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What's your opinion on this? Are we overstepping? EDIT

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
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Ok, so we live with my MIL(it's not her house it's all of our house) and SIL and DH's uncle(long story). We have 2 DD's that are 11 and 10. SIL is away at college right now and has met a boyfriend(they have been dating 3 weeks maybe). Anyways, she is coming home this weekend and the boy is coming with her. Well, DH calls her last night to tell her that we don't care if the boy comes and stays here, but he doesn't want them sleeping in the same room because we have young daughters, that look up to their aunt, and he doesn't want them getting the impression that it is ok to have boys stay the night and sleep with them before you are married. SIL gets pretty upset and starts saying "Well, Mom let your girlfriends stay the night when I was little" and blah,blah, blah. Well, that's true, but his mom isn't raising our daughters, WE ARE, and this is all of our house and everyone needs to be respected and give and take some. Not saying they can't hang out alone, or as late as they want, but when it is time to sleep, just go to different rooms. I don't think it is too much to ask, so that our girls don't think that it is a good idea to sleep with boys. SIL is 21, if that makes a difference. So do you think we are out of line in asking her to just not sleep in the same room with her bf?

ETA: I am gonna try to answer some questions. SIL has her own apartment, where she lives full-time, while at school.I say this is her home because she is welcomed here to visit whenever she wants. Uncle has Down Syndrome and he lives with us because he can't live on his own. DH, MIL and I pay all the bills for the home. DH's name is the only one on the lease.

Posted by Anonymous on Sep. 19, 2013 at 1:14 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Ninjascreenname
by Gold Member on Sep. 19, 2013 at 1:16 PM
20 moms liked this
I think if you want to have total control of a house you need to move out and get your own. YES you're overstepping.
mem82
by Platinum Member on Sep. 19, 2013 at 1:16 PM

I don't think you are overstepping.

twade26
by on Sep. 19, 2013 at 1:16 PM
5 moms liked this

She's a grown ass woman. I would've laughed in your face.

yo_ho
by Silver Member on Sep. 19, 2013 at 1:16 PM
2 moms liked this
I see what you are saying, but if it's her house too you really don't have much say.
sstef126
by Bronze Member on Sep. 19, 2013 at 1:16 PM

What does MIL say?

HIJKLM
by Ruby Member on Sep. 19, 2013 at 1:16 PM
5 moms liked this
I would say you're over stepping. It's her home too. She is an adult. Her parents are ok with it. Your kids probably won't even notice anyway.
armywifey1983
by Gold Member on Sep. 19, 2013 at 1:17 PM
1 mom liked this

I think its a reasonable request. There are two impressionable girls in the house, and you don't want them growing up faster than they already are. My sister and I had the same rules, and so did my brother (until a family emergency for his gf changed the rules a bit).

**Edit After reading the post again, let me say this. It isn't your house, true. However, you can go to your MIL with your concerns and plead your case. Though ultimately, the decision will be hers. If she allows it, you can turn this into a learning experience for your daughters. IE 'it is allowed in this house for your aunt because grandma makes the rules. However, I make the rules when it comes to you two, and I ask that you not have boys in the house overnight until you're married.'


Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Sep. 19, 2013 at 1:17 PM
2 moms liked this

I think you are asking a little much. I mean she is 21. You can't expect everyone to conform to your way of thinking. Your girls are old enough to understand adult relationships.

RobinBright
by Platinum Member on Sep. 19, 2013 at 1:17 PM
4 moms liked this
Yes, you are overstepping, unless the other bill-paying adults all agree on this rule. If you want to control your children's environment, get your own house.
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Sep. 19, 2013 at 1:18 PM


MIL agrees with us and understands why we are asking that.

Quoting sstef126:

What does MIL say?



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