And that's because my sister was mentally disabled. She was born with a rare disease and didn't live past 3 weeks. My parents were devastated. So I don't know why my mom would make fun of someone who's mentally disabled when her own daughter that she lost at such a young age was mentally disabled as well. It doesn't make sense to me.
However, my mom has never been a great mom or a great person for that matter. We've never had a good relationship. She was on prescription drugs (OxyContin, Percocet, Xanax, etc) for most of my childhood and therefore mentally and emotionally absent. She spent over $20,000 on home shopping networks and put our family in so much debt we had to declare bankruptcy and our home went into foreclosure. My dad tried to stay with her for a year after that to try and fix things, try and break her of her addiction and bad habits, but nothing changed so he left her. SO knows this and he knows how much it hurt me as a child and has continued to hurt me as an adult. She went to rehab a while ago, but is back on her meds.
Anyways, only a few days after we found this out and SO was giving me the cold shoulder, I went jnto labor. SO told me he did not want my mom coming to the hospital, and if she did he would leave and not come back. I didn't tell my mother I went into labor, and I did not invite her to the hospital because I didn't want any drama ruining my first days with my beautiful new baby. However, I still felt guilty even though she's never been a good mom and I didn't even know if I wanted her before all of this happened. But like I said, I didn't want any drama. The most important thing was that my son was in a happy environment, my mom would meet him eventually. And eventually she did, but for the past 4 months SO and my mom haven't spoken and he still has so much hate for her.
Today SO dropped me off at her house so I could see my brother who's in town because my car has a flat tire. He walked me up to the door with the baby, and when my mom opened the door she wouldn't even make eye contact with him. I knew that SO was trying to break the tension by showing his face around her house, and he was hoping for her to at least say hello to him. I walked inside and said "do you wanna say hi to my brothers?" They all waved awkwardly and SO left, I felt horrible. His family is so kind to me. 5 minutes later he called me telling me he didn't want to put me in the middle of this, but he was very hurt that my mom couldn't even look him in the eye and they needed to talk and hash this out. I told him I completely agree and I would talk to her. But when I did, she said she didn't want to talk about it with him because she's done nothing wrong but she would be civil with him.
Later he came to pick me up. My brothers and I were outside and they both said hi to him, asked him how he was doing, said it's been to long. We put the baby in the car and left. As SO was pulling out of my moms apartment complex, he asked if I talked to my mom. I said yes and nothing else because I didn't want to fight AGAIN about how she said she didn't do it. So he starts SCREAMING at me about how he doesn't deserve this, how my mom is a dumb c*nt and his mom did nothing to deserve this, how he doesn't know if he can be with me because my family is so shitty, how he's just going to crash the car. That really f***ing pissed me off because our son was in the backseat and he's done nothing to deserve this. He said he can tell by my brother's body language (my older one) that he doesn't like him, I told him that my brother wants no bad feelings between them which is true, he told me that! He continued to scream at me the whole way home. When we got home I went to our room to nurse our son. I was laying in bed with him when he came in and started screaming at me again. I covered my sons ears and sternly, but not loudly, told him "don't yell like this in front of the baby" he said "fine but tell me WHY does your family do this to me and my family?" I just shook my head. I've apologized for my family's actions over and over and OVER again. I've asked my family to be nice to him OVER AND OVER AND OVER again. THERE IS NOTHING MORE TO DO. So he just keeps yelling "WHY!?" Then says "if you don't have an answer for me, then I can't do this, were fucking done"
Were fine when we don't see my family, I don't bring them up, and I don't talk to them. I feel like I have to choose between him and my family. I hate this, I'm so torn. My mom is not a good mom, but she's still my mom. And my brothers have done nothing wrong and I love them both so much. I don't know what to do. Someone please help. And PLEASE NO BASHING I've been through enough tonight, I don't need it, I just need some advice but I was very hesitant to post this.