Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Is a vasectomy or tubal solely your choice or should your partner have a say?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 22 Replies

My friend's husband had a vasectomy without telling his wife! She was three states away at a conference and only found out when she came home and found him icing his groin.

Do you feel like this is a decision you should make without your partner? What would you do if your guy did this behind your back? What do you think your partner would do if you had your tubes tied without his knowing?

Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 9, 2013 at 1:04 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
MicheleJM
by on Oct. 9, 2013 at 1:08 PM

I think you should tell your spouse so he or she knows the baby making days are through.  I think it's your body your decision but to keep it secret from the other spouse who might want more children is not cool.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Oct. 9, 2013 at 1:09 PM
Those are decisions we would make together. That's not something to do behind the others back.
Kaelaasmom
by Katie on Oct. 9, 2013 at 1:09 PM
1 mom liked this

 In the end, it is the decision of the individual getting the procedure. However, in a healthy relationship, it is a decision that should be made as a couple.

CafeMom Tickers
SpiritedWitch
by Froggie on Oct. 9, 2013 at 1:10 PM

I think it should be discussed between the two but ultimately, it is his or her final decision. 

LadyVoldemort
by on Oct. 9, 2013 at 1:10 PM
These are things you should discuss together. However, the choice should ultimately be up to the person considering the surgery
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Oct. 9, 2013 at 1:11 PM

My marriage is a partnership, I would be very hurt if he did something like that behind my back. It's deceitful and wrong IMO.

Mtdewwid
by on Oct. 9, 2013 at 1:13 PM
I think doing it secretly is sucky. However it's still your body. I'm having my third child with my SO and it's his first. I told him I plan to have my tubes tied after this one and he was a bit upset. But honestly I can't take having another after this one, so he's going to have to deal with it.
kailu1835
by Ruby Member on Oct. 9, 2013 at 1:13 PM
I would have been hurt if my husband did it behind my back without telling me. The decision to have or not have more kids is something a married couple makes together. I am all for taking charge of your own fertility, but in a marriage there is more to consider than just yourself. My husband and I made the decision together.
theosgirl45
by Platinum Member on Oct. 9, 2013 at 1:13 PM

If you are in a committed relationship I think both parties should have a say.  Thats pretty permanent procedure and should be discussed more than once. I would be very upset if my DH got one without discussing it with me first.  I would never consider doing something like that without talking to my DH about and and hearing his thoughts/opinions.

 I Bleed Black and Gold

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Oct. 9, 2013 at 1:14 PM
We decided together.
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)