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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Is it really that easy?

Posted by on Sep. 15, 2013 at 2:28 PM
  • 10 Replies
To remove a toxic person from your life? People always give advice to cut people out of your life if they're extremely negative I.e. MILS, friends etc. But is it really that easy? Does anyone have a personal anecdote where they have done this?
by on Sep. 15, 2013 at 2:28 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Sep. 15, 2013 at 2:29 PM

i just stop all contact. eventually they get the hint. if not, i just tell them that i don't have room in my life anymore and that's that. 

beco8627
by Gold Member on Sep. 15, 2013 at 2:31 PM
No its not easy...but if its for the best the results will be worth the heartache that you will experience for only a short while
me-n-mygirls
by Silver Member on Sep. 15, 2013 at 2:31 PM
I moved from Missouri to California.

it isn't easy, but worth it in the end!!
JamesMom714
by Platinum Member on Sep. 15, 2013 at 2:31 PM
Depends on who it is... A family member or "friend" that lives far? Pretty easy... A spouse... That is a hard one!!
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Sep. 15, 2013 at 2:32 PM

It is for me, but I tend to keep myself at a distance from everyone anyway. I'm kind of cold-hearted I guess. or heartless. I've been called heartless. Lol.

RoxStetz
by Gold Member on Sep. 15, 2013 at 2:32 PM

It's not easy, but sometimes you just have to.  I have an old friend that I has some severe mental problems.  She would go on and off her meds, and when she is on, she is the sweetest person, but when she is off, oh boy.  She is like Satan!! Paranoid, mean and just ugly.   After hearing her accuse me and my husband of doing horrendous things (that actually never even happened) I finally had it.  I stopped accepting calls from her, and I would literally hide in my house if she came by.   I haven't spoken to her now in 2 years, and it's been so peaceful.  Good luck. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Sep. 15, 2013 at 2:33 PM
Emotionally it can be tough, and the few months after can be a lot of stress. But its 100% worth a few months of pain and suffering.
You will probably miss them alot after high emotions settle but dont go back or all that toxic stuff will just return and probably worse than before
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Sep. 15, 2013 at 2:34 PM

Yes.
It is.
I have given the courtesy of telling people the reason why I am ceasing contact and I have also just blocked/ stopped taking calls/ deleted addresses with no explanation.


i.e. abusive woman who raised me- in depth cathargic letter detailing the reasons why with examples to support my statements

i.e. "friend" who thought I was her personal bank- blocked/ stopped returning calls, after  I loaned her, but she thought gifted to her, $100. I got tired, 3 months later, of asking for repayment.



smurfbitebug
by on Sep. 15, 2013 at 2:35 PM
Sure, it's easy enough. Once you figure out that you don't miss the person at all, you just miss the person you wish they would be.
You have to have a backbone about it, though. You can't just try to separate yourself from them all surreptitiously. It doesn't work. You have to basically tell them, "Hey, you know what? You really suck. And you're nothing but an impediment. So.. yeah. Fuck you. Stay away from me."
It sucks at first because all this backlash happens. But then it calms right down and it's just fucking peaceful.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Sep. 15, 2013 at 2:36 PM

it is hard. if its a really good friend, it can be really difficult because deep down you really love that person and don't want to really cut them out, you just want them to change. I have cut 2 friends out in the past because I gave them chance after chance. I even sat them down and talked to them. and they refused to change and just continued to hurt me. it got to the point where I just couldn't do it anymore. I just stopped all contact and moved on. It was the hardest thing I ever did. and I still think about it. but I know in the end, it was absolutely the right thing to do.

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