a kid was calling dd names on the playground...did I handle it wrongly?
dh is in a softball league in our area. so I go watch him every week and dd plays on the playground with all of her friends. there is this one little girl (about 10) who is always picking on dd7. she calls her names like brownie, poop face, dirt girl, and stupid mexican, (I am white btw and dh is hispanic so she does have a more brown skin tone). she is always speaking to her in gibberish (mimicking spanish) but dd speaks english only. I honestly can't help but to conclude that this is learned behaviour and it makes me sad.
Anyway, this happens every week at the softball games. the same girl is there, making fun of dd. she comes home crying every week. I always try to concil dd and ask her "are you stupid? a poop face? etc.." Of course she isn't. So I tell her, "if what she's is saying isn't true, don't worry about it."
Well this week, as with every other week, we went to the softball game to watch dh play. I decided to sit closer to the playground so I could possibly see/hear what was going on with the bullying. As expected the little girl once again started in on dd. I noticed that the other little girl's mom was standing nearby and could see and hear the entire thing. she said nothing to her daughter. So I walked over to her and explained to her that her daughter had been bullying mine since the beginning of the season. her response was that kids need to learn early that the world isn't all rainbows and unicorns and that perhaps I shouldn't shelter my kids so much. In a sense, I actually had been trying to allow dd to deal on her own. But things had just continued to get worse.
About the time she'd said this I noticed her daughter hitting mine...kind of picking at her and taunting her. So I walk over to the girls and explain to the bully that how she is treating dd is not nice. I ask her if she would be happy if someone were to treat her the same way. then I tell her that the next time she puts her hands on dd that dd has permission to knock her out. I then explained to her that the most important thing she could remember in life is that you should always treat people how you want them to treat you.
I'm not really sure if what I said will make a difference or not. Judging by her mom's response, she is fed hatred daily. But I have to hope that it will. In the meantime, dd will not be at the playgound again if I am not sitting close enough to see/hear what is going on. I honestly had no clue that things were as bad as they were.