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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I find this unacceptable! Do you? *edit!*

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 160 Replies

 

Poll

Question: What would you do if your husband spoke to your son that way?

Options:

Nothing. I would say the same thing.

Nothing. I wouldn't say it, but I don't care if he does. It's a man thing.

I would tell him I don't like it.

I would be livid, and he would know it.


Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 315

View Results

My 5 year old son has been struggling emotionally since he started kindergarten.  His teacher says that he is great and even-tempered at school, so I am not concerned about that.  He has been crying a lot at home when he is frustrated or doesn't get his way.  He's a thoughtful kid and has no history of acting bratty, so I've chalked it up to him being very tired because of his new schedule.  I've talked to him, and he seems to understand that he needs to work on expressing himself verbally instead of breaking down crying all the time.

This morning, he started crying over something insignificant, and my husband said, "Why are you acting like a girl?  We are going to have to change your name to (girl's name similar to my son's)!"

I blew up.

1. I think that saying something like that to a five year old is downright mean, and if you are a grown man who feels compelled to bully and emasculate a 5 year old, then you need to grow a pair.

2. Why is "like a girl" an insult?  We have been a family of Mom+boys, but I recently had a daughter.  I don't want her to grow up thinking that being a girl is the worst thing in the world.  And as a woman, I'm a bit offended by the implication that being a girl is so awful.

3. The issue is not that my son is acting like a girl.  The issue is that he is not acting like a 5 year old who is smart and fully capable of expressing himself with words instead of having an emotional meltdown every time he is unhappy with something.  "Acting like a girl" means absolutely nothing in this situation.  It's simply meant to be an insult and hurt his feelings.

Is it just me, or is it totally unacceptable for my husband to talk to our son that way?

Edit:

I told my husband on the phone this afternoon that I was still really bothered by what happened this morning and why.  I told him to think about how unacceptable it was.  Much to my surprise, he apologized to me and to our son tonight.

Posted by Anonymous on Sep. 18, 2013 at 1:34 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Sep. 18, 2013 at 1:35 PM

Bump

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Sep. 18, 2013 at 1:35 PM

Bump

crazygirl907
by Silver Member on Sep. 18, 2013 at 1:35 PM

I would be angry. My dh says things to my boys that I don't like and I always address it with him. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Sep. 18, 2013 at 1:35 PM

Bump

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Sep. 18, 2013 at 1:36 PM

What if he said that he sees nothing wrong with it and will not stop speaking to him that way?


Quoting crazygirl907:

I would be angry. My dh says things to my boys that I don't like and I always address it with him. 



MrsDavidB25
by Stacey on Sep. 18, 2013 at 1:36 PM
3 moms liked this

 DH says things like that too. Doesn't bother me.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Sep. 18, 2013 at 1:37 PM
1 mom liked this

Completely unacceptable.  I would definitely say something. 

ImNotKarl
by Also Not Paul on Sep. 18, 2013 at 1:37 PM
3 moms liked this

Even my husband said that was unacceptable and your husband was being an asshole.

I am NOT Karl. But I might still eat your hands.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Sep. 18, 2013 at 1:38 PM

It was offensive to me, but the fact that it clearly devastated my 5 year old made it way worse.


Quoting MrsDavidB25:

 DH says things like that too. Doesn't bother me.



AMRios
by on Sep. 18, 2013 at 1:38 PM

Maybe your son needs a nap after school or to go to bed earlier... They are very tired when adjusting to school schedules... He doesn't have to nap but just rest for an hour after he gets home... It is just a saying I really wouldn't care... We say it to our boys... He needs to stop whining!

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