I don't want his daughter in my wedding. We came up with a solution..
I think we came up with a good compromise. My SD is going to stand at the door and greet people, she will direct people where to put any gifts. During the reception she is going to stand at the guestbook and make sure people sign it. My daughter can stand beside her if she wants to but I am not going to make her.
For those who say this marriage won't last, STFU. He just sprung this on me last night. I was panicking because it is really to late to change anything with the wedding. I have 2 bridesmaid and my maid of honor. All dresses have been ordered. It would be to late to get her a dress that matches. We have been together nearly 3 years and this is our first real hurdle. We love each other very much and plan to make this family work.
I don't want DF's daughter to be in my wedding. She is a 10 year old drama queen. Everything has to be about her all the time. My fiance is insisting I put her in my wedding party and I don't want to. I'm not even putting my own daughter, also 10 in my wedding so why should I put future SD in? She can sit out with the rest of the audience. Sorry just needed to vent.
*more info* My daughter doesn't want to be in the wedding. She's really shy and doesn't like to have a lot of people looking at her. His daughter does but only because she likes to cause drama and she asked him if she could be. It is a smallish wedding but I already had my bridesmaids picked out. The wedding is in December. Not a lot of time for changes. I never said I didn't like his daughter. I just said she was s drama queen.
EDIT Ok well I am going to sleep on it and see what I can come up with. I'll talk to DF and STBSD tomorrow. Maybe we can come up with something. I would welcome more suggestions if you have any.
Just want to add one thing before I go to bed. I did not ask my daughter to be in the wedding. She asked me if she had to be and I told her no. She approached me with it, not the other way around.