Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Why the attitude of self righteousness over not having a life outside your home?

Posted by on Sep. 23, 2013 at 12:05 PM
  • 14 Replies

 To the moms who have pretty much given up on everything outside their house and kids....if that's what makes you happy, good for you. Everyone should do what makes them happy. But why be so self righteous about it? It's not everyone here, but there are some who have this attitude of, "I keep my kids up under me 24/7, never go out on date with dh, never do anything without my kids, ever, and that's what makes me a great mom." It's as if giving up on everything outside of home makes you better than other moms. Why? So moms who go out to hear music, or on dates with their dh, or girls' vacations aren't as good parents as you? What makes a mother who has given up all aspects of life outside her kids better than the mom who re-energizes and still enjoys other aspects of life? CM is the only place I see this. All my friends IRL are great, loving moms and have very active social lives as well.

by on Sep. 23, 2013 at 12:05 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
malissaL
by Platinum Member on Sep. 23, 2013 at 12:06 PM

I dunno...BUMP? 

Arwyn724
by on Sep. 23, 2013 at 12:07 PM

They are martyrs, but they don't see it that way.  It kills me when you get chastised for your kids spending time with their grandparents, who love them & care for them as well as I would.  I feel sorry for kids who have no one else in their lives but these judgmental moms.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Sep. 23, 2013 at 12:10 PM
It's not them, it's you. When you post things judging people who don't fob their kids off on the grandparents every single week you invite criticism from the 99% of parents who don't live like that.
starbuckmom03
by on Sep. 23, 2013 at 12:11 PM
1 mom liked this

Maybe they want a pat on their back and tell them they are the best moms around? I don't know.

I am a better mom when I get a break.

momto2boys973
by Ruby Member on Sep. 23, 2013 at 12:11 PM
1 mom liked this
It's the myth of the "sacrificial mom". The more a mother sacrifices herself the "better" mom she is.
However, IMHO, a good mom is a happy mom with her own needs fulfilled. Not only are you more pleasant when you're fulfilled yourself, but you also teach your children some very important lessons. How to care of their needs, how to respect that others have needs, how not to feel entitled, etc.
it's a fact that every parent makes sacrifices. But the amount of sacrifices doesn't make one a better parent. But to know when you have to make a sacrifice and when you have to teach your children that they have to make a sacrifice is what makes a good parent.
ToniTennille
by Silver Member on Sep. 23, 2013 at 12:12 PM

I have my kids 24/7 because Daddy spilt. I definitely don't think I'm the best mom out there but I do try my hardest but I'll tell you some thing... I love them too death but me being stuck with them 24/7 makes me go nuts at times. I need a break. lol I know what you're saying though. That's my sister. "Rolls eyes" She drives me and my mom insane with her comments.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Sep. 23, 2013 at 12:13 PM
I'm not self-righteous about it. I just state that that's how my life is. If anyone reads more into it than that, that is their issue, not mine.
ETA: I haven't given up on anything, nor does my way of life dictate whether or not I'm a great Mom. That isn't what makes a great mom. I'm happy with how my life is, and I love being a SAHM. I have no friends because people fuck me over, so there's that.
LAXmom21
by Ruby Member on Sep. 23, 2013 at 12:14 PM

 She wasn't being judgemental, she was asking a question. Apparently, that makes you judgemental on here. Maybe she knows someone IRL like that and just wanted to try and understand why, or what they do to make their connection to their DH stronger etc....

Quoting Anonymous:

It's not them, it's you. When you post things judging people who don't fob their kids off on the grandparents every single week you invite criticism from the 99% of parents who don't live like that.

 

Hoppers33
by Platinum Member on Sep. 23, 2013 at 12:19 PM
Not only do I need a break, but the kids do too. I guess some kids might want their mom by their side 24/7 their whole life, but mine are excited when they get to do things on their own. When I go get my hair done or go see a movie with dh, my kids do a happy dance that they get the house to themselves or that their young, cool aunt is babysitting.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Sep. 23, 2013 at 12:20 PM
I was referring to the other post where she was arguing that people who don't send their kids off on a weekly basis have bad marriages. It was very judgmental.


Quoting LAXmom21:

 She wasn't being judgemental, she was asking a question. Apparently, that makes you judgemental on here. Maybe she knows someone IRL like that and just wanted to try and understand why, or what they do to make their connection to their DH stronger etc....


Quoting Anonymous:

It's not them, it's you. When you post things judging people who don't fob their kids off on the grandparents every single week you invite criticism from the 99% of parents who don't live like that.

 


Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN