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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I'm feeling so guilty-anyone else feel this way?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 152 Replies
4 moms liked this
I try to do things with each of them. I try to be as fun with one as I am the other but my oldest always takes im so much closer to yds than i am ods. Yds is happy, easy going, cuddly and gentle and just- just as happy playing sock puppet monster as he is watching yo gabba gabba or reading a book on my lap. Ods has always been difficult. Serious. Almost stand offish with me. Even as a toddler. He does have behavior therapy and some other things going on, but ge ignores me pn purpose, he's rough and obstinant, argues about EVERYTHING. He's five. No matter how im playing with him, he takes things one step too far and ruins it. I feel awful because even though I love both my kids more than life itself, I often find that I don't like my oldest. I don't like his random, ear piercing screeches and how he ignores me on purpose and that even the scary woods in My Little Pony scared him, even though he's way too old to be scared of that.
I feel awful. Bash away.
-ETA- holy moly, this is the post that gets featured? Lol
You ladies have been wonderful. Thank you. Knowing that I'm not alone does make it a little less scary, less shameful.
He has been tested for autism and while he scored high on the ADOS testing, he isn't officially on the spectrum. He does have sensory processing disorder and probably add/adhd. He's independent and clingy at the same time. Lol we are for the time trying to work with routine and diet since he's so young.
He doesn't suspect that I favor yds' s personality and I find myself over correcting by spending extra time with ods or bringing him a special secret prize or something.
Every night, we lay together and tell stories or talk about what we're doing for the week or sometimes just cuddle and talk about WHY we have rules and how EVERYONE has sone kind of rules to follow.
Thank you all so much. It was a bad weekend but we started our day off great today. I'm going to work hard at having a great weeke with both boys!
And if not, anyone interested in a gently used 5 year old?
Posted by Anonymous on Sep. 29, 2013 at 11:51 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Sep. 29, 2013 at 11:55 PM
2 moms liked this
Apparently, mobile has decided to screw that whole thing up. Wonderful. :/
Eh. Questions, just ask. I'm wallowing in misery.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Sep. 29, 2013 at 11:56 PM
Sounds like a possible case of ODD
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Sep. 30, 2013 at 12:02 AM
1 mom liked this
From what I've read of odd, it's more extreme than what he shows. He's in behavioral therapy because of a processing disorder, but he's advanced academically. He tested high enough that they'd skip him a grade but he's behind socially.


Quoting Anonymous:

Sounds like a possible case of ODD

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Sep. 30, 2013 at 12:09 AM
2 moms liked this
No one? I'd even take someone calling me names.
areuserious554
by on Sep. 30, 2013 at 12:12 AM
5 moms liked this
I have 4 kids ages 2 to 18 . The oldest has mild cerebral palsy, the middle boy has ADD and the other 2 are just handfuls. Im blessed with all of them and I wouldnt trade um for 10 more. So I understand where your comming from. Sometimes children who have neuro issues which run the gambut from CP to Aspergers can be hypersensitive and feed off of our emotions or body language. Its hard dont take it personal because its not about that child intentionally picking on you or knowing what gets you. Remember that child needs you the most so be proactive with him not reactive dont wait for him to act up or give you a responce you think is appropriate they have a hard time with that you either get an over reaction or non at all. I found alot of consistency and disaplined structure helps the child and you the parent. You will feel better just try it and keep in mind this child needs your protection the most those kids are easy targets for abusers who tap into that disconnection you have with the child and dangerously fill that void as do gangs and other things
start now and have faith in yourself and your mom abilities to reach all your kids who you love so dearly and would anything for .
Your feelings are validated also so dont feel bad for having them but your mother instint needs to take over with this child dont feed him your emotions. Mothers and sons have a bond like no other. I hope that helps .
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Sep. 30, 2013 at 12:17 AM
2 moms liked this
I got nothing, can't even think of any names to call you.lol The fact that you are feeling guilty shows that you know there is an issue but as long as you continue working on it and doing the best that you can means you're on the right track.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Sep. 30, 2013 at 12:20 AM
I do have very consistent discipline, and I reward for every little thing he does that is awesome. I consistently give the same punishments for behavior that is unacceptable.
I do my very best to guard my emotions and I swear, he does know my buttons. Sometimes, totally independent of any diagnosis, he does stuff to get to me. I have had to walk away more than once for fear I'd be punishing out of a place of anger instead of love. He's made me cry a lot. Between lying to me, saying outright mean things, or doing things he KNOWS would be painful. I know he doesn't understand just how bad he physically hurts sometimes, but that doesn't make it okay.
You said that yours are difficult. But did you ever feel sooo much closer to one than the others?


Quoting areuserious554:

I have 4 kids ages 2 to 18 . The oldest has mild cerebral palsy, the middle boy has ADD and the other 2 are just handfuls. Im blessed with all of them and I wouldnt trade um for 10 more. So I understand where your comming from. Sometimes children who have neuro issues which run the gambut from CP to Aspergers can be hypersensitive and feed off of our emotions or body language. Its hard dont take it personal because its not about that child intentionally picking on you or knowing what gets you. Remember that child needs you the most so be proactive with him not reactive dont wait for him to act up or give you a responce you think is appropriate they have a hard time with that you either get an over reaction or non at all. I found alot of consistency and disaplined structure helps the child and you the parent. You will feel better just try it and keep in mind this child needs your protection the most those kids are easy targets for abusers who tap into that disconnection you have with the child and dangerously fill that void as do gangs and other things

start now and have faith in yourself and your mom abilities to reach all your kids who you love so dearly and would anything for .

Your feelings are validated also so dont feel bad for having them but your mother instint needs to take over with this child dont feed him your emotions. Mothers and sons have a bond like no other. I hope that helps .

JP-StrongForTwo
by on Sep. 30, 2013 at 12:24 AM
7 moms liked this

it sounds to me like a personality clash. you get along better with your youngest than your oldest. children have personalities too, and if you dont get along, you just dont get along. 

you love her. thats what matters. do your best, and make sure she knows you love her. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Sep. 30, 2013 at 12:28 AM
I don't like a kid more then the other but I do think my son is way more beautiful than my daughter so I can kinda relate to you. I do feel bad that I think that way. I think my daughter is so pretty. She looks just like me.but my son is a exotic beauty. I can't offer any advice since I feel guilty to. Good luck mama
lucyblue202
by Silver Member on Sep. 30, 2013 at 12:30 AM
4 moms liked this
It's normal to get frustrated with a difficult child. It just makes you human. Doesn't mean you don't love him just as much.
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