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What would you do if you were offered unlimited child care, free of charge?

Posted by on Sep. 17, 2013 at 8:21 AM
  • 225 Replies
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I basically got this offer from my MIL yesterday.

She said that after everything I've been through the last few years they've decided that I need a break.

They want to add an extra bedroom/bathroom in my house (they own it) and move in. She said that from now until next June I will be free to do whatever I want.

I've wanted to move closer to Columbus so she said if I want I can go get a place, get a new job, get settled in and the boys will move back in with me next summer. Or if I want, I can stay here when I feel like it or I can stay with friends or my boyfriend whenever I want. If I move I can have the kids as often as I like.

I feel this overwhelming sense of parental guilt but I'm thinking I'm going to take them up on it. We agreed that we'll try it for a month and if I can't do it they'll move out, no questions asked.

She said that after Dan died, getting back into my normal routine seemed to help a lot but she said this time everybody can see that I'm just not dealing with life very well and I'm honestly not, I'm so stressed out and I've been trying to pretend that everything is all good. She thinks that I just need a break from all responsibility to try to decompress and find things that make me happy again.

I know most of you will say that you could never leave your children. To me it feels like I'm doing something to make myself better for them. I'm currently seeing three mental health people so I'm going to talk with them this week and next and see what they think.
by on Sep. 17, 2013 at 8:21 AM
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Replies (1-10):
by Jedi on Sep. 17, 2013 at 8:23 AM
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I'm not sure I'm understanding you. Is she offering to babysit or take over custody of your children?
by Anonymous 1 on Sep. 17, 2013 at 8:23 AM
1 mom liked this

 I don't know your situation but it sounds rough (Husband passing I assume?) . I would accept their help in your situation, if you've been through a lot then yes you do need a break and need to get yourself settled into a new life. For you and your kids. Whether that means leaving them for a little bit or staying with them and working things out.

Good luck.

by Anonymous 2 on Sep. 17, 2013 at 8:24 AM
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not in this lifetime.  I would never give someone unlimited parenting time with my children, except their father.  I could not tolerate someone else raising them in my stead while I went about my own business.  what about their needs, their need to see their mother and know that she's there for them?

and what are you going to do when you decide you want them back, and your inlaws decide you're not ready and go to court to fight you?  because when they show that they've been doing the bulk of the parenting, you're not going to walk out with the kids.

by on Sep. 17, 2013 at 8:24 AM
1 mom liked this
I'm guessing that Dan passed away? If this is the case, I'm sorry for your lose. But never in a million years would or should you give up responsibility of your kids. This is not right. I'm sorry. Not trying to be mean.
by Gold Member on Sep. 17, 2013 at 8:25 AM
I would open my own restaurant :-)
by Anonymous 3 on Sep. 17, 2013 at 8:26 AM
I wouldn't. But, I'm not in your situation.
by Anonymous 4 on Sep. 17, 2013 at 8:26 AM
4 moms liked this

Their dad died and now mom wants to leave. Think about how that will mess them up.

I don't know. Do what's best for you all. I just don't see how you leaving is best

Good luck
by Platinum Member on Sep. 17, 2013 at 8:27 AM
1 mom liked this

I completely understand. You do what is best for you and your children. Hugs to you and I am so very sorry for your loss. :(

by on Sep. 17, 2013 at 8:28 AM

I would never want my inlaws living in ly house. that would be hell, I like my own space and privacy.

I do have unlimited free childcare. However I would never leave my kids with my inlaws either. Thats not an option for me. 

by Anonymous 5 on Sep. 17, 2013 at 8:31 AM
14 moms liked this

You will never have your kids again.  Time and time again, I have read the same story.  Grandma offers to take the kids while mom gets settled after losing her spouse/SO after a death or divorce then when Mom is ready to bring the kids home, the excuses start.  Let them finish the school semester, then the school year.  Then it's well, we want to *vacation plans with the kids* and then they can come home.  Extending it for however long they can until Mom gets fed up and attempts to take it to court then the judge says well, they have been with their Grandma for a year and now you want them back?  Sorry, no, they are settled in and this is obviously a better environment for them and that is that.  No matter what hoops you jump through to please the grandma and the judge, you do not get custody back.  

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