Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Entitlement... ***Controversy Alert***

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 76 Replies
13 moms liked this

Controversy Alert: I just scrolled past a post on my Facebook newsfeed and while I was compelled to respond to the post, I thought better of it, due to the sensitive nature and the hormones involved. So instead, I will just repost the content, and my thoughts about it here. So here is the post:

"The thought of going back to work and leaving my baby has me feeling absolutely ill. I'm getting desperate! I want to get in the car and drive away with her so nobody can find me and we can stay together. I think it's just cruel that mommies can't stay home and raise their babies like we are supposed to. The government is handing out tons of $ to people who don't need/deserve it, yet there is nothing in place to help establish a good foundation for our children and help hard working GOOD moms stay home with their babies for longer than 12 weeks. It feels like someone's pulling my guts out and I haven't even left her yet. ~Commenter: I agree! Why can't we be like European country's that allow mothers to stay home for two years or more! FMLA is a joke!"

Let me preface with this: I AM A MOM. I have 3 children. OK, moving on. I do not at all understand entitlement. Entitlement of any kind. I understand and have every desire to help the truly helpless. I believe in caring for the sick, the elderly, the disabled. I believe in social programs to give a boost to someone to get back on their feet so they can support themselves. However, what I see here is just a continuation of a total entitlement mentality. I decided to have children because I wanted them, I cannot afford to stay at home, therefore, it's the government's responsibility to make it so I can stay home. Take money away from the people who don't deserve it (I guess she is referring to those on other entitlement programs...) so they can fund MY entitlement program.

Newsflash: No one said you had to have children. No one made you have them at that particular point in your life. Is it your "right" to have children, should you want them? Absolutely! But along with that right, is the right to support yourself and them. Please, someone help me understand how we turned into a nation of entitled people. It boggles my mind beyond concise words, how anyone (not just her) can possibly TRULY believe that others (government and tax payers) are responsible for funding their personal decisions.

My friends, if you can't afford kids, don't get pregnant. Sure accidents happen. And there are resources in place for the hardship of such a thing. Boyfriends leave pregnant girlfriends, leaving them alone to carry the weight. There are available resources. But at some point, you have to suck up some poor decisions, or imperfect life situations and get on with life the best way you can. As is, our government won't let your children, or you, starve. But damn, for someone to go so far as to say that since we chose to have kids, our government owes us the right to stay home with them "like we should" makes my skin crawl. If one felt that home is where they should stay once they have kids, one should make provisions for that reality prior to having kids.

I am sure this will piss some people off, and some will think I am cold hearted. I just believe in personal accountability in all situations. Or maybe we could just raise the debt ceiling and let all reproducing women stay home.

Vent over... for now. :)

Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 4, 2013 at 4:58 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
ElitestJen
by on Oct. 4, 2013 at 5:01 PM
18 moms liked this

I agree with you.  I would've said, "The USA allows you to stay home as long as you like.  They just don't pay you for the privilege."

twade26
by on Oct. 4, 2013 at 5:03 PM

I agree.

mem82
by Platinum Member on Oct. 4, 2013 at 5:04 PM
7 moms liked this

Maybe the woman didn't realize how attached to the baby she would be and how hard it would be to go back to work? Some people are blind sided by the maternal instincts. She isn't on PA now, she just seems like she is venting.

hautemama83
by Emerald Member on Oct. 4, 2013 at 5:06 PM
3 moms liked this
Ok...I cheated and didn't read your entire post. But I get the gist. So I'll say in short, if you want to stay home with your child, PLAN FOR IT.
qslaqhay
by Silver Member on Oct. 4, 2013 at 5:08 PM
I couldnt agree more!!
meaganmac
by Gold Member on Oct. 4, 2013 at 5:08 PM
14 moms liked this
I live in Canada where we pay into employment insurance and can take up to 52 weeks maternity/paternity leave at about 60% of our wage. To me, going back to work at 12 weeks is insane.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Oct. 4, 2013 at 5:09 PM
2 moms liked this
She should've had the baby with a wealthier man.
LilliesValley
by on Oct. 4, 2013 at 5:10 PM
8 moms liked this

I don't think wishing the government would restructure something or laws to handle kids coming into the world is a bad thing. I don't even equate it with entitlement. voting for people could be interpreted as entitlement at times throughout history. So shrugs on that. I think FMLA is a joke and that we do need real changes in laws in this country. I don't think that necessarily means a hand out. But people do need to realize that European countries that do these things pay a fuck lot more in taxes than we do as well. So every up has it's down. It's not like they give out a year of maternity leave paid and then nothing else. Everyone is paying in to and for that. But that doesn't mean change shouldn't happen, it just needs to be thought through more by apparently the folks on FB. I would like to see a change in our laws with regards to family time after a baby is born or adopted bc I think we are really doing families a disservice. I think there could be lots of social and health benefits, but I think it's crazy to just assume that Europeans aren't giving up something (AKA money in the form of taxes) to get those benefits. All benefits cost something, but op I don't see it as necessarily entitlement, I just see it as frustrated people wanting change.

Nicoleb9
by Emerald Member on Oct. 4, 2013 at 5:11 PM
You know what country you live in and know what the rules are in that country.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
xomrs.chase
by on Oct. 4, 2013 at 5:11 PM
Agree.
I'm a sahm- but if our financial situation changed I'd go back to work!


Quoting ElitestJen:

I agree with you.  I would've said, "The USA allows you to stay home as long as you like.  They just don't pay you for the privilege."

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN