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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Do I owe all of them a gift or money?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 69 Replies

I lived several states away from most of my family for the better part of my adult years. I went out-of-state for college and never moved back.

Over the last 10 years, several of my cousins have graduated from high school or college, gotten married, and had babies. I've been invited to most celebrations, but as I was single and struggling to pay off school loans, I was never much for a gift. I did always send a card. My DH and I got married when our daughter was a year old, so we didn't have a big wedding or baby shower for everyone (2,000 miles away from both of our families. My good friend from college threw me a shower with just a few close friends where we lived).

I moved back to the area I grew up in last year after I was hired for a very good job. I make excellent money now. My husband makes excellent money too, but he can work from anywhere.

One of my cousins, the last of four kids, got married last weekend. I was able to attend the wedding and gave him and his bride a gift of $150. My aunt, who I am not very close to, called me this morning and said while it was nice to have given a generous amount, it was unfair that I have never considered her other children's celebrations. She said that she knows we have money and should make the proper restitution.

I was shocked. Her kids are all adults in their 20's and early 30's. I feel bad that I was never able to give them anything, but the last celebration was nearly five years ago and I didn't have it then.

Do I owe them something? Should I send the other 3 a check for a super "late" congratulatory gift?

Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 9, 2013 at 4:34 PM
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Replies (1-10):
SRUsarahSC
by Platinum Member on Oct. 9, 2013 at 4:35 PM
23 moms liked this

No and she is incredibly rude to even mention it.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Oct. 9, 2013 at 4:36 PM
No, that was very rude of her to suggest.
Lydlou02
by on Oct. 9, 2013 at 4:36 PM
1 mom liked this
No f-ing way. That lady is off her rocker.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Roo1234
by Platinum Member on Oct. 9, 2013 at 4:37 PM
1 mom liked this

No, and it was tacky of her to call and suggest it.

It is obvious you are in a different place with your life now.  Would she have suggested the opposite had you fallen on hard times after having being generous in th past?

wowguildmomma
by on Oct. 9, 2013 at 4:37 PM

Um that was quite rude of her. 

AuntieM
by Gold Member on Oct. 9, 2013 at 4:37 PM
Of course not. You didn't have the money then. You don't owe them "restitution". She's nuts.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Oct. 9, 2013 at 4:38 PM
Your aunt is incredibly rude. You don't owe anyone anything. An invitation to a celebration isn't an obligation to send or give a gift.
TheDoctorsWife
by on Oct. 9, 2013 at 4:38 PM
3 moms liked this

 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Oct. 9, 2013 at 4:38 PM
1 mom liked this

No you don't owe them anything. And she is a huge, rude ass, person to even say that. Shit happens and people circumstances change all the time. So if you lost your job would she be okay with you asking for the money back?

onaflowers
by Silver Member on Oct. 9, 2013 at 4:38 PM
Wow. It is weird to me how mny people think they are owed a gift for anything.
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