who wrote this:
The President clicked his mouse twice, then slowly reclined in his desk chair. Stroking his chin, he let out a menacing chuckle. "Yes, perfect... Amber Alerts are gone forever."
Michele sauntered over and draped her arms around her husband. "Is it finished, dear?"
"Oh yes. They'll never find those children again. All hope is lost. Hail Satan."
"Wonderful! Dinner's at eight. Dress sharp, the Bidens are coming, and they're bringing the Antichrist." Michelle planted a kiss on his cheek and quietly exited, leaving President Obama to decide whether he wanted to wear his official Muslim Brotherhood keffiyah or his inverted cross necklace.
"Maybe I'll burn a flag later, or sacrifice a goat ... "