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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Got yelled at by a woman at Friendly's last night.

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DS earned enough points on his reward chart that he was able to pick out something to do. He picked going out to dinner and decided he wanted to go to Friendly's. So we get there and they're all decorated for Halloween. It was cute. Some of the decorations moved. There were these moaning ghosts that moved back and forth across this wire. They were activated by noise or movement...but usually they got them going by clapping. So the servers would do it for the kids when they were on their way to the table. We were seated right next to one of them. I didn't mind. DS made a big deal out of it, acting like he was scared, bc that's what he does for attention. Its obnoxious but we got him to knock it off.

Well, there was this bigger kid who was seated on the other side of the restaurant that seriously spent the entire time we were there clapping at the ghost by our table. It was really annoying. Every two minutes (I'm not exaggerating) he would clap and it would go off. Not only was the clapping annoying (not the decoration-his clapping) but he was in people's way! He bumped into our table numerous times and almost knocked over my soda, servers had to say "Excuse me" multiple times and he just kept clapping.

So I finally had enough and I said VERY NICELY "Hey honey. Why don't you go sit with your family for awhile? Maybe give some of the people who are coming in a chance to try the ghost."

Well, he very nicely said "Ok" and wandered back to his table and then about five minutes later I hear loud talking and this big woman comes over and starts yelling at me about how I was nasty to her kid and he has every right to play with the toys and if a white or hispanic kid was doing it (weird, right? Hispanic?) I'd be fine with it. So I'm just like "Look. They're not toys. They're decorations. They're not meant to be messed with constantly. I was nice. Please leave."

So she like left and then sat in the back and kept bitching about me and our server said she even asked that I be removed from the restaurant. The manager said that I hadn't really done anything to warrant being removed from the business lol. Then when she was walking out she made a point to cross and go over my way and breathe heavily and stare at me. I just smiled.

I mean, really. How ridiculous. She should have had enough common sense to not let her kid-who was at least 8 or 9-mess with that thing constantly. Even my five year old knows that when you're in a restaurant, you sit down.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Oct. 4, 2013 at 8:14 AM
Replies (131-140):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 23 on Oct. 4, 2013 at 11:53 PM
Rude people will be rude. Good for you for holding your own while being respectful.
shaynaj1980
by on Oct. 5, 2013 at 12:31 AM

I'm afraid you're mistaken. Courtesy and respect, while they COULD be used as synonyms, are not really very good synonyms. Look at the definitions:

Respect: (Noun) A feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements. (Verb) Admire (someone or something) deeply, as a result of their abilities, qualities, or achievements.

Courtesy: (Noun) 1. The showing of politeness in one's attitude and behaviour toward others; or 2. A polite speech or action, especially one required by convention.

More accurate synonyms for respect would be (nouns) regard, esteem, reverence, deference or consideration; and (verbs) honour/honor, esteem, regard, venerate or revere.

More accurate synonyms for courtesy would be politeness, civility, comity, urbanity or mannerliness.

When I use the words in this context, respect is an emotion, while courtesy is a behaviour.

I do not and will not require my children to respect anyone who has not earned their respect, but I will require them to show courtesy to all.

Quoting liltampa71:

Although we agreeing, I need to point out that is a distinction without a difference.  Respect and Courtesy are synonyms. (Thesaurous.com)


Quoting shaynaj1980:

It's not respect. It's courtesy. And you're right. A lot of parents don't teach their kids to have courtesy for others.


Quoting liltampa71:


I so agree.  One of my biggest pet peeve is that kids don't aren't taught to respect ALL adults.  Heck, they don't even respect their parents.  

Quoting Nicoleb9:

You better believe it! Adults in general had authority over children and children had a healthy respect for it, too. That's why they behaved everywhere they went. Now the parents think it's just fine for Johnny to annoy others, wreak havoc in public and basically act like a heathen, all while giving everyone who doesn't think it's cute the stink eye.


Quoting handy0318:

Wow... we've come a long way since I was a kid. When I was a kid, if somebody's kid was acting like that, any adult in the business could have given him a swat, told him to go sit his butt down and nobody would have batted an eye. 

No, I don't think any adult should ever lay a hand on another person's child, just remarking on how things have changed in the past 40+ years.

As far as it not being the OP's business... if he was bumping into their table and making it impossible for them to enjoy the meal they are paying good money for, then it's her business. I would have done the same thing and handled the mother in the same way. I think the OP handled the situation exactly right.










Anonymous
by Anonymous 24 on Oct. 5, 2013 at 1:23 AM

Yeah... That lady was stupid. My kids don't leave the table for anything but the bathroom when we go somewhere to eat.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 24 on Oct. 5, 2013 at 1:26 AM

Same here. Respect is earned, not given. But courtesy should be given to everyone, no matter how rude they are.

Quoting shaynaj1980:

I'm afraid you're mistaken. Courtesy and respect, while they COULD be used as synonyms, are not really very good synonyms. Look at the definitions:

Respect: (Noun) A feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements. (Verb) Admire (someone or something) deeply, as a result of their abilities, qualities, or achievements.

Courtesy: (Noun) 1. The showing of politeness in one's attitude and behaviour toward others; or 2. A polite speech or action, especially one required by convention.

More accurate synonyms for respect would be (nouns) regard, esteem, reverence, deference or consideration; and (verbs) honour/honor, esteem, regard, venerate or revere.

More accurate synonyms for courtesy would be politeness, civility, comity, urbanity or mannerliness.

When I use the words in this context, respect is an emotion, while courtesy is a behaviour.

I do not and will not require my children to respect anyone who has not earned their respect, but I will require them to show courtesy to all.

Quoting liltampa71:

Although we agreeing, I need to point out that is a distinction without a difference.  Respect and Courtesy are synonyms. (Thesaurous.com)


Quoting shaynaj1980:

It's not respect. It's courtesy. And you're right. A lot of parents don't teach their kids to have courtesy for others.


Quoting liltampa71:


I so agree.  One of my biggest pet peeve is that kids don't aren't taught to respect ALL adults.  Heck, they don't even respect their parents.  

Quoting Nicoleb9:

You better believe it! Adults in general had authority over children and children had a healthy respect for it, too. That's why they behaved everywhere they went. Now the parents think it's just fine for Johnny to annoy others, wreak havoc in public and basically act like a heathen, all while giving everyone who doesn't think it's cute the stink eye.


Quoting handy0318:

Wow... we've come a long way since I was a kid. When I was a kid, if somebody's kid was acting like that, any adult in the business could have given him a swat, told him to go sit his butt down and nobody would have batted an eye. 

No, I don't think any adult should ever lay a hand on another person's child, just remarking on how things have changed in the past 40+ years.

As far as it not being the OP's business... if he was bumping into their table and making it impossible for them to enjoy the meal they are paying good money for, then it's her business. I would have done the same thing and handled the mother in the same way. I think the OP handled the situation exactly right.











imandia4
by Gold Member on Oct. 5, 2013 at 1:29 AM

She didn't get the ice cream dude with the cone hat, did she? Bet you she wouldn't have been so grouchy if she did.

SissyAnn141
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Yesterday at 3:13 AM
by Gold Member on Oct. 5, 2013 at 1:53 AM

 

Quoting spooky415:

Thats what our server said. She said that she TOLD the kid to go over there bc someone had actually mentioned it to her already (one of the servers, I mean) bc he had bumped into someone carrying a tray.

Quoting alphamom26:

Lol, whatta nut job...She was just pissed she had to deal with her own child after the free babysitter got taken away.

 Running into servers, SHE "should have been a mother and control her child--- THEN !!!!!!!! ".

  Color of skin, is not the reason, I know "WHITE" moms, who are just as bad at controlling their children.

 




                                                  


                BOO !!!!!!!!!!!                                                        

Bellarose0212
by Gold Member on Oct. 5, 2013 at 4:15 AM

This really reminded me of a story from my childhood. I have no idea if it is applicable or not.

I was in school, in kindegarten. Someone's mom had come in to help with something. I could just tell she disliked me all day. I had this feeling of being disliked. At some point in the day, she gave me some sort of scolding in a very terse voice, but with a smile. I can't remember at all what she said or what it was about. I know the way she looked at me made me so upset. The look is burned into my memory. It's that look that you see the villain give in a movie where they are letting you know they have all the power and they really hate you despite their fake smile. As an adult now, I'm not comparing her to a villain or saying she was evil and out to get me, just trying to describe the look. 

So, by pick up time I was somehow balling and crying from this incident. It made me feel all kinds of upset.

My mom was frantic trying to figure out what was wrong with me and I wouldn't tell her for a long time. When I finally told her, I must have very much exaggerated the story. It  was much closer to being yelled at and treated poorly. I remember my mom's rants as we drove (somewhere? I assumed to this woman's house but idk how she would have known where that was, I need to ask for her version). Her general attitude was "how dare she!" I broke down on the car ride and explained my lie/exaggeration. I remember having to apologize to my whole family for the lie. 

Anyhow, it's possible that the kid made it seem like you were picking on him/very mean even if you said it with a smile. It's possible he experienced it negatively.

mishamama
by Platinum Member on Oct. 5, 2013 at 4:22 AM
This post made me sad.... there's no Friendly's in the northwest. :(
drowningmama
by vendetta on Oct. 5, 2013 at 4:35 AM

I dont think you did anything wrong but I would have told the server that way it was the establishments issue not yours.

Grnyann65
by on Oct. 5, 2013 at 8:30 AM
Right! You weren't at Chucky Cheese. A restaurant is not a play ground. It sounds like she ruined her own dinner. What a miserable, bitch.
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