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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

It's 2013...who cares??

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 142 Replies
1 mom liked this
Why do some people have to push old fashioned views on people? I don't push my views on anyone. I'm not saying you have to agree with my lifestyle but just don't preach your way of life to me.

I have three kids my fourth on the way. I have been with the same person for 11 years. We however are not married and it feels like constantly we get strange looks or comments from friends, family and sometimes strangers because of it.

Why is it so bad that we didn't want to get married? We rent a home. The same place we have for 9 years. Our cars are paid off and we each have one and neither of us have any credit card debt. If we split up the only thing we have to do is go to court for custody matters which we would be agreeable about for the sake of the children.

I don't see where being married changed anything if I woke up tomorrow married instead of not married nothing would be different but my last name.
Posted by Anonymous on Sep. 21, 2013 at 9:24 AM
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Replies (1-10):
TranquilMind
by Ruby Member on Sep. 21, 2013 at 9:28 AM
1 mom liked this

 "Why do some leaks have to push old fashioned views on people?"

What? 

And why don't you just get married?  If you are committed enough to have 4 kids together, it might be a good idea and simplify matters for you. 

It IS different, despite what you think now.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Sep. 21, 2013 at 9:28 AM
7 moms liked this

Marriage is a legal document, nothing more and nothing less. It can't promise happiness, health, love, trust, communication, or respect. It can't promise that you'll be good together or that you'll be good parents, it can't protect you from infidelity or abuse. It's literally nothing more than a legal document promising benefits through the government. If you're not interested in that, more power to you. There are still legal steps you can take without getting married to protect yourself in many of the same ways. I'm sure you guys will live a great life :)

CelestialSong
by on Sep. 21, 2013 at 9:30 AM
1 mom liked this

Even your last name wouldn't be different unless you went and changed it :) I don't get why people care either. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Sep. 21, 2013 at 9:30 AM
3 moms liked this

there are a lot of legal reasons to be married.   I will not go into listing the reasons why, but to sum it all up, you are not legally considered family and would have no say in cases of emergencies. I will never agree with having children outside of marriage either.  It is something I would never do, and I am also teaching my dd that it is wrong.  If a man does not want to marry you, he does not really love you.  It amazes me that he is good enough to have kids with but not marry?  I don't understand, never will.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Sep. 21, 2013 at 9:31 AM
Actually, because it IS a legal document it can protect you legally in the case of infidelity in a courtroom.
But I get what you're saying. A license won't stop a person from cheating.


Quoting Anonymous:

Marriage is a legal document, nothing more and nothing less. It can't promise happiness, health, love, trust, communication, or respect. It can't promise that you'll be good together or that you'll be good parents, it can't protect you from infidelity or abuse. It's literally nothing more than a legal document promising benefits through the government. If you're not interested in that, more power to you. I'm sure you guys will live a great life :)


Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Sep. 21, 2013 at 9:31 AM
2 moms liked this

I think marriage is good for protecting people legally. That being said, if you don't want to do it then don't but if you or your husband are ever in an accident and they are only letting family members in, I hope you have someone near that can escort your kids. I also hope that in the event of something terrible you have some for of legal document that protects the both of you, that gives you each medical power of attorney over each other and make sure your assets are secure.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Sep. 21, 2013 at 9:32 AM

this, ten times over, although you will never convince them marriage is best if you are having one child after another with him.
Quoting TranquilMind:

 "Why do some leaks have to push old fashioned views on people?"

What? 

And why don't you just get married?  If you are committed enough to have 4 kids together, it might be a good idea and simplify matters for you. 

It IS different, despite what you think now.


Pink.Sunshine.
by on Sep. 21, 2013 at 9:33 AM
6 moms liked this

kids are more of a commitment than marriage is

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Sep. 21, 2013 at 9:34 AM

 


Quoting Anonymous:

I think marriage is good for protecting people legally. That being said, if you don't want to do it then don't but if you or your husband are ever in an accident and they are only letting family members in, I hope you have someone near that can escort your kids. I also hope that in the event of something terrible you have some for of legal document that protects the both of you, that gives you each medical power of attorney over each other and make sure your assets are secure.

they would have no legal consent w/out marriage. 

  This is one of the many reasons to make that so called commitment legal.  11 yrs , 4 kids and no marriage is not a commitment IMO

.Milfshake.
by SoNastySoRude on Sep. 21, 2013 at 9:36 AM

Quoting TranquilMind:

 "Why do some leaks have to push old fashioned views on people?"

What? 

And why don't you just get married?  If you are committed enough to have 4 kids together, it might be a good idea and simplify matters for you. 

It IS different, despite what you think now.


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