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Serious wwyd

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 34 Replies
I let my little brother, gf, her 2 1/2 year old and thier 4 month old move in with my family 2 weeks ago to keep them from being homeless and give them a chance to get ahead and have a better life. Things have been overall going really well. Surprisingly.

Tonight as I was cooling my dd's plate and fixing my ds'. The gf takes her older ds to the bathroom since he said he needed to poop. The next thing I hear is hysterical crying from the kid followed by a 10 minute tieade of mocking his crying and humiliating him every way she can. I tried my best not to interfere at first but it crosse d a line and I told my brother he either stopped it or I would and she could leave. He put their lil one down and went to talk to her.

She says she wasn't doing anything wrong, wasn't being mean at all. He (ds) was just being whiny. He (my lil bro) comes back and tells me that. I say oh hell no I could hear every word. He goes back there she comes out and starts feeding their lil one.
He stays back there so he can go as gf says he can't get up till he poops. He is then forced to sit on the toilet for ~45 minutes until I insist he get off.

I see it as abusive but I want to know if you think I'm over reacting.

Either way it will not be allowed to happen in my home ever again. Even if I have to throw her out bodily.
Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 13, 2013 at 8:08 PM
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Replies (1-10):
crysiann
by Gold Member on Oct. 13, 2013 at 8:15 PM
1 mom liked this

Maybe she is young and doesnt understand that abuse doesnt necessarily mean hitting a child. Could you calmy sit down with her and explain to her what you didnt like about how she spoke to her child? Maybe you could give her some ideas on how to better handle the situation in the future. I am not so sure it was "abuse", but, if she continues talking to her child that way it will definately be detrimental to his development. It seems that it may just be teetering on the line of abuse. I know a lot of people may say, not your kid, stay out of it", but, I feel that you could possibly help her to become a better mom.

holyhoola
by Gold Member on Oct. 13, 2013 at 8:21 PM
1 mom liked this
That's sad. Give her some motherly advice, if you don't address it she won't learn.
AshTysMom
by on Oct. 13, 2013 at 8:32 PM

I understand that she's probably trying to potty train, and one way is to schedule potty breaks, but 45 minutes is way too long. My son can be a bit sensitive and whiny and it annoys the crap out of me but my dh will sometimes mimic/mock him and that makes me crazier. It's borderline bullying. And her kid is 2! If at all possible I would try to record it if it happened again. Let her hear how she sounds to someone else. It's hard to have different families with different parenting styles under one roof. Not agreeing with what you feed your kid, or bedtimes, or spanking, is going to happen. And we all have bad days, and get impatient and lose our temper with our kids. But, if there's a question about whether a person is being abusive or not, you have to draw a line.

vegaswife2011
by Emerald Member on Oct. 13, 2013 at 8:33 PM


Quoting holyhoola:

That's sad. Give her some motherly advice, if you don't address it she won't learn.


Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Oct. 13, 2013 at 8:38 PM
Thanks. Thats kinda where I am. There's so much I'm ignoring in the name of "different parenting styles". Its making me crazy. They point blank ignore their 4 month old crying and you can tell the kids are just a nuisance to them.

It makes me want to cry knowing that this kid barely speaks above a whisper and cries at a glance from her. And my nephew is being raised by her. Hell everything my little brother has learned as a parent has come from her. It took everything in me not to punch her.



Quoting AshTysMom:

I understand that she's probably trying to potty train, and one way is to schedule potty breaks, but 45 minutes is way too long. My son can be a bit sensitive and whiny and it annoys the crap out of me but my dh will sometimes mimic/mock him and that makes me crazier. It's borderline bullying. And her kid is 2! If at all possible I would try to record it if it happened again. Let her hear how she sounds to someone else. It's hard to have different families with different parenting styles under one roof. Not agreeing with what you feed your kid, or bedtimes, or spanking, is going to happen. And we all have bad days, and get impatient and lose our temper with our kids. But, if there's a question about whether a person is being abusive or not, you have to draw a line.

leakymommy2
by Gold Member on Oct. 14, 2013 at 9:08 AM
That seems a bit excessive IMO. 45 mins for a 2 yr old? I can understand 10 mins. As far as the mocking goes, was it imitating her ds whining? Sometimes when dd whines, for no reason, I will make the same noises. Usually it makes her giggle and forget about whining.
hautemama83
by Emerald Member on Oct. 14, 2013 at 9:24 AM
Its her kid. Nothing you said is abuse, and sitting on a potty for 45 won't hurt a kid. All that shit, she'll have to work out herself. So you either mind your business, or kick them out.
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Oct. 14, 2013 at 10:00 AM
Going out of your way to humiliate and belittle a child isn't emotionally abusive? Thats news to me.

Quoting hautemama83:

Its her kid. Nothing you said is abuse, and sitting on a potty for 45 won't hurt a kid. All that shit, she'll have to work out herself. So you either mind your business, or kick them out.
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Oct. 14, 2013 at 10:02 AM
I mimic my dd when she's being whiney sometimes too, this was totally different. It made my blood boil.

I asked her about it this morning and she said she was just trying to piss him off and force him to poop. Wtf?

Quoting leakymommy2:

That seems a bit excessive IMO. 45 mins for a 2 yr old? I can understand 10 mins.

As far as the mocking goes, was it imitating her ds whining? Sometimes when dd whines, for no reason, I will make the same noises. Usually it makes her giggle and forget about whining.
Osstie
by Gold Member on Oct. 14, 2013 at 10:02 AM
While it sounds like gf made a bad call, I don't think them living with you gives you the right to dictate how they raise their kids.
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