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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Career($$$) vs Family

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 50 Replies

 

Poll

Question: Work or family?

Options:

Go to school/work pt

work ft/ school pt

SAHM so kids/parents can be together

other


Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 31

View Results

I am very torn right now over what is the best decision for myself and family and could use some outsider perspective.  The "government shutdown"  has really made me stop and think about my immediate families financial situation and makes me very nervous.  I am currently a SAHM our cash savings is small currently which obviously makes me worried about all the what ifs that could come along.  I have been thinking of going back to school (but for what?) and possibly getting a part-time job as well but my concern is then my kids will never really get to see their grandparents!  We live two states and 10hrs from family/friends I spend a lot of the summer and vacations traveling to my and dhs parents house so our kids get time with the grandparents.  Our family plan was always open to the very real possibility of me going back to school and work once our kids were all school age.   We really didn't take into consideration my parents health failing early and them not being able to visit us now I just feel lost on what to do!  I know it may seem crazy to put our family financial security aside to have the opportunity to spend time with the grandparents but it really is difficult to disappoint my parents and children.  I have thought about and tried to just find part-time work but my husbands work and commute can make my hours very limited and finding a job willing to hire me with the limitations have been difficult.  I will add a poll just because some people like to answer quickly but would really like some responses please!


Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 8, 2013 at 11:49 AM
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Replies (1-10):
awesomemommy2
by Gold Member on Oct. 8, 2013 at 12:10 PM
1 mom liked this
Get a job in the school district. Summers off.
Razzle_Dazzle1
by Platinum Member on Oct. 8, 2013 at 12:15 PM

Honey, we do what we have to do. Your kids won't hate you for working. You can't choose not to work and struggle financially because you want to have more time to let your kids visit their grandparents. I know it's a hard thing but, as mothers, we do what we have to do to take care of our families. I went to school and worked part time while raising my child and now I have my degree and I work full time with three kids and one on the way. I don't feel guilty for it. I'm doing what I have to do as a mother to raise my kids.

CafeMom Tickers

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 8, 2013 at 12:17 PM

Those jobs are only minimum wage or slightly over I have 2 kids not in school yet one goes next year the other 2yrs later daycare cost would eat up any money brought in plus I would have to find a daycare willing to take a 2 kids for 9-10mths a year.  It is something I have considered though.  But thanks for the suggestion I appreciate the response. 

Quoting awesomemommy2:

Get a job in the school district. Summers off.


awesomemommy2
by Gold Member on Oct. 8, 2013 at 12:22 PM

My kids are 3, 5 & 7.   This is the first year the older two are both in school.   I have worked PT at night and on the weekends because the daycare and the before school and aftercare would eat most of my income.    Have you thought about doing babysitting in your home (or at night/weekends).   Its tough but there are ways to make some extra money with little kids.   You can also look at working at a daycare center or preschool.   Usually the tuition is 50% off so while you have kids there the income wouldnt be all that much but as they get older it would be more.   

Quoting Anonymous:

Those jobs are only minimum wage or slightly over I have 2 kids not in school yet one goes next year the other 2yrs later daycare cost would eat up any money brought in plus I would have to find a daycare willing to take a 2 kids for 9-10mths a year.  It is something I have considered though.  But thanks for the suggestion I appreciate the response. 

Quoting awesomemommy2:

Get a job in the school district. Summers off.




Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 8, 2013 at 1:05 PM

Thanks for the reply!  I get what your saying about doing what we have to do I think where my big problem comes in is that my potential income would be a bonus/safety net.  I wouldn't be working because I had to provide for my family but more just have for savings and vacation(play) money.  Obviously having a savings would be a smart decision but I have a great deal of guilt for the lose of the relationship between my kids and their grandparents. 

Quoting Razzle_Dazzle1:

Honey, we do what we have to do. Your kids won't hate you for working. You can't choose not to work and struggle financially because you want to have more time to let your kids visit their grandparents. I know it's a hard thing but, as mothers, we do what we have to do to take care of our families. I went to school and worked part time while raising my child and now I have my degree and I work full time with three kids and one on the way. I don't feel guilty for it. I'm doing what I have to do as a mother to raise my kids.


furbabymum
by Platinum Member on Oct. 8, 2013 at 1:06 PM

 I would not be happy staying at home. I'm not the sort who could be happy with that. Brava to those who are but I'm not. So I have my career and my family and it works out quite well. I see my kids on my lunch hour and we are all quite happy with life.

TranquilMind
by Ruby Member on Oct. 8, 2013 at 1:07 PM

 Don't go back to school unless you can pay for it.  Taking out loans in this economy is not wise, unless you are a Phd away from some science or tech degree and just need to finish up. 

Yes, grandparents are important.  My kids lost them when they were very young and you can't fix that.  Spend the time with them.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 8, 2013 at 1:14 PM

It is tough to find a job with little kids I have considered home daycare but I have big dogs which can be a big issue for some plus I am not a huge fan of other peoples kids.  I have looked at night shifts but my husband doesn't get home until sometimes after 7pm so unless I worked and overnight (sleep?) I am running into getting hired.  I guess ultimately between my parents health issues and then the whole government thing I have been panicking slightly about what to do and am running into all the same issues. 

Quoting awesomemommy2:

My kids are 3, 5 & 7.   This is the first year the older two are both in school.   I have worked PT at night and on the weekends because the daycare and the before school and aftercare would eat most of my income.    Have you thought about doing babysitting in your home (or at night/weekends).   Its tough but there are ways to make some extra money with little kids.   You can also look at working at a daycare center or preschool.   Usually the tuition is 50% off so while you have kids there the income wouldnt be all that much but as they get older it would be more.   

Quoting Anonymous:

Those jobs are only minimum wage or slightly over I have 2 kids not in school yet one goes next year the other 2yrs later daycare cost would eat up any money brought in plus I would have to find a daycare willing to take a 2 kids for 9-10mths a year.  It is something I have considered though.  But thanks for the suggestion I appreciate the response. 

Quoting awesomemommy2:

Get a job in the school district. Summers off.





awesomemommy2
by Gold Member on Oct. 8, 2013 at 1:19 PM

You sound like me except my parents are only an hour away.   I actually work at Costco on the weekends to make a few bucks extra.   I work for the company that does the demos.   Its not a ton of money but it pays for some of the extras and hubby is home for the kids.   I am a teacher so when my 3 year old is in school full day my plan is to go back to teaching.   Or work in the school cafeteria.   


Quoting Anonymous:

It is tough to find a job with little kids I have considered home daycare but I have big dogs which can be a big issue for some plus I am not a huge fan of other peoples kids.  I have looked at night shifts but my husband doesn't get home until sometimes after 7pm so unless I worked and overnight (sleep?) I am running into getting hired.  I guess ultimately between my parents health issues and then the whole government thing I have been panicking slightly about what to do and am running into all the same issues. 

Quoting awesomemommy2:

My kids are 3, 5 & 7.   This is the first year the older two are both in school.   I have worked PT at night and on the weekends because the daycare and the before school and aftercare would eat most of my income.    Have you thought about doing babysitting in your home (or at night/weekends).   Its tough but there are ways to make some extra money with little kids.   You can also look at working at a daycare center or preschool.   Usually the tuition is 50% off so while you have kids there the income wouldnt be all that much but as they get older it would be more.   

Quoting Anonymous:

Those jobs are only minimum wage or slightly over I have 2 kids not in school yet one goes next year the other 2yrs later daycare cost would eat up any money brought in plus I would have to find a daycare willing to take a 2 kids for 9-10mths a year.  It is something I have considered though.  But thanks for the suggestion I appreciate the response. 

Quoting awesomemommy2:

Get a job in the school district. Summers off.







suzanneyea
by on Oct. 8, 2013 at 1:22 PM

I miss working, but I think it is more important for me to stay home. If I needed the money, I would look into part time.

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