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Need some opinions!

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 5 Replies
So a few weeks ago my husband and I split up. I moved in with my mom while he stay in our house with our female roommate. When we split up we both agreed that we would not have over night guests or date someone without telling the other. For the the fact that kids didnt people parading through their lives and that way if the one of us had a problem with who ever the other dating we could tell them. I told them before I moved that I didnt have a problem with them dating because I knew my husband liked her. The only thing I asked was that if they did date that she moved and they didnt lie to me about it or hide it from me. They did just that. Neither told me. They told everyone they work with and people that said they were my friends. No one told me. My problem is not that they dated or are dating. Just that everyone lied and hid it from me. Would anyone else be able to get passed that? I cant seem to. I trusted them with my kids and if they are going to lie to me about this what else have they lied to me about. My other problem why would even think I would be ok with them lieing. Little help please! I dont know if I want my kids going over there if they would lie to me about this. Cause there is no telling what else they would lie about.
Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 9, 2013 at 10:14 AM
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Replies (1-5):
kellysp6637
by on Oct. 9, 2013 at 10:18 AM

 Okay....so I guess I'm going to sound like a bitch here...but why on earth would you have a female roomate living in a house with you and your husband?

And then if you knew he liked her, why move out and then think that nothing is going to happen?

Sorry, but doesn't seem like this was a healthy relationship from the get go.

What exactly do you want opinions on?  You moved out...they were there in the same house, familiar with one another, and they hooked up.

File for divorce, move on....and DON'T allow another female into your family dynamics in the future.  Sexually or not, she was already a part of your family dynamics by being a roomate.  Just a bad, bad idea.

pinkysmommy720
by Silver Member on Oct. 9, 2013 at 10:20 AM

 Sounds like your first mistake was having a female roommate.  That is just temptation standing right in front of him.  You may have asked them not to lie to you, but they are adults, they are still going to do what they want thinking they are sparing your feelings. More than likely if they told you, you would have a problem with it, even if you say you wouldn't. You can't keep your kids from their father unless it is dangerous for them to be around him and then you will have to go through the courts, etc for that. Put on your big girl undies, build a bridge and move on. 

PhoenixsMommy10
by Platinum Member on Oct. 9, 2013 at 10:21 AM
Why does it matter if they date or not since she was already living there and had already been around your children?
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Oct. 9, 2013 at 10:23 AM

You split up, doesn't that sort of put the brakes on being able to control his actions any longer? Not that being together means you get to control, but you certainly get to put standards on how you want to be treated and what you're wiling to accept. You don't get to do that anymore. Lying is not a reason to keep a man from his kids, unless it's lying about abuse or putting the kids in danger. You can't put rules and regulations on his relationship with this girl.

CamoChick
by on Oct. 9, 2013 at 10:30 AM

 To me it doesn't sound like they really lied to you.  From what you said in your post, it seems like you knew it was going to happen between the 2 of them.

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