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grandma doesn't love her

Posted by on Sep. 22, 2013 at 2:33 AM
  • 30 Replies
Ok I Need advice cause I'm not sure how to handle this. My 3 year old who will be 4 in November came up to me as we were leaving my nieces birthday party and asked why grandma loves her cousin more then her. I asked her what she meant and she said grandma always buys her cousin lots of stuff but grandma doesn't buy her stuff. I told her that it was her cousins birthday and that's why she got gifts. This is not the first time this has come up. My older 2 have brought up that my mother inlaw frequently buys stuff for my niece and why she doesn't buy them stuff randomly. My mother inlaw only buys my children stuff for their birthday and Christmas but buys stuff for my niece almost weekly. My niece just turned 2. I know it's not a money issue because my brother inlaw brings home good money from the oil fields. My youngest will be 2 in December so my niece isn't the youngest. My 3 year old asked my mother inlaw a couple months ago when my mother inlaw bought My niece a bike and helmet why she bought it if it wasn't Christmas or her birthday and my mother inlaw just told my daughter cause she wanted to. My daughter is very smart for her age and catches on quick to things. I need advice on how to handle this do I talk to my mother inlaw or leave it be.? I know it will come up again at some point specially with my daughter's birthday coming up
by on Sep. 22, 2013 at 2:33 AM
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by Gold Member on Sep. 22, 2013 at 2:36 AM
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I would talk to her.

Then because she is obviously a bitch, I'd make plans to get the hell out of dodge and avoid seeing her - forever.  She isn't going to suddenly start liking your kids.  Or play fair with them all.  The difference will become more pronounced as they get older and the shit will hit the fan more often.

by Anonymous 1 on Sep. 22, 2013 at 2:37 AM

Wow, not really sure  I would talk w/ her.   

by Jennifer on Sep. 22, 2013 at 2:38 AM

Tell Grandma to play fair or cut her completely out of their lives so they don't end up feeling less than their cousin. There is nothing wrong with excising a rancid bitch from your children's lives.

by Platinum Member on Sep. 22, 2013 at 2:38 AM

There's nothing you can do.

Me and my brothers realized pretty early on that the older we got the less interested one set of grandparents was in us.

Since they were kind of dicks anyway, and we had another set who worshiped the ground we walked on, we figured it all came out in the wash.

by Platinum Member on Sep. 22, 2013 at 2:40 AM
1 mom liked this

COming from a someone who had to watch her cousins get Nintendos and VCRs (yeah Im old, shut up) while she got a pair of socks or a drink and wet doll at 16 years old, please talk to her, it really does hurt. Its not the not getting as much stuff, its knowing that your grandmother loves your cousins more than she love you. Please talk to her!

by Anonymous 2 on Sep. 22, 2013 at 2:44 AM
My mil is the same, I just leave it alone. She isn't welcome in my home anymore, anything that involves this unborn baby will be fine through dh not I. My dd is hurt but in the end she's got lots of 'grandmas' who don't do that to her. The only reason this baby isn't included in the cutoff is because I'm giving her the rope to hang herself with. Dh agrees and came up with idea.
by Anonymous 3 on Sep. 22, 2013 at 2:45 AM
We have the same problem. We've talked about it and mil and fil deny it. My husband was treated like shit growing up and his sister was treated like a princess. The other day mil got on to ds for having his "dirty" feet on the couch, while sil kid was crawling all over the couch with shoes on plus the dog was on the couch.
by on Sep. 22, 2013 at 2:52 AM

My sister in law (who is alomst 50 and is married to my oldest brother who isn't even 40 yet) never liked me or my sister. She would do all kinds of fun things with my friends when we were all little with her kids, but she would never have me invited or included in anything. I'm 18 now and she's just now trying to be all 'buddy buddy' with me.. I can't stand the woman, I stoped including her as part of my family when I was about 12. I don't know what she wants from me all of the sudden, it's not like i'm rich or really have anything that she could use. But to relate this to your post, you probably feel the same way my mom did when I was your daughter's age. I feel really sorry for your kids, I know how they feel. I wish I knew what to tell you to do, the only thing I can think of is just don't do things with your mother in law as much as you can. Also, I know how you feel in an other way because my baby's grandma doesn't seem to care at all or even want to acknowledge that there's a baby at all, but she goes way out of her way to get her other grandkids stuff and she always talks about them.. It's really saddening to me. 

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by Gold Member on Sep. 22, 2013 at 2:56 AM
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i wouldn't say a word people, buying gifts is an extra, if the kids get gifts on  the right occasions  that should be plenty. There may be a reason that you don't know about. Children to  need to grow up knowing that life isn't always  fair and this is  a good lesson right here without it being too   harsh. This is also a good time to  teach you r children that love isn't  shown  with gift or monetary items. I would not bring this up with the family as it sounds greedy. I can see where you are coming from as we all want our kids to feel loved and be happy but i don't think its worth fighting over.

by on Sep. 22, 2013 at 2:57 AM
I'm really sorry. I would speak to her about it and then I would probably cut her out if she doesn't want to play fair..
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