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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

What would you do if you were offered unlimited child care, free of charge?

I basically got this offer from my MIL yesterday.

She said that after everything I've been through the last few years they've decided that I need a break.

They want to add an extra bedroom/bathroom in my house (they own it) and move in. She said that from now until next June I will be free to do whatever I want.

I've wanted to move closer to Columbus so she said if I want I can go get a place, get a new job, get settled in and the boys will move back in with me next summer. Or if I want, I can stay here when I feel like it or I can stay with friends or my boyfriend whenever I want. If I move I can have the kids as often as I like.

I feel this overwhelming sense of parental guilt but I'm thinking I'm going to take them up on it. We agreed that we'll try it for a month and if I can't do it they'll move out, no questions asked.

She said that after Dan died, getting back into my normal routine seemed to help a lot but she said this time everybody can see that I'm just not dealing with life very well and I'm honestly not, I'm so stressed out and I've been trying to pretend that everything is all good. She thinks that I just need a break from all responsibility to try to decompress and find things that make me happy again.

I know most of you will say that you could never leave your children. To me it feels like I'm doing something to make myself better for them. I'm currently seeing three mental health people so I'm going to talk with them this week and next and see what they think.
by on Sep. 17, 2013 at 8:21 AM
Replies (221-225):
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Sep. 17, 2013 at 8:05 PM

I seem to recall there were previous issues with the MIL though I don't remember the details.


Quoting avonleafan:

why is everyone on here so distrusting of the grandparents? it isn't like every single set of grandparents is out to steal kids from their parents. there are people left in the world who truly want to help out others. I will never understand not trusting anyone else with my children....for my family, it is a group effort. my husband and I make all the decisions for our children but we 100 percent trust both my parents and my mother in law to watch them when the need arises. that being said, I'm not sure I could leave them for that long. I won't lie and say that it wouldn't be nice to have a two or three week, or even in a month long vacation. after that I would be aching to hold them again and would not go away for a very very long time.

Quoting Jennyanne322:

This is exactly what I was thinking.

Quoting Anonymous:

You will never have your kids again.  Time and time again, I have read the same story.  Grandma offers to take the kids while mom gets settled after losing her spouse/SO after a death or divorce then when Mom is ready to bring the kids home, the excuses start.  Let them finish the school semester, then the school year.  Then it's well, we want to *vacation plans with the kids* and then they can come home.  Extending it for however long they can until Mom gets fed up and attempts to take it to court then the judge says well, they have been with their Grandma for a year and now you want them back?  Sorry, no, they are settled in and this is obviously a better environment for them and that is that.  No matter what hoops you jump through to please the grandma and the judge, you do not get custody back.  




 

sexysiren1983
by on Sep. 17, 2013 at 10:49 PM


I don 't think she said that at all...why are you inferring this? she did not say she would leave her kids; she said she was conisdering 'accepting her help". How is accepting help leaving your kids? Just bc she's a mom she's sentenced to be with her kids 24/7? what century are you from?

Quoting Anonymous:



Their dad died and now mom wants to leave. Think about how that will mess them up.

I don't know. Do what's best for you all. I just don't see how you leaving is best

Good luck



ColtsFan1912
by FriendoftheFoot on Sep. 17, 2013 at 10:53 PM
1 mom liked this

Honestly, I can't say. I haven't been through the hell you have so . . i don't know what I would do. It'd be easy to sit here, where I am now, and say no way in hell would I do that but I can't put myself in your shoes and truly know what I'd do.

I wish you the best no matter what you choose.

sexysiren1983
by on Sep. 17, 2013 at 10:59 PM


Have you ever been so depressed? Do you understand clincial/grief depression? Until you've had it or walked in her shoes I don't think you are in any right to judge her. Yeah that was a mistake, she knows that. Of course she has some mental health sisues, she's a single mom and a widow doing it alone! No suicide is not the way out but many depressed ppl don't realize that. I know after my dad died he was also my only family support (my mom is a selfish b-word) I was very close to killing myself (and made some other stupid decisions instead, which i'm sure a lot of moms already know and the catty, mean ones who stalk my posts will love to cattily rub in my face)...but anyways my dd was what stopped me...but i have had those ideations, and I know what it's like to feel there's no way out...do you?? apparently not.

Quoting PalmBayTish:

And THIS is why you need to let your MIL care for your kids. Any mom with half a bit of sense would put her children before her own needs and fears of being alone. You tried to kill yourself, so you are mentally unstable and obviously don't give two shits about your children to begin with. How well could you possible know about these men after a month or two, yet you rush right in and get knocked up? You're not using good judegement and yes, the kids are better off with your mother in law.


Plus, what really burns my biscuits is that you refer to this situation as unlimited free child care and NOT for what it is...a mom who don't want responsibility.


Quoting WesAndNicksMom:

People keep saying that I've been a shitty parent because I worked hard my whole life? That's ridiculous. And I don't have a ridiculous social life, I work on Saturdays too so Sundays are the only day I'm just home with them. The boyfriend and I don't get to see each other much, we mostly just talk on the phone a few hours a night after the kids are in bed and we text all day. Yes, I have issues with being single and that's part of what we're working in in therapy. I try REALLY REALLY REALLY hard to just have a normal life like everyone else and it's just really wearing on me. I tried to kill myself this summer and since everyone just dies anyway I'm struggling with seeing the point in any of this.





Anonymous
by Anonymous on Sep. 17, 2013 at 11:04 PM
Seriously?

Too lame to even bother

Quoting sexysiren1983:


I don 't think she said that at all...why are you inferring this? she did not say she would leave her kids; she said she was conisdering 'accepting her help". How is accepting help leaving your kids? Just bc she's a mom she's sentenced to be with her kids 24/7? what century are you from?


Quoting Anonymous:





Their dad died and now mom wants to leave. Think about how that will mess them up.



I don't know. Do what's best for you all. I just don't see how you leaving is best



Good luck




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