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First time moving out on my own with a baby

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 2 Replies
Okay. Retyping this.

I have always had roommates and my DD's father living with us. He abandoned us 6 months ago and has cut off all contact. We have a pending cs case. DD is 14 months and I am 22. I have been living with a family member since.

I can't handle it anymore. I lost my car with all of this. My family member lives 30-45 minutes outside of the city, where my job is. I am very appreciative. She drives me, but I have to fill up her tank and am sometimes stuck waiting for up to 3 or 4 hours at work for her to get me. She blows up on me for the slightest of things. Like today I told her I found a ride at work and she blew up on me for changing plans(she spent a long time "getting ready")and I started crying in front of everyone at work. :( She constantly talks about how dd and I are going to be burned alive for not going to church all because of my parenting. If I associate with anyone who is non Christian while living with her, i have to leave.

I can't do it. I have been in tears all day. I make $10 an hour at work. Minimum wage is 7.25 here. I start college in the Spring. I start my part time seaaonal job up again at a coffee shop in a few weeks. I am ready to settle down with dd in a small house within walking distance of the grocery store and public transportation.

Any advice? Do I have a chance? I am so scared. I'd like to take out a loan and buy a small house. I have good credit, but am terrified of screwing up and being stuck. Please no hurtful words. Thanks moms..
Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 9, 2013 at 7:39 PM
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RoseWildflower
by on Oct. 9, 2013 at 7:55 PM

That's a difficult situation to be in. I'm sure you will do just fine with being a single mom living on your own. Have you found a daycare for dd yet when you will attend college? How will you get to school without a car? Maybe you will be able to move out once you get your CS taken care of. Bur for now...

I honestly think you should stay with your aunt. Talk to her and tell her that you respect her opinions but that you would like for her to allow you to do the parenting, explain that you are no longer a child and that you are able to make your own choices. Your aunt can watch dd while you work maybe? Try to compromise and sit down with her and make a plan and "rules". eg. you tell her that you will tell her in advance next time you have a ride and in return she doesn't get angry all the time. Tell her that it's hard enough as it is and that you don't need her bringing you down as well. I feel like this is something that you could work on. Give it another month or so, or until you have your CS sorted out.

Goodluck.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 9, 2013 at 8:34 PM
Yes. Dd is in daycare..in the city. Everything is in the city. I have tried discussing it with her. It's hard.


Quoting RoseWildflower:

That's a difficult situation to be in. I'm sure you will do just fine with being a single mom living on your own. Have you found a daycare for dd yet when you will attend college? How will you get to school without a car? Maybe you will be able to move out once you get your CS taken care of. Bur for now...

I honestly think you should stay with your aunt. Talk to her and tell her that you respect her opinions but that you would like for her to allow you to do the parenting, explain that you are no longer a child and that you are able to make your own choices. Your aunt can watch dd while you work maybe? Try to compromise and sit down with her and make a plan and "rules". eg. you tell her that you will tell her in advance next time you have a ride and in return she doesn't get angry all the time. Tell her that it's hard enough as it is and that you don't need her bringing you down as well. I feel like this is something that you could work on. Give it another month or so, or until you have your CS sorted out.

Goodluck.


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