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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Am I being selfish and mean?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 31 Replies

My DD is very ill and soon will have to start staying in a hospital weeks on end. The hospital is 1.5 hours from our home.

DH has a job offer out of state and I told him I'm ok with him going because he has been out of work a long time.

I asked DH to take my son with him. He has agreed while I work on getting DD healthy enough to move and travel. Him and my son will set up our new home.

Yes, DH isn't my sons real dad but he has taken care of the kids since they were 1 and 3 years old. 

We plan on doing guardianship papers and power of attorney stuff.

I was going over this one a friend of mine and she says I'm being selfish and mean to my son by shipping him off with DH. I am looking at this as DD will need so much attention and my time DS will be left out all the time. Without DH being here I'd be pulled a part wanting to be with my DD and DS.

Once DD is healthy enough to travel I'll call the movers and they'll pack us up and we'd join DH and DS.

Am I really being selfish and mean? What would you all do? An no, DH can't turn this job down nor can he ask them to hold the job. Timing sucks for this job offer but we need the income.

No, we do not get any state aid though DD will be getting SSI.


Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 3, 2013 at 9:07 PM
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Replies (1-10):
The.Last.Rebel
by Gold Member on Oct. 3, 2013 at 9:10 PM
2 moms liked this

No, I don't think so. Everyone is really sacrificing in this situation.

kameka
by Bronze Member on Oct. 3, 2013 at 9:10 PM
1 mom liked this
No, you are not. You are doing your best in a hard situation.
Do your son and husband get along? Could your friend just be mad that you're moving away?
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Oct. 3, 2013 at 9:13 PM
3 moms liked this

My friend and I don't even live in the same state. We'd be moving closer to her once all is done. Yes, my son and DH have a great relationship. An I think this would be a great bonding time for them as when DH isn't working they can go fishing, play video games and enjoy stuff together that us girls don't like.

Quoting kameka:

No, you are not. You are doing your best in a hard situation.
Do your son and husband get along? Could your friend just be mad that you're moving away?


Seagodess
by Platinum Member on Oct. 3, 2013 at 9:15 PM
1 mom liked this
I dont think your selfish. Your doing what's best for both of your kids.
quickbooksworm
by Ruby Member on Oct. 3, 2013 at 9:15 PM
1 mom liked this

No, you're not being selfish.  The whole situation isn't ideal, but when is it an ideal situation when a child is sick enough to be in the hospital like that?  The options are for him to stay and not work, so not an option IMO.  Option B is to keep both kids with you and either not spend much time with your daughter or not spend much time with your son, which isn't much of an option either.  At least both kids will get the attention they need from at least one parent.  It's temporary and it isn't like you're shipping your kid off so you can go party it up.

onaflowers
by Silver Member on Oct. 3, 2013 at 9:17 PM

How old are the kids now? I wouldn't do that personally, but I don't think it is selfish. What is wron with dd? Will she recover?

veggiemom474
by Bronze Member on Oct. 3, 2013 at 9:18 PM
1 mom liked this

Not at all, it's special daddy time.

bleumonster
by Ruby Member on Oct. 3, 2013 at 9:19 PM
I agree with this.


Quoting quickbooksworm:

No, you're not being selfish.  The whole situation isn't ideal, but when is it an ideal situation when a child is sick enough to be in the hospital like that?  The options are for him to stay and not work, so not an option IMO.  Option B is to keep both kids with you and either not spend much time with your daughter or not spend much time with your son, which isn't much of an option either.  At least both kids will get the attention they need from at least one parent.  It's temporary and it isn't like you're shipping your kid off so you can go party it up.


Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Oct. 3, 2013 at 9:22 PM

DD has cancer with treatment, surgery and therapy she should recover. Kids are DD is 11 and DS is 13. How would you handle it? DH needs to have a job he isn't working now and were about to go under if he doesn't get back to work.

Quoting onaflowers:

How old are the kids now? I wouldn't do that personally, but I don't think it is selfish. What is wron with dd? Will she recover?


Goddesswillow
by on Oct. 3, 2013 at 9:22 PM

your not being selfish, you are making the best out of a terrible situation. If anything it takes courage to be in that situation. Its not like your doing it for yourself

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