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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Where's the line with stepkids?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 141 Replies
2 moms liked this
Honestly, I am not married to this guy. We've been together for four years. He has a daughter.

I am going to throw a party for my son's birthday. It will be his first non-family party. I'm planning on inviting his class plus about 30-40 kids that I know will attend. (Close friends from daycare, the kids in the family, and our close knit baseball team.)

Her birthday is two weeks before his. While I love her, she is not mine. Her mom typically throws her parties to which BF will pay half.

I know the party I am planning is going to be different. Every party is different, but this is a bit better. I have really taken the time to find a fun place, bought lots of discount favors, decorations, etc....

Is that wrong? I'm worried she will be hurt. The offer has always been there for her, I just never wanted to step on anyone's toes.
Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 5, 2013 at 11:13 PM
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Replies (1-10):
carolyntx
by Gold Member on Oct. 5, 2013 at 11:18 PM
10 moms liked this
No... Not if mom is throwing a party and yall help finance it. If she speaks up tell her yall can plan something for her next birthday
laranadtony
by Ruby Member on Oct. 5, 2013 at 11:19 PM
2 moms liked this

Talk to mom. It is ok to do things in love whether it be discipline or a party but talk to mom first so she feels included.

paulswifey11
by TashaL on Oct. 5, 2013 at 11:20 PM
1 mom liked this
Ask her and if she doesn't agree then if bf agrees do separate parties
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Oct. 5, 2013 at 11:22 PM

Can you plan something special for SD, not as a party, but so she has a tangible "extra" as well? Kid feelings can be tricky. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Oct. 5, 2013 at 11:23 PM
We have always been odd in our relationship with money. We split rent and utilities 50/50 but other than that split, we have separate money.

What I am most concerned about is BM or stepdaughter will think he helped fund it.


Quoting carolyntx:

No... Not if mom is throwing a party and yall help finance it. If she speaks up tell her yall can plan something for her next birthday

Bonnie_
by Gold Member on Oct. 5, 2013 at 11:23 PM
1 mom liked this

No...  it is  better  that her  mom  throw her  party.   I don't  know why   people  think the kids  NEED two parties. 

You  could  give  her a small gift and a card.

carolyntx
by Gold Member on Oct. 5, 2013 at 11:24 PM
2 moms liked this
Well that's none of their business really, but if they ask its at your discretion how much of your personal financial info to share there. How old is SD?

Quoting Anonymous:

We have always been odd in our relationship with money. We split rent and utilities 50/50 but other than that split, we have separate money.



What I am most concerned about is BM or stepdaughter will think he helped fund it.




Quoting carolyntx:

No... Not if mom is throwing a party and yall help finance it. If she speaks up tell her yall can plan something for her next birthday

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Oct. 5, 2013 at 11:24 PM
1 mom liked this
I am allowing her to invite three friends to go.


Quoting Anonymous:

Can you plan something special for SD, not as a party, but so she has a tangible "extra" as well? Kid feelings can be tricky. 


camocountrymom
by on Oct. 5, 2013 at 11:25 PM
1 mom liked this
Well isn't that his kid too?


Quoting Anonymous:

We have always been odd in our relationship with money. We split rent and utilities 50/50 but other than that split, we have separate money.



What I am most concerned about is BM or stepdaughter will think he helped fund it.




Quoting carolyntx:

No... Not if mom is throwing a party and yall help finance it. If she speaks up tell her yall can plan something for her next birthday


Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Oct. 5, 2013 at 11:26 PM
She is 12. She will bring it up. If the boys ever get anything nice, she brings it up.


Quoting carolyntx:

Well that's none of their business really, but if they ask its at your discretion how much of your personal financial info to share there. How old is SD?



Quoting Anonymous:

We have always been odd in our relationship with money. We split rent and utilities 50/50 but other than that split, we have separate money.





What I am most concerned about is BM or stepdaughter will think he helped fund it.






Quoting carolyntx:

No... Not if mom is throwing a party and yall help finance it. If she speaks up tell her yall can plan something for her next birthday


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