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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Would you go for custody?Update

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 248 Replies

My DH and I have a wonderful home and a wonderful family. He has 1 son from his 1st marriage which ended 2 yrs ago. I have 2 sons from a past relationship. We are having 1 dd together due in January. We get his DS 1night 2 days a week. So he is 90% with his mom. Now I was talking with my husband and it seems like we are the more stable household. BM lives in a 2 bedroom apartment with just her and her son. There is no man in her life. Now I know her son loves her and loves being with mommy. It just seems that we have the better family home.  She just moved out of her parents home. She moved there after the divorce.

My husband said he would go for it. He pays her child support and nothing grinds his gears more than that.

Would you do it? How likely is it that we would win?

UPDATE:

We talked to a lawyer and also a friend that works in family court. They both said that we have a good chance in winning since we have a family unit. We will be filling papers next week.

Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 6, 2013 at 7:04 AM
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Replies (1-10):
justpeachy71904
by peachy on Oct. 6, 2013 at 7:05 AM
13 moms liked this
You want custody because you pay child support?

And because she lives in an apartment?

Haha that's your reason? Oh my goodness!

Wow
thefiregoddess
by Ruby Member on Oct. 6, 2013 at 7:06 AM
5 moms liked this
Uh no. You sound delusional.
Punchyobuns
by on Oct. 6, 2013 at 7:07 AM
1 mom liked this

I hope you're kidding.

tinnaa2000
by Bronze Member on Oct. 6, 2013 at 7:07 AM
Quoting justpeachy71904:

You want custody because you pay child support?

And because she lives in an apartment?

Haha that's your reason? Oh my goodness!

Wow

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Oct. 6, 2013 at 7:07 AM


No, it's beacuse we have the better family unit.  We are more stable.

Quoting justpeachy71904:

You want custody because you pay child support?

And because she lives in an apartment?

Haha that's your reason? Oh my goodness!

Wow



Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Oct. 6, 2013 at 7:08 AM


I think he would do better in a family type home than just with her.

Quoting thefiregoddess:

Uh no. You sound delusional.



LilliesValley
by on Oct. 6, 2013 at 7:12 AM
2 moms liked this

If your motivation is seeing the child more then I say that's fine. If it's getting out of paying cs then that's not okay. You are still going to have to provide for the kid and may end up having the kid 50% of the time, while still having to pay cs if mom's income isn't that high. I think (and certainly hope) that he is just wanting more time with your son and the cs comment is just something stupid that you added in, hopefully so. I would say speak to an attorney and see about changing the custody and lowering the cs to reflect a new custody arrangement, but if he really cares about his son then your dh shouldn't want his son to go without when his son is with his mom either. I'm sure your chances depend on your state and a number of other issues. And keep in mind op, that things didn't work out in his first marriage, and as secure as you feel now in your marriage, things can change. You may someday be the one he's trying to get out of cs with.

JordansGenius
by on Oct. 6, 2013 at 7:12 AM
12 moms liked this

Aside from how horribly wrong I find the whole premise...

I will point out a possible perspective of the courts'.

You have 2 + his 1 + 1 due shortly = a 4 child "blended" household, which *only* includes 1 biological parent & 1 biological 1/2 sibling.

This quite possibly sounds "chaotic" and leaves one to wonder if the child would benefit *MORE* by staying with the mother and being the *SOLE* focus of the household.

Just throwing some logic out there...

progressandjoy
by Silver Member on Oct. 6, 2013 at 7:13 AM
1 mom liked this
You must be clueless about custody battles.

What is the change in circumstances? Just because she lives in an apartment doesn't make her an unfit parent.

As a child that was in the center of a messy custody battle, I would never drag a child through a senseless custody battle.
km1970
by Platinum Member on Oct. 6, 2013 at 7:13 AM
3 moms liked this

Unless there is abuse or neglect, I don't think you have much of a chance. I suppose if your dh wanted to try for more visitation that would be possible.

Just because she lives in an apartment and is single doesn't mean she's a bad parent.

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