I was shopping this morning with my kids. They all decided, with my permission, to push those little kid carts. Anyway, the rule was they could not hit anyone or they would have to leave the cart on the side. My six year old lost his cart first. My seven year old next. I gave my two year old two chances, due to his age, but he also had to leave his cart. He threw a fit and I calmed him while we shopped. When I set him down he went for my ten year old's cart. My ten year old wanted to be nice and tried to push his with my two year old, but it wasn't what my two year old wanted. He started to fit again, so I picked him up. He attacked me. Knocked my face so hard that my glasses bruised my nose and eye. I didn't even realize I had smacked him back until after I did it. I held him closer to me, we grabbed the last things we needed, and I realized that people saw me hit him. I can't believe I did that, either. I haven't hit my kids before. I am ashamed. My other kids were shocked and quiet the whole way home.
I have always kept a level head when my kids tantrum. I don't know what happened. He isn't my most difficult child, but he is my second most difficult. With his older siblings I should be used to tantrums by now. I wish I never had to shop there again. I embarrassed myself horribly today. I was worse than my two year old. I do not know what to think of myself today.