Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

am i baby crazy?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 50 Replies
1 mom liked this

 

Poll

Question: if you were me you would . . .

Options:

have kids 2 years 9 months apart

have kids 3 years 6 months apart

have kids even further apart.


Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 41

View Results

No bashing me for asking for cafemom advice please. Of course I'm not using cafemom advice to substitute for talking to DH. But I'm a verbal processor and I like to hear what worked for other moms b/c we women are the ones that are pregnant. (And I had a rough pregnancy last time and am projected to have another rough one this time.)

So DH got back this summer from a year long deployment and started in on a pretty intense job a few weeks back. He works about 50 to 60 hours a week. Our ds is 21 months old. We've agreed to have two kids and that I'll be a SAHM until the youngest is in kindergarten. So for me kids closer together means I can get back to work sooner, which would be nice. Also I like the idea of kids close enough in age to play together and to do family activities together. (Like I imagine it's a lot harder to take an 8 year old and a 3 year old camping than a 8 year old and a 6 year old).  So anyway we don't want another winter baby (b/c of sickness and b/c then I'd have to wait even longer until they are school age).

So our options are get pregnant in a few months and kiddos would be 2 year 9 months apart, or get pregnant fall of next year and kids would be 3 years and 6 months apart.


What would you do spacing wise? (Oh and fertility is no issue with spacing; well except for worrying about an oops baby.)


Please no dissing about how i should just go back to work before they are school age, b/c that just isn't possible in our circumstances for a multitude of reasons.


Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 5, 2013 at 1:28 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 5, 2013 at 1:33 AM

bump for advice

LiDoMama
by Gold Member on Oct. 5, 2013 at 1:36 AM

well I think this one really is best solved by looking at your own personality. 

I think both are pretty do-able, the differences between the two are only about 9 months, so it isn't a huge difference like having kids 10 years apart. *not that there is anything wrong with that. They are both somewhat close age gaps. I say that because I have two sets of back to back kids with a four year gap between the two sets. But I like having the very close spacing, I like the idea of getting my childbearing, baby/toddler years out of the way. Hence why I think it really depends on your personality. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 5, 2013 at 1:38 AM

really good thoughts about the pros and cons being my personality. I also like to get things out of the way. Hmm... Though i do tend to bite off more than i can chew at times and then get stressed out and not handle stuff as well.


Quoting LiDoMama:

well I think this one really is best solved by looking at your own personality. 

I think both are pretty do-able, the differences between the two are only about 9 months, so it isn't a huge difference like having kids 10 years apart. *not that there is anything wrong with that. They are both somewhat close age gaps. I say that because I have two sets of back to back kids with a four year gap between the two sets. But I like having the very close spacing, I like the idea of getting my childbearing, baby/toddler years out of the way. Hence why I think it really depends on your personality. 



Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Oct. 5, 2013 at 1:46 AM

My oldest two are 18 months apart.  It was hard because we were overseas and had no friends.  We BOTH were in the military, with my dh on TDY and deployed most of the year.  Now, they are 15 and 14.  Our youngest is 7.  Just like any family, you adjust and make do with your circumstances.  If you feel you can handle it, do it.

LiDoMama
by Gold Member on Oct. 5, 2013 at 1:48 AM
I definitely understand the concern of being over stressed. Personally, I don't think having kids slightly under three years apart would be as stressful as say, having kids less than 18 months apart. I could tell you all about that, lol. One thing you could use as a way to help you make your decision is to consider where your DS is at developmentally. Is he potty trained? If not, do you think he will be by the time he is 2 years 9 months? Would you mind having two in diapers, or do you think you would be fine with it? What about preschool? Do you intend to send DS there at age 3? If so, do you think you'd prefer to wait until he's over 3 for that reason, so you could have some one on one time with your baby? Those are just some questions for starters that I think might help you make your decision. Consider making a pro and con list, or maybe just a mental one. It sounds odd but it could help you with your decision.
Quoting Anonymous:

really good thoughts about the pros and cons being my personality. I also like to get things out of the way. Hmm... Though i do tend to bite off more than i can chew at times and then get stressed out and not handle stuff as well.


Quoting LiDoMama:

well I think this one really is best solved by looking at your own personality. 

I think both are pretty do-able, the differences between the two are only about 9 months, so it isn't a huge difference like having kids 10 years apart. *not that there is anything wrong with that. They are both somewhat close age gaps. I say that because I have two sets of back to back kids with a four year gap between the two sets. But I like having the very close spacing, I like the idea of getting my childbearing, baby/toddler years out of the way. Hence why I think it really depends on your personality. 



Kristanna
by Gold Member on Oct. 5, 2013 at 1:52 AM

My girls are about 2 years a part and it's absolutely perfect spacing imo. They are the best of friends. They literally do everything together, it's pretty awesome with them being so close.

That being said, they are 8 and 6 and I am 6 months pregnant with our third and last. The girls will be almost 9 and 7 when he is born. I am a little worried about him being lonely or left out, since not only are they so much older, but so close.

Blueliner
by Platinum Member on Oct. 5, 2013 at 2:29 AM

My kids are 2 year 8 months apart and 2 years 4 months apart. It's nice because theplay all the time, spaced just enough to not have2 in diapers, and I'm happy to be done having kids sooner. It can be challanging too, I can't imagine having them closer in age personally, and I wouldn't want more that 3 years between them either. So yeah, I think for me a 2.5 year gap works.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Oct. 5, 2013 at 2:43 AM
My kids are 3 years 7 months, 1 year 10 months, 1 year 6 months, 3 days short of 2 years (oldest is July 7th, younger is July 4th) and 5 years 1 month.

The ones closer in age were SOO much easier than the last one because she is so much younger than the others and she feels left out. They are currently 20,17,15,14,12 and 6.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 5, 2013 at 9:57 AM

hmm good thoughts about the long term benefits. And thank you everyone for your kind replies!


Quoting Blueliner:

My kids are 2 year 8 months apart and 2 years 4 months apart. It's nice because theplay all the time, spaced just enough to not have2 in diapers, and I'm happy to be done having kids sooner. It can be challanging too, I can't imagine having them closer in age personally, and I wouldn't want more that 3 years between them either. So yeah, I think for me a 2.5 year gap works.



Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 5, 2013 at 10:04 AM


wow, i bet that was crazyness. BTW how do you like the longer gap for the third and may i ask if it was intentional? DH and i used to talk about have a 3rd one a long while behind, but then started thinking it would be too many years of parenting.

Quoting Anonymous:

My oldest two are 18 months apart.  It was hard because we were overseas and had no friends.  We BOTH were in the military, with my dh on TDY and deployed most of the year.  Now, they are 15 and 14.  Our youngest is 7.  Just like any family, you adjust and make do with your circumstances.  If you feel you can handle it, do it.



Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN