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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Why does the romance always seem to die

Posted by on Sep. 18, 2013 at 7:43 PM
  • 153 Replies
2 moms liked this
My dh used to text me first thing each morning telling me he loved me and to have a good day, he'd call me on lunch, send me a pic of himself occasionally, he would leave me post it's with cute messages on them, offer me massages, we'd talk some nights for hours on end, he'd kiss me often, hold my hand, open doors for me, dote on me, tell me he loved me several times a day.


I get nothing now. I did all of those things even after he stopped but got to a point where I was so irritated I said screw it. Why do men or some men I should say think its ok to bait a woman in making her think he is this kind hearted, romantic, affectionate, teddy bear and then after they are together a couple years completely takes away the person she fell in love with?

It's so unfair.

How do you keep the romance


EDIT: for those who asked, yes I did have a previous post about his previous affairs making me feel like I need to have sex with him near constantly. And yes I am 18 weeks pregnant with my fourth child, he will hopefully be my third living child.

I want to work out my marriage which is why I am asking for advice on getting they romantic spark back because I feel lost and don't know what to do to improve that.

Thanks for your answers and the support. I have no one else to lean on for friendship or advise
by on Sep. 18, 2013 at 7:43 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Click_Queen
by Platinum Member on Sep. 18, 2013 at 7:46 PM
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It is unfair. But thats how it is more often then not. The LOVE is still there, but the romance is something that fades away. Usually it fades, comes back, fades, comes back etc etc over the years. It DOES such. Tell him how you feel. It might help. 

Rockabella
by Gold Member on Sep. 18, 2013 at 7:49 PM
It's hard :/ I knew it wouldn't always be in that super romantic honey moon stage but it kinda feels like the romance and the love died together like they went hand and hand and if ones gone the other goes too or something.


Quoting Click_Queen:

It is unfair. But thats how it is more often then not. The LOVE is still there, but the romance is something that fades away. Usually it fades, comes back, fades, comes back etc etc over the years. It DOES such. Tell him how you feel. It might help. 


outtamymynd
by Ruby Member on Sep. 18, 2013 at 7:49 PM
I haven't run into that problem yet, 11 years in and my husband still does all of that. Maybe you should start doing that for him, and maybe he will follow your lead?
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Rockabella
by Gold Member on Sep. 18, 2013 at 7:50 PM
I continued to for a while after a year I got tired of being the only sweet romantic one and feeling like a doormat.

I've tried to do those things again recently but it goes without much acknowledgement or at most a thank you. He seems so cold now and distant.


Quoting outtamymynd:

I haven't run into that problem yet, 11 years in and my husband still does all of that. Maybe you should start doing that for him, and maybe he will follow your lead?

Click_Queen
by Platinum Member on Sep. 18, 2013 at 7:51 PM
1 mom liked this

I totally feel your pain. My husband still snuggles and tells me he loves me and whatnot but its not romantic like before. He doesnt bring me home flowers but once or twice a year, doesnt write me love letters, and if we go on a date I usually plan it. It sucks sometimes, but just remember that love is more important than romance. Have you tried talking with him about it? You should google "The seven stages of marriage" its a good article.

Quoting Rockabella:

It's hard :/ I knew it wouldn't always be in that super romantic honey moon stage but it kinda feels like the romance and the love died together like they went hand and hand and if ones gone the other goes too or something.


Quoting Click_Queen:

It is unfair. But thats how it is more often then not. The LOVE is still there, but the romance is something that fades away. Usually it fades, comes back, fades, comes back etc etc over the years. It DOES such. Tell him how you feel. It might help. 



Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Sep. 18, 2013 at 7:51 PM
1 mom liked this
Didn't your DH cheat and you are having sex daily to keep him from straying...

You just need a better man
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Sep. 18, 2013 at 7:51 PM
3 moms liked this
Love evolves from passionate/romantic to comfortable. It takes adjustment but the comfortable love is what lasts. You'll have the romance again - relationships go through cycles and you'll fall in and out of love. Make efforts to stay in touch with him emotionally and romantically, and you'll find that he'll reciprocate.
WaffleHead
by on Sep. 18, 2013 at 7:52 PM
Are you about to start your period or something?
You sound emotional


Quoting Rockabella:

I continued to for a while after a year I got tired of being the only sweet romantic one and feeling like a doormat.



I've tried to do those things again recently but it goes without much acknowledgement or at most a thank you. He seems so cold now and distant.




Quoting outtamymynd:

I haven't run into that problem yet, 11 years in and my husband still does all of that. Maybe you should start doing that for him, and maybe he will follow your lead?


Raeann11
by Ruby Member on Sep. 18, 2013 at 7:52 PM

Talk to him about how you feel about it.

We keep an communication open and talk about what we are feeling. So the other knows how we are feeling. Yes there are ups and downs. But if you stay open about things. It does help a lot.

MrsDavidB25
by Stacey on Sep. 18, 2013 at 7:52 PM

 

O.o

Quoting Anonymous:

Didn't your DH cheat and you are having sex daily to keep him from straying...

You just need a better man

 

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