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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Got yelled at by a woman at Friendly's last night.

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DS earned enough points on his reward chart that he was able to pick out something to do. He picked going out to dinner and decided he wanted to go to Friendly's. So we get there and they're all decorated for Halloween. It was cute. Some of the decorations moved. There were these moaning ghosts that moved back and forth across this wire. They were activated by noise or movement...but usually they got them going by clapping. So the servers would do it for the kids when they were on their way to the table. We were seated right next to one of them. I didn't mind. DS made a big deal out of it, acting like he was scared, bc that's what he does for attention. Its obnoxious but we got him to knock it off.

Well, there was this bigger kid who was seated on the other side of the restaurant that seriously spent the entire time we were there clapping at the ghost by our table. It was really annoying. Every two minutes (I'm not exaggerating) he would clap and it would go off. Not only was the clapping annoying (not the decoration-his clapping) but he was in people's way! He bumped into our table numerous times and almost knocked over my soda, servers had to say "Excuse me" multiple times and he just kept clapping.

So I finally had enough and I said VERY NICELY "Hey honey. Why don't you go sit with your family for awhile? Maybe give some of the people who are coming in a chance to try the ghost."

Well, he very nicely said "Ok" and wandered back to his table and then about five minutes later I hear loud talking and this big woman comes over and starts yelling at me about how I was nasty to her kid and he has every right to play with the toys and if a white or hispanic kid was doing it (weird, right? Hispanic?) I'd be fine with it. So I'm just like "Look. They're not toys. They're decorations. They're not meant to be messed with constantly. I was nice. Please leave."

So she like left and then sat in the back and kept bitching about me and our server said she even asked that I be removed from the restaurant. The manager said that I hadn't really done anything to warrant being removed from the business lol. Then when she was walking out she made a point to cross and go over my way and breathe heavily and stare at me. I just smiled.

I mean, really. How ridiculous. She should have had enough common sense to not let her kid-who was at least 8 or 9-mess with that thing constantly. Even my five year old knows that when you're in a restaurant, you sit down.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Oct. 4, 2013 at 8:14 AM
Replies (141-150):
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Oct. 5, 2013 at 8:49 AM
Idk why the hell that woman flipped on you and spouted off some ridiculous shit about race, but she should have had her child return his annoying ass back to his seat after the FIRST time he clapped to get the decorations moving. Yes, it's cool and amusing, but it is a restaurant. I would have been pissed if the kid bumped my table and almost spilled something. Idk if I would have spoken directly to the child, but I certainly would have got someone who worked there to tell that rude bitch to get her kid. You do not allow your children to roam about a restaurant acting a damn fool. It's rude and disrespectful to others who are present. I'm sure she saw he was in the way of servers and customers and just didn't care. Smh. She should have been kicked out of the restaurant for causing scene when she came up to your table flipping out.

As for the comments about how the servers shouldn't have been telling her what the woman was saying..who gives a shit!! It sounds like it busy there and the woman probably got on their nerves as well as the nerves of some of the other customers. I'd be talking about her too. As long as the servers weren't broadcasting what they were saying to the whole restaurant then who gives a fuck. I'm sure everyone was thrilled when she left lol. I bet she didn't leave a tip either.
liltampa71
by Platinum Member on Oct. 5, 2013 at 9:11 AM

It doesn't copy and paste will, but according to dictionary.com, definition 4, yes respect is part of courtsey.

Apparently we don't agree.  Parents who do not REQUIRE their children to respect adults - Themselves, grandparents, aunts, uncles teachers are a HUGE part of the problem.

Have you heard the statement treat someone with RESPECT.  So, again, either you want to nitpic, or it is a distinction without a difference.

Quoting shaynaj1980:

I'm afraid you're mistaken. Courtesy and respect, while they COULD be used as synonyms, are not really very good synonyms. Look at the definitions:

Respect: (Noun) A feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements. (Verb) Admire (someone or something) deeply, as a result of their abilities, qualities, or achievements.

Courtesy: (Noun) 1. The showing of politeness in one's attitude and behaviour toward others; or 2. A polite speech or action, especially one required by convention.

More accurate synonyms for respect would be (nouns) regard, esteem, reverence, deference or consideration; and (verbs) honour/honor, esteem, regard, venerate or revere.

More accurate synonyms for courtesy would be politeness, civility, comity, urbanity or mannerliness.

When I use the words in this context, respect is an emotion, while courtesy is a behaviour.

I do not and will not require my children to respect anyone who has not earned their respect, but I will require them to show courtesy to all.

Quoting liltampa71:

Although we agreeing, I need to point out that is a distinction without a difference.  Respect and Courtesy are synonyms. (Thesaurous.com)


Quoting shaynaj1980:

It's not respect. It's courtesy. And you're right. A lot of parents don't teach their kids to have courtesy for others.


Quoting liltampa71:


I so agree.  One of my biggest pet peeve is that kids don't aren't taught to respect ALL adults.  Heck, they don't even respect their parents.  

Quoting Nicoleb9:

You better believe it! Adults in general had authority over children and children had a healthy respect for it, too. That's why they behaved everywhere they went. Now the parents think it's just fine for Johnny to annoy others, wreak havoc in public and basically act like a heathen, all while giving everyone who doesn't think it's cute the stink eye.


Quoting handy0318:

Wow... we've come a long way since I was a kid. When I was a kid, if somebody's kid was acting like that, any adult in the business could have given him a swat, told him to go sit his butt down and nobody would have batted an eye. 

No, I don't think any adult should ever lay a hand on another person's child, just remarking on how things have changed in the past 40+ years.

As far as it not being the OP's business... if he was bumping into their table and making it impossible for them to enjoy the meal they are paying good money for, then it's her business. I would have done the same thing and handled the mother in the same way. I think the OP handled the situation exactly right.












iamcafemom83
by Ruby Member on Oct. 5, 2013 at 9:15 AM
I swear some women just let their kids do shit just so they can yell at thebpoor people who speak up and ask them to stop.
Ilaynasmommy
by Silver Member on Oct. 5, 2013 at 9:18 AM
Amen! I had a customer yesterday. She came in fine. Came up to the register with clothes, i rang them up, and she walked off to look at halloween decorations. . About that time my assistant came in and she got rude and obnoxious. I was showing her where things she looked for were. She looked at window clings and handed them to me to put back (walked away from them to me to have me put it back). Then immediately started making comments "you must hate me asking you to do that. Id hate someone doing it to me but its your job." I just went into telling my assistant what needed to be done because i could tell she was trying to bait me.

At the register, i continued ringing herup. She asked how much a skeleton was i priced it and told her. She laid it on her other stuff and then got mad bc i rang it up. She wanted another "waitress" and insulted me and my looks. Oh and it was 12am and she smelled like straight booze.


Quoting Anonymous:

lol what a crazy lady....there all over it seems I had a lady cuss me out in the parking lot at the grocery store last week because she walked out from behind a pillar without looking.. Yes it was  a cross walk and I was already slowing down because I was turning into that row.  But you couldn't see her clearly at first.. I stopped fully before I entered the crosswalk her hubby was following and he even passed safely before I proceeded.. Shes cussing and yelling at me about pedestrians having the right away.... I had my window down and I asked her did you cross the street without me hitting you? Am I still behind the line of the crosswalk? Then wtf are you bitching about having the right away doesn't give you the right of way to scream at other customers now move along and stop embarrassing yourself... She just stood there dumbfounded that I had the nerve to stand up to her BS... Her hubby was behind her pushing the cart smiling from ear to ear... I wasn't as nice as you were but I didn't have my kids with me either lol..  If I had my kids with me I would have probably ignored her or asked her to kindly stop swearing infront of my kids over nothing.. Some people are just miserable people and should stay home if they cant be polite in public.


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
shaynaj1980
by on Oct. 5, 2013 at 11:54 AM

No, parents who don't REQUIRE their children to treat people kindly is the problem. And yes, I have heard the statement "treat someone with respect" and it's incorrect. "Treat everyone with courtesy" is far more accurate. You are saying it's a distinction without a difference, and there is a big difference between the two. Again, respect is an emotion, courtesy is a behaviour. 

By the way, every time I've ever heard "treat someone with respect", it's always been screamed at a child who mouthed off to an adult who was belittling or bullying them in some way. That adult deserves no courtesy or respect from anyone. And I sure as hell will NOT teach my children to allow themselves to be abused by anyone, including their parents and grandparents.

I'm treating you with courtesy right now, but I sure as heck don't respect you because I don't know you from Eve.

Quoting liltampa71:

It doesn't copy and paste will, but according to dictionary.com, definition 4, yes respect is part of courtsey.

Apparently we don't agree.  Parents who do not REQUIRE their children to respect adults - Themselves, grandparents, aunts, uncles teachers are a HUGE part of the problem.

Have you heard the statement treat someone with RESPECT.  So, again, either you want to nitpic, or it is a distinction without a difference.

Quoting shaynaj1980:

I'm afraid you're mistaken. Courtesy and respect, while they COULD be used as synonyms, are not really very good synonyms. Look at the definitions:

Respect: (Noun) A feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements. (Verb) Admire (someone or something) deeply, as a result of their abilities, qualities, or achievements.

Courtesy: (Noun) 1. The showing of politeness in one's attitude and behaviour toward others; or 2. A polite speech or action, especially one required by convention.

More accurate synonyms for respect would be (nouns) regard, esteem, reverence, deference or consideration; and (verbs) honour/honor, esteem, regard, venerate or revere.

More accurate synonyms for courtesy would be politeness, civility, comity, urbanity or mannerliness.

When I use the words in this context, respect is an emotion, while courtesy is a behaviour.

I do not and will not require my children to respect anyone who has not earned their respect, but I will require them to show courtesy to all.

Quoting liltampa71:

Although we agreeing, I need to point out that is a distinction without a difference.  Respect and Courtesy are synonyms. (Thesaurous.com)


Quoting shaynaj1980:

It's not respect. It's courtesy. And you're right. A lot of parents don't teach their kids to have courtesy for others.


Quoting liltampa71:


I so agree.  One of my biggest pet peeve is that kids don't aren't taught to respect ALL adults.  Heck, they don't even respect their parents.  

Quoting Nicoleb9:

You better believe it! Adults in general had authority over children and children had a healthy respect for it, too. That's why they behaved everywhere they went. Now the parents think it's just fine for Johnny to annoy others, wreak havoc in public and basically act like a heathen, all while giving everyone who doesn't think it's cute the stink eye.


Quoting handy0318:

Wow... we've come a long way since I was a kid. When I was a kid, if somebody's kid was acting like that, any adult in the business could have given him a swat, told him to go sit his butt down and nobody would have batted an eye. 

No, I don't think any adult should ever lay a hand on another person's child, just remarking on how things have changed in the past 40+ years.

As far as it not being the OP's business... if he was bumping into their table and making it impossible for them to enjoy the meal they are paying good money for, then it's her business. I would have done the same thing and handled the mother in the same way. I think the OP handled the situation exactly right.














shaynaj1980
by on Oct. 5, 2013 at 11:57 AM

I'm glad someone understands what I'm trying to say.

My only disagreement with your statement is that I don't believe that people who are being INTENTIONALLY rude need be shown courtesy. People should always be given courtesy of doubt because most people are kind and considerate, we're simply human and make mistakes. People who are always rude and inappropriate should be shut down and put in their place as far as I'm concerned, especially when their behaviour is harmful to others.


Quoting Anonymous:

Same here. Respect is earned, not given. But courtesy should be given to everyone, no matter how rude they are.

Quoting shaynaj1980:

I'm afraid you're mistaken. Courtesy and respect, while they COULD be used as synonyms, are not really very good synonyms. Look at the definitions:

Respect: (Noun) A feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements. (Verb) Admire (someone or something) deeply, as a result of their abilities, qualities, or achievements.

Courtesy: (Noun) 1. The showing of politeness in one's attitude and behaviour toward others; or 2. A polite speech or action, especially one required by convention.

More accurate synonyms for respect would be (nouns) regard, esteem, reverence, deference or consideration; and (verbs) honour/honor, esteem, regard, venerate or revere.

More accurate synonyms for courtesy would be politeness, civility, comity, urbanity or mannerliness.

When I use the words in this context, respect is an emotion, while courtesy is a behaviour.

I do not and will not require my children to respect anyone who has not earned their respect, but I will require them to show courtesy to all.

Quoting liltampa71:

Although we agreeing, I need to point out that is a distinction without a difference.  Respect and Courtesy are synonyms. (Thesaurous.com)


Quoting shaynaj1980:

It's not respect. It's courtesy. And you're right. A lot of parents don't teach their kids to have courtesy for others.


Quoting liltampa71:


I so agree.  One of my biggest pet peeve is that kids don't aren't taught to respect ALL adults.  Heck, they don't even respect their parents.  

Quoting Nicoleb9:

You better believe it! Adults in general had authority over children and children had a healthy respect for it, too. That's why they behaved everywhere they went. Now the parents think it's just fine for Johnny to annoy others, wreak havoc in public and basically act like a heathen, all while giving everyone who doesn't think it's cute the stink eye.


Quoting handy0318:

Wow... we've come a long way since I was a kid. When I was a kid, if somebody's kid was acting like that, any adult in the business could have given him a swat, told him to go sit his butt down and nobody would have batted an eye. 

No, I don't think any adult should ever lay a hand on another person's child, just remarking on how things have changed in the past 40+ years.

As far as it not being the OP's business... if he was bumping into their table and making it impossible for them to enjoy the meal they are paying good money for, then it's her business. I would have done the same thing and handled the mother in the same way. I think the OP handled the situation exactly right.













liltampa71
by Platinum Member on Oct. 5, 2013 at 11:58 AM


Well, I will trust your definition more than Webster then..  (Or not).  Because one of the examples THEY use is "You will treat me with respect."   I guess the oldest dictionary in the US is wrong and you are correct.

Now, because I want to treat YOU with respect, and I'm bordering on not, I'm not splitting this hair anymore.

Quoting shaynaj1980:

No, parents who don't REQUIRE their children to treat people kindly is the problem. And yes, I have heard the statement "treat someone with respect" and it's incorrect. "Treat everyone with courtesy" is far more accurate. You are saying it's a distinction without a difference, and there is a big difference between the two. Again, respect is an emotion, courtesy is a behaviour. 

By the way, every time I've ever heard "treat someone with respect", it's always been screamed at a child who mouthed off to an adult who was belittling or bullying them in some way. That adult deserves no courtesy or respect from anyone. And I sure as hell will NOT teach my children to allow themselves to be abused by anyone, including their parents and grandparents.

I'm treating you with courtesy right now, but I sure as heck don't respect you because I don't know you from Eve.

Quoting liltampa71:

It doesn't copy and paste will, but according to dictionary.com, definition 4, yes respect is part of courtsey.

Apparently we don't agree.  Parents who do not REQUIRE their children to respect adults - Themselves, grandparents, aunts, uncles teachers are a HUGE part of the problem.

Have you heard the statement treat someone with RESPECT.  So, again, either you want to nitpic, or it is a distinction without a difference.

Quoting shaynaj1980:

I'm afraid you're mistaken. Courtesy and respect, while they COULD be used as synonyms, are not really very good synonyms. Look at the definitions:

Respect: (Noun) A feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements. (Verb) Admire (someone or something) deeply, as a result of their abilities, qualities, or achievements.

Courtesy: (Noun) 1. The showing of politeness in one's attitude and behaviour toward others; or 2. A polite speech or action, especially one required by convention.

More accurate synonyms for respect would be (nouns) regard, esteem, reverence, deference or consideration; and (verbs) honour/honor, esteem, regard, venerate or revere.

More accurate synonyms for courtesy would be politeness, civility, comity, urbanity or mannerliness.

When I use the words in this context, respect is an emotion, while courtesy is a behaviour.

I do not and will not require my children to respect anyone who has not earned their respect, but I will require them to show courtesy to all.

Quoting liltampa71:

Although we agreeing, I need to point out that is a distinction without a difference.  Respect and Courtesy are synonyms. (Thesaurous.com)


Quoting shaynaj1980:

It's not respect. It's courtesy. And you're right. A lot of parents don't teach their kids to have courtesy for others.


Quoting liltampa71:


I so agree.  One of my biggest pet peeve is that kids don't aren't taught to respect ALL adults.  Heck, they don't even respect their parents.  

Quoting Nicoleb9:

You better believe it! Adults in general had authority over children and children had a healthy respect for it, too. That's why they behaved everywhere they went. Now the parents think it's just fine for Johnny to annoy others, wreak havoc in public and basically act like a heathen, all while giving everyone who doesn't think it's cute the stink eye.


Quoting handy0318:

Wow... we've come a long way since I was a kid. When I was a kid, if somebody's kid was acting like that, any adult in the business could have given him a swat, told him to go sit his butt down and nobody would have batted an eye. 

No, I don't think any adult should ever lay a hand on another person's child, just remarking on how things have changed in the past 40+ years.

As far as it not being the OP's business... if he was bumping into their table and making it impossible for them to enjoy the meal they are paying good money for, then it's her business. I would have done the same thing and handled the mother in the same way. I think the OP handled the situation exactly right.
















hello_kitty25
by Platinum Member on Oct. 5, 2013 at 1:12 PM
Rude!!
Jadesmommy13
by Bronze Member on Oct. 5, 2013 at 1:15 PM
She let her ghetto show! I wouldn't have been so nice!
Dreamly
by on Oct. 5, 2013 at 1:37 PM

Wow, some people/ That's why kids are the way they are these days. 

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