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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

What do I do? **** added note

Posted by on Oct. 3, 2013 at 1:11 AM
  • 16 Replies
So my moms first husband is my biological father. Her second husband gave me three step brothers (I was barely a toddler when they married.) Who chose to stay with their step mom (my mom) when she kicked his butt out. And then husband number three has been around since I was 13 and I am now almost 29.

My SO has suddenly decided he is not okay with us not being married as we were told he couldn't adopt my dd if we aren't married. (She hasn't seen/spoken to her own father since she was three months old when he signed away his rights) we also have a dd together.

So here is the problem with all of this so far no problem situation. My bio father (who I didn't meet until I was 15 and have only seen 3 times since then) says he should walk me down the aisle and give me away, my step dad thinks he should (my mom agrees), and I want my step brother (much older and really the only male adult figure I have ever looked up to) to do it but everyone says it inappropriate.

So what do I do? What would you all do?

****added note: we also discussed having it be my son. While he can't adopt my son because his father does have rights I thought that would be a way to make him feel important in it all. And before anyone asks yes I have 3 kids with 3 different men. One of whom I was married to before in a secret court house wedding with no family present or party because my family forbid it. I should have listened.
by on Oct. 3, 2013 at 1:11 AM
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Replies (1-10):
The_Doodle
by Platinum Member on Oct. 3, 2013 at 1:13 AM
2 moms liked this

Do what you feel is right. It's your wedding, to hell with that they think you should do.

caligirl7613
by Platinum Member on Oct. 3, 2013 at 1:14 AM
ummmm its your wedding. yes i would try and find a way to incorporate each special man in your life somehow...but as fir who walks you down the aisle...well its YOUR wedding so it should be who you want...uncle..aunt...dog..child..whoever you feel comfortable with
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EyreFan
by on Oct. 3, 2013 at 1:15 AM

Elope.

When you get back, you can throw a big party without the weird family politics.

Newfie_Mom
by on Oct. 3, 2013 at 1:16 AM
Honestly the wedding itself isn't for me it's for my SO. It's important to him so I'm making it important to me. As far as I'm concerned we are already married but the law says we aren't and for the first time that's an issue.

Oh and I should add beyond my SO I'm my mothers only daughter and I wouldn't take the whole wedding day thing away from her.


Quoting The_Doodle:

Do what you feel is right. It's your wedding, to hell with that they think you should do.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Oct. 3, 2013 at 1:17 AM

It's your wedding, pick who you feel you want to, and screw family politics.

TranquilMind
by Ruby Member on Oct. 3, 2013 at 1:17 AM

 Congratulations on getting married.  And you do what YOU want.  You are an adult and you know who best fits the role for you.

Everyone else can simply be informed of your decision and you move on. 

Newfie_Mom
by on Oct. 3, 2013 at 1:18 AM
We thought about it but I'm my moms only daughter and he is his mothers only son. And it would break his grandmothers heart and I love her more than I do most of my own extended family.

Quoting EyreFan:

Elope.

When you get back, you can throw a big party without the weird family politics.

TableforSeven
by Platinum Member on Oct. 3, 2013 at 1:19 AM

YOUR wedding.....YOUR choice.  Doesn't matter what anyone wants but YOU!

averagemama0609
by Silver Member on Oct. 3, 2013 at 1:24 AM
1 mom liked this

Have your step brother do it.

Short_cake88
by Gold Member on Oct. 3, 2013 at 1:25 AM

One of my oldest brothers was married to a wonderful woman. Her father was never in the picture either. When she married my brother, her mom walked her down the aisle. Then her mother died of cancer, and my brother cheated on her so she left. When she met her now husband (who is amazing btw) she asked my dad to walk her down the aisle. It should be who YOU want it to be. Don't listen to anyone else. Ask your DF if your son can be a jr groomsman, like they have jr bridesmaids, and have your brother walk you.

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