Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Nervous about appointment-bi polar related

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 3 Replies

So after a few hectic months and not feeling emotionally myself (well let's face it I haven't felt emotionally myself in the past year) I finally decided to make an appt with a psychologist. I go on Monday.

I'm nervous because, when I was 17, while in rehab I was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder. I got into treatment, I was taking my medications they prescribed me, and after a few months I felt a lot more in control of my emotions.

After I turned 18, I lost my health insurance. I couldn't go see a therapist, and I couldn't get prescribed my meds anymore. I felt "fine" for a while and then I started abusing drugs and drinking all the time.

I quit using after I turned 19. I got a good job, got my life together. I still wasn't seeing anybody or taking medication, but everything was managable for the most part. When I was 22 I had a nervous breakdown. I didn't get any treatment, I just kept on trucking until things started feeling normal again. And once again I was "okay."

Then for I say this past year, my emotions have been all over the place. I stopped taking care of myself. I stopped caring about my job, (one I have been at for the past five years), I fight with my DH all the god damn time. I don't sleep anymore. And then sometimes, I sleep ALL day. I feel bad for my DH sometimes, to have to be with a woman who's sweet as pie one minute and then the next tries to bite his head off.  

My grandpa died a few weeks ago. I was very close to him. He was the one who took me when I was younger to get help and I miss him terribly every single day. My heart is broken by his passing. The depression has hit me hard. A lot harder than I could ever imagine. The day he died, I drank a fifth of tequelia to myself. I dont want to go to work because of the anxiety ( I still go to work ladies so its not like I am dodging out of my responsibilities.)

I'm nervous about my appointment. There is a lot of stigma when it comes to mental illness. I feel like a failure because I can't control what is going on with me. Has anyone else felt like this? I know I need the help. I know I need to do this for myself.

Has anyone else gotten treatment for this? Does it get better?

 

Posted by Anonymous on Sep. 27, 2013 at 1:26 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-3):
RaniNY
by Bronze Member on Sep. 27, 2013 at 2:19 AM
1 mom liked this
I was off the deep end for quite awhile. When you get to the point where you need meds, you need them. Get them before it becomes too bad. Get a handle on your life and feelings and then worry about whether or not you should continue forever. Stress can trigger it or make it worse. Yes, there is stigma, but no one needs to know. I know that feeling of failure, but don't be so hard on yourself. Yes, it gets better if you address it. You'll feel better after you see the doc and they outline a treatment plan. Pm me if you want. Good luck!
lunyuny
by on Sep. 27, 2013 at 2:57 AM

Treatment is a long bumpy road.  I am experiencing it currently.  Its been 7 months and trials with one med or another.  Finally have found two to stick with and try. Yay!  Im here for support if needed.  Message me I am happy to be here for support.  Support is one of the biggest things to have on this long journey.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Sep. 27, 2013 at 3:09 AM

I agree.  Treatment can be hard until they find what will work for your particular chemistry.   I think less of people who do not seek help because they are too proud to admit something is wrong than people who will fight for their treatment to be able to function in their life productively.  Good luck to you and remember to be honest with whomever you talk to.   Hugs for your going through the grieving process at same time.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)