Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

do you think less of a gf than a wife?

Posted by on Oct. 9, 2013 at 8:49 PM
  • 430 Replies
3 moms liked this
I feel like when someone says my wife, the person is looked more favorably upon than if the guy were to say "my girlfriend". Is that true? I see it on here too. When someone says: my bf, people get all judgy, but if someone sais: my husband, they are less judgmental about the relationship. Im mobile so sorry if i dont make sense
by on Oct. 9, 2013 at 8:49 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Osstie
by Platinum Member on Oct. 9, 2013 at 8:50 PM
1 mom liked this
Yes. I noticed that too here on cm before I was married.
katemckenzie
by Kate on Oct. 9, 2013 at 8:53 PM

I get that a lot because DF and I aren't married yet. Even from women on here, they say he hasn't signed the papers yet, so he could still leave. 
SS's mom doesn't consider us a family because we aren't married, even though we've been together as long as her and her husband have. They were just stupid enough to get married too early and she's cheated with 3 different dudes and they hate each other now. 

imacafemomer
by on Oct. 9, 2013 at 8:54 PM
2 moms liked this
My x husband was a shithead. My boyfriend is awesome. But when i would say my husband, people were nicer than when i say: my boyfriend.


Quoting Osstie:

Yes. I noticed that too here on cm before I was married.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Oct. 9, 2013 at 8:54 PM
6 moms liked this
Yes, I agree I see the same thing. Unless I know the couple I am guilty of this as well. I believe, in general, a married couple has more stability than a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship.
Of course this in general. I know several married couples who are incredibly unstable and NEED a divorce. I also know two couples who have loving amazing relationships, have been together for 20+ years and don't feel marriage is something needed.
justpeachy71904
by peachy on Oct. 9, 2013 at 8:56 PM
14 moms liked this
Well that's just silly.. We all had to be a gf at some point ;-)
NonaScheib38
by Gold Member on Oct. 9, 2013 at 8:56 PM
5 moms liked this

I was married and now divorced, so it seems juvenille (sp?) to go back to saying boyfriend. I feel suddenly like I'm back in high school, and I hesitate to call him that or bring him up around my daughter's teachers. I'm 100% sure people get judgey about it. 

Yeah, I guess a problem of mine is that I know that this guy is the real deal, but saying "boyfriend" doesn't really convey it. I always feel like people look down on me simply for being willing to date while my kids are little. I have been asked "Well, what if the kids get super attached and it doesn't work out?"

I don't think men with kids get it as bad, because even if they only get placement with their kids once a month, people are just soooo impressed that they are willing to spend any time with their own children. 

TL;DR, I think "girlfriend" implies short term and unreliable, while "wife" means she's sticking around for life. It's a decent reason to treat somebody differently, but it sure does suck. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Oct. 9, 2013 at 8:57 PM
7 moms liked this

Yes, a gf signals a lack of commitment, an instability. They also have many fewer rights.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Oct. 9, 2013 at 8:58 PM
23 moms liked this

I think getting married shows you are interested in having a mature committed relationship and being a family together. living together forever unmarried says you want to play house without a real commitment, because it is easy to just walk out if you want, you aren't legally attached to the person. so yes, I have more respect for people who are married because they show that at one time they made a real commitment vs just pretending to

NonaScheib38
by Gold Member on Oct. 9, 2013 at 8:59 PM


Yeah I get that too. I got married young (and ended up divorced, how odd) and had kids young, so I always said "my husband" because people treat single, young ladies who have kids with them like fucking idiots. All of a sudden, because I was married, holy shit I was this whole different person in their eyes! Now I'm older but back to boyfriend town, and people are like "Are all the kids even from the same dad?" It drives me crazy.

Quoting imacafemomer:

My x husband was a shithead. My boyfriend is awesome. But when i would say my husband, people were nicer than when i say: my boyfriend.


Quoting Osstie:

Yes. I noticed that too here on cm before I was married.



alexsmomaubrys2
by on Oct. 9, 2013 at 9:01 PM
7 moms liked this


Quoting justpeachy71904:

Well that's just silly.. We all had to be a gf at some point ;-)

Yes and then we made a much deeper and stronger commitment to each other by getting married. 

Lifetime girlfriends don't get that and I think it is a little sad. 

”Nonsense wakes up the brain cells. And it helps develop a sense of humor, which is awfully important in this day and age.” - Dr. Seuss. 

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)