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He can just leave [wife/gf S/O]....EDIT

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
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11 moms liked this

I was reading some of the replies from the post about people's response to whether a woman is a wife or gf and I noticed some saying "If he's just your bf he can leave anytime" or "it's not a real committment" or the one I hate the most people are "playing house"......IMO A man who is married can "just leave" too. I mean even though he'll have to jump through hoops, he could still just walk out of the door at any moment. Marriage isn't the only way to show your committment to someone. If you're with your partner for 10+ years I don't see how someone could say that you're not committed just because you haven't signed any papers. If you've lived with someone for that long you're "playing house"? I don't think anyone is playing anything after that many years together. A ring doesn't equal commitment just like no ring doesn't equal not being committed. This is just a subject that kinda annoys me as someone who won't be getting married. If you think it's harder for a married man to leave, why/how is it harder [other than the legal hoops]?



**All of your responses have truly been interesting. Here is another question I thought of at one point when my grandmother asked me if I was going to marry my bf. When I told her no she mentioned God [I am not religious, but I didn't say that to her b/c she has enough going on w/o worrying about my eternal soul]. This made me think, when it comes to getting married many people do it for religious reasons. I have a friend who got married just so he could live with his gf. I was like wow, that's a dumb reason to get married. Anwyay, a marriage license is a contract that you're signing, there's nothing religious about it. God is no considered to be "worldly" so why does signing a paper [something worldly] hold any importance religiously? 

This article that I was reading reminded me of that.

 http://www.usavsus.info/MarriageLicenses-TheRealTruth.htm

Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 10, 2013 at 11:22 PM
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Replies (1-10):
ChewyBrownies
by ActuallyBeyoncè on Oct. 10, 2013 at 11:25 PM

Like being married is a chain around his waist connecting him to the wife. LOL It does not matter if you are married or not. If he TRULY wants to leave, he will leave. Married or not.


I do believe in marriage and commitment. I just don't think you should judge those who are not married yet.

TableforSeven
by Platinum Member on Oct. 10, 2013 at 11:32 PM
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My cousin and his girlfriend were living together, not married.  They lived together for 15 years and had a 14 year old daughter together (only child for either of them).  One day he came home and the girlfriend was gone....she just left - and didn't contact my cousin or their daughter for a few months!  

So, yes,  from my point of view.....Unless people are married, it doesn't matter how long a couple have been together.  Someone can easily just walk out.  I do believe that marriage is a bond and it is, indeed, harder to just up and leave.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Oct. 10, 2013 at 11:37 PM
1 mom liked this

But how/why is it harder? What about being married makes it harder?

Quoting TableforSeven:

My cousin and his girlfriend were living together, not married.  They lived together for 15 years and had a 14 year old daughter together (only child for either of them).  One day he came home and the girlfriend was gone....she just left - and didn't contact my cousin or their daughter for a few months!  

So, yes,  from my point of view.....Unless people are married, it doesn't matter how long a couple have been together.  Someone can easily just walk out.  I do believe that marriage is a bond and it is, indeed, harder to just up and leave.


Anonymous
by Anonymous on Oct. 10, 2013 at 11:42 PM
I agree
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Oct. 10, 2013 at 11:44 PM

well you know after being together that long it's considered a common law marriage and there are also legal hoops. I think it's more what marriage means to the guy than what marriage means to the girl that determines the commitment thing. Though many girls may think my boyfriend is just as committed, marriage is just a piece of paper, lots of guys feel less committed when not married. That's why they don't want to marry.

luckysevenwow
by Platinum Member on Oct. 10, 2013 at 11:44 PM

If there are no children involved it is easier to just leave, because there is nothing that will need to be worked out.

If there are children, then it doesn't matter if you are married or not. It's not going to be as simple as walking out the door and never looking back. 

lesalmi
by Gold Member on Oct. 10, 2013 at 11:46 PM
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I am in complete agreement with you. My bf and I have been together for 6 years, we live together, have blended our families and made a life together. We aren't married or even looking at getting married anytime soon. Ultimately marriage is a piece of paper, the commitment is the important thing. Being married doesn't make you any less likely to break up
PookaboosMom
by Gold Member on Oct. 10, 2013 at 11:46 PM
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My dh can just leave anytime he wants...but he'll only be leaving with HALF his shit. Lol

:-D
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Oct. 10, 2013 at 11:48 PM
1 mom liked this

Good point. I didn't even think about that. Yes kids most certainly make it more complicated.

Quoting luckysevenwow:

If there are no children involved it is easier to just leave, because there is nothing that will need to be worked out.

If there are children, then it doesn't matter if you are married or not. It's not going to be as simple as walking out the door and never looking back. 


lovinmykiddo07
by Ruby Member on Oct. 10, 2013 at 11:48 PM

I agree. SO & I have been together 7 years & have a child together. We are just as committed as a married couple. If either one of us wanted to leave, we would do it, married or not. It just means that we'd have to pay money to divorce instead of "breaking up".

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