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possible abuse??? (warning slightly long) Edit!

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 44 Replies

DS10 has always been my quiet child -stuck in the middle of 3 noisy girls, he's always felt unheard. The girls dish it out and he takes it as well as gives it - mostly physically with his older sister - the younger ones he runs dobbing to me. He is described as a outgoing, happy go lucky, cheerful, polite boy at school. But my problem with him is that he cries at the drop of a hat, and real tears, not crocodile tears. He is inconsolible. We've asked the teachers to keep an eye on him, no bullying. We've had him in couselling (no depression, no mental health issues, DH and I could disagree a little less (and DD and I) but nothing that could be causing this amount of pain), I've had one on one time with him weekly, DH takes him out fishing as much as possible and I've recently extended his bedtime so that he can have extra cuddles with me - but nothing seems to stop the tears.He does have anxiety issues, but they are so rare and few/between that I don't think this is anxiety.

His sister is also concerned and has taken him on several individual trips out to try and figure him out. He's expressed to her that nobody bullies him; that he's watched bullying occur but stays out of it. He was nervous about his first camp coming up - but through explaining that it's EVERYONE'S first camp and that if anything happens we can go and get him, that it's one night, and even googled it to show him where it was...But he's just inconsolable over...over nothing and he refuses to explain why. So now my mind is turning to abuse. He has his first male teacher this year, and I know of at least 2 behaviourally difficult boys in the room, and honestly I don't know what to think. Could he be a victim of something? Or could he be initiating something? DS has no interest in girls (or anything to do with romance) and is happiest playing electronic systems if this helps. He was in counselling originally because he stated he wanted to die - which we found due to counselling was jealousy from his elder sister's mental health issues and the "attention" she was getting from it. (I say "attention" because it wasn't extra attention as such, but just being extra careful and supportive during her time of need)... Help?

Edit with new information: DS has been into the whole "privacy" thing for almost a year - showering with the door shut, yelling at anyone who comes in when he's in the bathroom, etc, and tonight DD was in the laundry while he was preparing for the shower and she jokingly goes "hurry up before I turn around and see something I don't need to see" So DS pulls down his underwear and waits for her to turn around to see his 'privates'. I don't know if this helps any? to me it sounds like DS being a boy and trying to gross out his sister, but considering how 'private' he's been lately - is it anything to be concerned with?

Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 9, 2013 at 8:01 AM
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Replies (1-10):
suzanneyea
by on Oct. 9, 2013 at 8:03 AM

How old is he?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Oct. 9, 2013 at 8:04 AM
How old
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 9, 2013 at 8:05 AM


After all that I forgot to say...Idiot...10

Quoting suzanneyea:

How old is he?



Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 9, 2013 at 8:05 AM


10. Sorry :/

Quoting Anonymous:

How old



suzanneyea
by on Oct. 9, 2013 at 8:07 AM

Well, I think you should meet with a therapist either way. I have a ten year old, and they should be able to control their emotions 90% of the time. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 9, 2013 at 8:10 AM


What's the difference between a therapist and a counsellor? (I'm not from the US so I'm not sure if there is a difference here)

Quoting suzanneyea:

Well, I think you should meet with a therapist either way. I have a ten year old, and they should be able to control their emotions 90% of the time. 



PinkyPan
by on Oct. 9, 2013 at 8:10 AM

My guess is he uses the tears as a form of manipulation. He stated he wanted to die and then he was got your attention. He says he is fearful of the camp and everyone is trying to console him and promise it will be okay. He gets his bedtime adjusted and special outings with dad. This is purely my guess.

partygal19dani
by Danielle on Oct. 9, 2013 at 8:12 AM
That's not normal. He definitely needs to be seen by a child psychologist!! Get a good reference!
suzanneyea
by on Oct. 9, 2013 at 8:13 AM


No difference, I can just spell therapist, lol.

Quoting Anonymous:


What's the difference between a therapist and a counsellor? (I'm not from the US so I'm not sure if there is a difference here)

Quoting suzanneyea:

Well, I think you should meet with a therapist either way. I have a ten year old, and they should be able to control their emotions 90% of the time. 





Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Oct. 9, 2013 at 8:14 AM


Quoting PinkyPan:

My guess is he uses the tears as a form of manipulation. He stated he wanted to die and then he was got your attention. He says he is fearful of the camp and everyone is trying to console him and promise it will be okay. He gets his bedtime adjusted and special outings with dad. This is purely my guess.

You know this might just be whats going on. Try ignoring his tears and see what happens OP

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