Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

would you lower the child support?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 92 Replies
Ex called, barely been involved in ds' life. He owes $18,000 in back support and owes $300/month... he has no job. Hasn't had a job since like 2007, support ordered back in 2006, when he had a job and he never took it upon himself to change it when he quit.

He wants me to go to the judge, say he's been babysitting (not true), wanting to form a relationship with ds (if actions speak louder than words, this isn't true either), and to forgive him for the back support and ask to lower the amount.

I got laid off and while I don't NEED the money, it's only because my dad is helping me. I've never depended on the money, cuz well, I never got it. I just learned to deal without it...

But it's ds' money. Without my dad, even with a job, I doubt I'd be able to give him every basic need without some type of help (whether cs or pa).

I guess my question is, would you forgive the past amount? Or just let the back support stay there?

Either way, it'll be lowered to either $50/month or nothing at all- IF he actually takes the time to go to court for it.... it could be that he wants me to do all the work, ask for it lowered/forgiven so he doesn't have to do anything.


Edit- he was selling drugs and stealing to support himself when he wasn't working a legit job. He got caught, the courts added on non support, so he has been to prison for not paying. He got out and really hasn't done much. Honestly, I wouldn't mind lowering the support for when he was locked up (which was still at $300), if they could backtrack that. But that's as far as I'd be willing to g.



UPDATE-ISH:

I decided to not forgive the past amount. And if he files for lower support, I won't fight it- I can't. You can't get money from a turnip or whatever lol. I just need to find a way to tell him without him throwing a bitch fit at me and saying it'll be my fault when he goes back to prison.

Thing is, he's working under the table now (from what he says- nagging $30/day). Has he asked if I need help- nope. Ds has a bday coming up, he has school fees due the beginning of November. I think I'm gonna ask him for hep for those things first, then when he says no- cuz he will- explain I'm not forgiving the past cuz I can't even depend on him financially right now, let alone in any other way for ds .


o
Posted by Anonymous on Sep. 25, 2013 at 8:13 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Sep. 25, 2013 at 8:16 PM
He swears hes been trying to find a job... but between felonies, and tattoos (only place he doesn't have it is his face- neck and down is covered, including fingers)... they won't hire him and he's 'getting discouraged'
outtamymynd
by Ruby Member on Sep. 25, 2013 at 8:17 PM
Don't do it.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Sep. 25, 2013 at 8:17 PM
No
peanutsmommy1
by Ruby Member on Sep. 25, 2013 at 8:17 PM
2 moms liked this
Nope, I would never forgive the debt
indymom72
by Silver Member on Sep. 25, 2013 at 8:18 PM

no, I wouldn't lower it or forgive the past amount.

TranquilMind
by Ruby Member on Sep. 25, 2013 at 8:19 PM
1 mom liked this

 It is not for you.  It is for the child.  Let him pay it back.  He owes HIS child. 

ramita
by Gold Member on Sep. 25, 2013 at 8:19 PM
Well there's always oilfield work, pipelines jobs, etc. No I wouldn't forgive it unless he was able to sign over his rights and did.
KSBlueyz
by Member on Sep. 25, 2013 at 8:19 PM

Absolutely not! That money is there to support your child. The fact that you've gotten help is irrelevant. Your ex needs to step up and pay his fair share....for HIS child. 

happymama0609
by Gold Member on Sep. 25, 2013 at 8:19 PM
Hell no
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Sep. 25, 2013 at 8:19 PM
I would forgive the back pay...
Fathers have to survive too...and that's alot to be in debt...but I would only do it once.
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)