

Quoting Liastele:

In all fairness, it took me forever to understand to check my notifications on Facebook. I missed a ton of wall posts and comments because I simply didn't "get" it. Of course, it sounds like I'm old enough to be your mother so that could be part of the problem.

Instead of getting upset, why don't you try an old fashion method of communication like a phone call? There will be less miscommunications if you simply try speaking to each other. Don't let technology get in the way. 

 I agree, in all fairness, see that she gets a warning ......

" Look, I have tryed, why are you not mailing me ? "

CorisMom
by on Sep. 16, 2013 at 1:50 AM
I would be upfront with her and let her know exactly how I felt. If I didn't get any response, I'd get over it and find a new best friend. If she doesn't value your friendship, why waste another minute worrying about her? Besides, if she is upset with you syncs won't talk to you about it, there is nothing you can do. You can't fix something if you don't know what the problem is. If she won't discuss it, she's really already made the choice for you and you can find a friend that is interested in you, happy for you, and respects your choices without judging. What you decide for your child and family is really none of her concern. I'd stop trying. She'll come around and if she doesn't soon, she'll have lost a good friend. Later, when she wants to talk, you'll just have to decide if she is worth the hassle or not. Her loss, not yours!
Cbreland07
by Ruby Member on Sep. 16, 2013 at 3:26 AM
You talk to her like and adult would
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Sep. 16, 2013 at 4:25 AM
One thing that sticks out in this to me is where you talk about her writing to you while in the military. I've been a single mom, so I get that it is exhausting and time consuming. But so is basic training. My son would write home saying mom I'm sorry I don't have time to answer all your letters, but please keep writing. The support from home is what keeps them going. She probably felt let down in a big way when she needed you after she'd stuck by you
I would call and apologize for not always being there, but let her know you value her friendship. .
TrinnDee
by on Sep. 16, 2013 at 8:38 AM

It sounds like she keeps you on her page so that she can be in the know regarding you but then you have no idea about what's going on with her... Not all your friends have to be on your fb page and if you've drifted apart, why give them access to your life? Delete her, maybe then she'll respond to your emails and text messages. Also, if she is upset about your dh adopting your oldest child, forget the friendship! that's none of her d'amn business anyway!

carterscutie85
by Queen Bee on Sep. 16, 2013 at 8:40 AM

Eventually.

No ADVentually.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Sep. 16, 2013 at 9:09 AM

Ignore her for 6 months. If you don't hear from her in that time, let it go. People do outgrow friendships.

JLo1486
by Gold Member on Sep. 16, 2013 at 9:26 AM
For the love of God that was the worst advice ever. Do NOT do that. At all! That is facebook 101. People HATE when people do this. It's beyond immature. Just freakin call her. Shit.

Quoting Anonymous:

This the funniest damn shit I ever read. I'm too high for this lmao




Quoting Anonymous:

Ive had a similar situation going on.it is hurtful and, like u, I want answers!!!!


I wish I could practice what I preach.


Lets think of this:::: okay-lets say u just straight out ask her--(im like u-I prefer fb and text.not calls) what do u really think shes gonna say?? I can guess!!! "Oh ive been so busy.bla bla.i miss u too! Etc etc"--or, another no reply. Then ive also tried something light but hinting-like a text or fb pm saying "hey stranger!!! We have to catch up, I miss u!!!" Or "we gotta stop being strangers! I really need to touch base with u"- or "just stopping in to say hi and see if youve gotten my text/or my inboxes?" Or u can say "I might be in your area in 2 wks.wanna get together for ciffee to catch up?"--> that way she has a time limit to respond by and u will know if shes interested in seeing u.then if by chance she says yes u can either go or say "sorry something came up.raincheck?"--or sometimes as immature as this may be, I write a semi vague indirect status not mentioning names..like "feeling confused that a good friend of mine has since turned into a one sided aquantence of mine.at best" or "I just had a chat with an old friend I bumped into.it was nice now I have a few more oldies but goodies that I need to touch base with too bcuz we are, unfortunetely, barely hanging on by a thread" or "just like ___ (<-- add fake name there) said....dont like my status but ignore me in every other aspect.rude!" Or "how do you know when 2 friends have officially crossed the line into the aquantence zone?" Or "feeling for my bff...shes reached out to ppl lately bcuz, littke do they know, shes got some issues going on right now.and ppl who are her "good friends" and whom are *active* on fb havent even acknowledged hwr attempts...ive been thru that too and it hurts but those who arent there for us at our worst dont deserve us at our best"--Etc etc those make valid points like 1-you have other friends so dont *need* the one who likes ur statuss but doesnt respond. 2-suggest that u may have reached out to that friend of yours for a legit reason.u may be going thru stuff.but it also implies that u came out shining without that "friend".3-acknowledges that u r aware she likes your statutes then ignores u otherwise. It will get her thinking and make her realize at the very least. Then after u nonchalantly contact her and if she fails to reply again...put her on restricted maybe? Idk.this may be bad advice but it might get her thinking...idk theres no easy way around possibly losing a friend





Quoting Anonymous:

I've text her. I don't like Just calling people. I'm always worried they are busy. I know she gets text and I have a feeling she's been getting my messages because she likes everything I post so she knows how to work fb.








Quoting Liastele:

In all fairness, it took me forever to understand to check my notifications on Facebook. I missed a ton of wall posts and comments because I simply didn't "get" it. Of course, it sounds like I'm old enough to be your mother so that could be part of the problem.

Instead of getting upset, why don't you try an old fashion method of communication like a phone call? There will be less miscommunications if you simply try speaking to each other. Don't let technology get in the way. 



Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Sep. 16, 2013 at 9:42 AM

Delete her. I had a friend like that, you will feel better when you delete her.

navewife
by Bronze Member on Sep. 16, 2013 at 9:46 AM
Call her and talk to her..tell her how you feel and what tou notice. It may be something else or a misunderstanding. You will never know if you dont just put it out there and ask
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