IF we end up in court over visitations... am i wrong?
i want to know if i can ask for certain things...
1) supervised visits.
2) drug testing/results from his parole officer
3) anger management and possibly parenting classes
4) licensed and insured when/if the time comes when DS is able to actually GO somewhere with him
the reason i ask... DS is 8 years old. his dad is barely involved- you couldnt even really say he's involved. he swears he wants to be, but he wont take the measurements TO be involved. i did manage to get him to agree to sit down with me so we can talk about the issues in regards to DS (he keeps flipping between wanting to sign over rights to demanding to have him for an entire weekend, by himself)... he hasnt given me a day or time though so we'll see.
supervised visits-- he's spoken very lowly of DS (calling him names)... if i cant be around to monitor what he says to DS, i want someone to be able to. i dont want DS to have an even lower level of self-esteem than what he has now (for some reason, he's starting to think everything is his fault, and practically cries himself to sleep... even something simple like dinner sucked- i'm not the best cook and i've been trying to make new things, like salmon lol-- but he thinks its b/c of HIM that dinner sucked)
drug testing-- he's already failed one time with his parole officer... he's spoken of being a drug dealer again (weed and cocaine)... i do NOT want that crap around DS at all... my ex also gets really violent when he's fucked up (even on beer, but i dont know if i can put 'no drinking allowed'-- but i figure the supervised visits would eliminate it for a while)
anger management/parenting classes-- he can flip very easily from happy to pissed. DS isnt the manly-man type... and honestly, the last thing i'd want is DS to start crying over something and my ex telling him to 'shut the fuck up. you're acting like a sissy ass bitch'
i also want to have therapy/psychologist involved somehow, but i'm not sure if thats allowed. my ex's mom is schizophrenic (sp?)-- and recently, DS has started talking about people in his brain talking to him. i also think bipolar runs in the family.... when my ex gets mad and he says certain things, HE says he doesnt remember saying them after he's calmed down... i think thats a lie, but thats not my call to make. if he does have mental problems though, i prefer that he's getting help.
DS is already seeing a therapist, but its VERY new (friday will be our second appointment)....
i'll be honest and idc if i get bashed for it-- but right now, my plan is to keep DS away from him. no contact at all... until we sit down, discuss my wishes and he starts anger management and he gives me copies from his parole officer regarding his drug tests.... i doubt HE'D be willing to do that and if thats the case, i plan on telling him to go through the courts and to not contact me.
am i wrong in asking those things?