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Is sex important in a marriage?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 21 Replies
1 mom liked this

On another post a mom said she was depressed and not having sex with her DH and he got angry and said they need to have sex or get a divorce.  I saw comments that were enraged that he thinks sex is more important than her feelings.  I was thinking about it though.  How many of you women think that your DH only wants sex because it feels good and no other reason?  How many would be upset or pissed if he said something like that and think that he only wants to fuck?  I have been on the other side of the coin.  In no way am I a nympho.  But my husband went through a time of depression.  He did not want to be touched, he didn't want sex.  I was understanding.  Then I was sad that we were not being close and intimate.  Then I was just pissed off because it seemed like he didn't care enough about me to get help so he could be intimate with me again.  I totally understand her husbands side.  And I know it is thought that women are more emotional so you are probably thinking Well she just wanted to be close.  No.  I wanted that bond from having sex as well.  I could get myself off all I wanted.  But that got old.  I wanted to have that feeling with my husband, and to give him those feelings as well.  I ended up blowing up at him, and even left for a few weeks.  


He did finally get the help he needed.  And when talking about it to our marriage counselor after the counselor told me that even men that are going through it with their wives feel the same as I did.  The depressed wife feels that the husband only wants her to suck it up and stop moping so he can fuck someone.  But that is not true.  That husbands want the same closeness and intimacy as we do and how much more close can you get than through having sex?  So they go through the same things as I did, the trying to help, the sadness, the feeling sorry for themselves, the anger.  Just because you think that sex is just a way to get off to men, that is not true.  Especially in a long term relationship.  If he just wanted to cum then he would not be married to you and would be getting off with as many women as possible.  

Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 5, 2013 at 2:11 PM
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Replies (1-10):
katcb1019
by Silver Member on Oct. 5, 2013 at 2:13 PM
I agree. Sex in a marriage is more about the intimacy factor than just physical pleasure.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
at-you
by on Oct. 5, 2013 at 2:14 PM
Sex is absolutely important in a marriage.


No doubt about it.
Sunshine2plus2
by Platinum Member on Oct. 5, 2013 at 2:15 PM


Quoting katcb1019:

I agree. Sex in a marriage is more about the intimacy factor than just physical pleasure.
anotherhalf
by on Oct. 5, 2013 at 2:17 PM
I totally agree. I couldn't live in a sexless marriage unless he was physically injured preventing sex.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Oct. 5, 2013 at 2:17 PM
I think intimacy is important. Not necessarily sex.

I don't understand how people can say sex is oh so important when sex drastically declines with age; most older couples aren't haven't consistant sex, and they can be perfectly happy.
Snapdragon88
by Platinum Member on Oct. 5, 2013 at 2:20 PM
AGREED.
Mychele
by Ruby Member on Oct. 5, 2013 at 2:20 PM
It's important.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 5, 2013 at 2:22 PM

Usually with an older couple the sex drive depletes around the same level at the same time.  So cuddling is great because they are both older and don't want it as much, lol. But for a younger couple it is understandable that you have a sex drive, and sex is linked to intimacy.  And for men they do somewhat think that intimacy is more of a sex thing while women tend to think cuddling is.  Either way, if you are not compatible in that way then you can't say that him wanting sex is bad yet you want him to cuddle with you or he doesn't love you.  Because that is how he feels about sex.  Most of the time, sometimes it is the other way around like in my case.


Quoting Anonymous:

I think intimacy is important. Not necessarily sex.

I don't understand how people can say sex is oh so important when sex drastically declines with age; most older couples aren't haven't consistant sex, and they can be perfectly happy.



2girlsandadream
by on Oct. 5, 2013 at 2:22 PM
I totally agree!!
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Oct. 5, 2013 at 2:22 PM
Ok I didn't read all that. Yes sex is important. That doesn't mean you have to always give it up. Everyone's feelings are important and if sex isn't happening the root of that problem needs to be sought and fixed. It's not just about the sex by any means. The lack if sex is a symptom of some other problem.
Now if neither person cares or wants sex no that's not an issue.
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