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would this piss you off? **edited**

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
We are pretty tight on money...i just looked in our bank account and dh was out wasting money..he went to starbucks, mcdonalds, and red robin today.spending $60 alone today...last weekend he got a new phone and spent close to $300 already...im pulling my hair out and want to yell at him..talking to him and sitting him down has not worked!...what would you do, if you were in this situation?...

And that is his money. He is The only one working right now. Because he is in The military he said i shouldnt work because someone needs to take care of our baby, especially with his odd Schedule sometimes or getting deployed...then wtf why isnt he helping with our financial problem..instead he is just going to put us in The hole..ughhhh

***update** I sent dh an angry text while he is at work...and he said he is going to cancel hulu,gamefly, and cable...
Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 17, 2013 at 4:04 AM
Replies (21-30):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 17, 2013 at 4:49 AM
I would but he is in The army and he is getting deploy in april... If i can get a high paying job that i can afford childcare with..i would have left his ass already.


Quoting msalice_21:

Its time to get a job yourself. It sucks but he obviously isnt very reliable in proving he can be responsible for supporting a family alone. Baby needs to have someone that is going to be there to make the ends meet and if he cant do it, it neess to be you. Good luck hun!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Oct. 17, 2013 at 4:50 AM
I would be pissed, but my dh does this too.. He will spend money on stuff we do not need instead of paying bills. We actually owe 1,200 in bills and are overdrafted. He doesnt spend it on food, but recently bought a brush guard for his jeep, tires, painted the rims, bumper, filter, headlights, and spark plugs. Then spend a bunch on two rats cages and stuff for them. All that money should have went towards bills. His opinion on it is he needs to treat himself a little out of every check otherwise he gets no satisfaction out of working...
msalice_21
by Platinum Member on Oct. 17, 2013 at 4:53 AM
So doesnt this mean you have until april to get a job and save up? Or does it mean you cant until april? Be optimistic! :)


Quoting Anonymous:

I would but he is in The army and he is getting deploy in april... If i can get a high paying job that i can afford childcare with..i would have left his ass already.




Quoting msalice_21:

Its time to get a job yourself. It sucks but he obviously isnt very reliable in proving he can be responsible for supporting a family alone. Baby needs to have someone that is going to be there to make the ends meet and if he cant do it, it neess to be you. Good luck hun!


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 17, 2013 at 4:54 AM
I am trying desperately to make extra income.. But this is just so pissing me off


Quoting Anonymous:

Um Yeah, he is your husband, for better or worse right?

When DH and I first got together, he was bad with money b/c his parents always took care of him and always were there to give him money when he asked. I, however had been working since I was 14 and was practicly financially on my own since 16-17. So, I was pretty good with money. It took a few years for us to get on the same page, basicly him stop spending $10 extra everytime he went to gas station or getting what every he wanted.

If you feel that you guys need more money, then find a way to make more money. I understand what your going thru, b/c I've been there, but if you truely want things to change, you'll find a way


susannah2000
by Ruby Member on Oct. 17, 2013 at 4:56 AM

Posters aren't getting that the paycheck is the husband's, and is the only income at present.  I don't even know if her name is on the account they have, so who knows if she could even open an account in her own name with his check. It takes an extremely inconsiderate spouse to spend money like water on themselves while their family goes without. The other partner becoming a "parent" is not the answer.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 17, 2013 at 4:58 AM
Neither? Ive asked him last week "what do you think about me going back to live with my family so someone can babysit and i can work while youre gone"..he didnt think and just said "no thats a bad idea"... Whatever i think om going to move back with family while he ia gone anyways since he does whatever he wants..so i dont care about whT he wants


Quoting msalice_21:

So doesnt this mean you have until april to get a job and save up? Or does it mean you cant until april? Be optimistic! :)




Quoting Anonymous:

I would but he is in The army and he is getting deploy in april... If i can get a high paying job that i can afford childcare with..i would have left his ass already.






Quoting msalice_21:

Its time to get a job yourself. It sucks but he obviously isnt very reliable in proving he can be responsible for supporting a family alone. Baby needs to have someone that is going to be there to make the ends meet and if he cant do it, it neess to be you. Good luck hun!



Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Oct. 17, 2013 at 4:58 AM
Sit down and find ways for him to be aware of the money coming in and going out. Some banks now have it to where you can get a text every time there is a debit or credit. Get to the money before he does. If he gets paid on Friday, then Thursday night have all of the checks for bills made out and your grocery list done. Early Friday go pay bills and go to the store. Afterwards, let him know there is X amount in the bank.
Quoting Anonymous:

I am trying desperately to make extra income.. But this is just so pissing me off


Quoting Anonymous:

Um Yeah, he is your husband, for better or worse right?

When DH and I first got together, he was bad with money b/c his parents always took care of him and always were there to give him money when he asked. I, however had been working since I was 14 and was practicly financially on my own since 16-17. So, I was pretty good with money. It took a few years for us to get on the same page, basicly him stop spending $10 extra everytime he went to gas station or getting what every he wanted.

If you feel that you guys need more money, then find a way to make more money. I understand what your going thru, b/c I've been there, but if you truely want things to change, you'll find a way



handy0318
by Ruby Member on Oct. 17, 2013 at 5:00 AM
1 mom liked this


No dear... it's your family's money. 

No "his" money or "your" money. Now that you're married, the financial decisions each make impact all of you, as you are fast learning. 

Yes, he has a problem with overspending money. 

However, treating him like he's a 5 year old, isn't go to go over really well. Some people just aren't good at handling money. I know, because I used to be like that myself. However, if my husband treated me like an errant child about it, it simply would have exacerbated the issue, not resolved it. 

We worked it out by budgeting an amount that each of us could spend per pay period on whatever we wanted without consulting the other. Once we had spent our descretionary fund, then each and every dime over that amount needed to be discussed prior to purchasing. This worked really well for us. I knew that, once I had spent my discretionary fund then that was it until next payday. I learned pretty quickly to budget my discretionary fund. I withdrew the whole amount, put half in my wallet for week one of the pay period and the other half in an envelope in one of our drawers. That way I could actually see how much I spent and how much (or little) was left. After doing this for a few months, my spending habits had really changed and I switched to just using a debit card. 

Perhaps a system like this will help things out.  

Just keep communicating with each other... like adults in a loving relationship... until the issue is resolved. 

Quoting Anonymous:

The thing is he is The only one working right now. Thats his money. We have a little baby with no1 to babysit... I have some money save up from when i last worked but thats going to my student loans and if we are ever in real trouble...


Quoting PollyPockette:

your dh is a fucking loser. 

make your own account and transfer all th emoney into it.  give that fucker an allowance and tell him when he can spend like abig boy he can have his own debit card like a big boy. 




l.a.m.b
by Gold Member on Oct. 17, 2013 at 5:01 AM

i would be pissed but my df brings home mostof the paycheck. so if he wants to spend 60 dollars on junk he can. he works full time. i dont think your dh is a loser i just think he has bad habits..  good luck op

liltampa71
by Platinum Member on Oct. 17, 2013 at 5:03 AM


When you are married, their is no "his money" and "my money".  Food, shelter, other needs need to be paid, and the creditors don't care who is making the money.

Quoting Anonymous:

The thing is he is The only one working right now. Thats his money. We have a little baby with no1 to babysit... I have some money save up from when i last worked but thats going to my student loans and if we are ever in real trouble...


Quoting PollyPockette:

your dh is a fucking loser. 

make your own account and transfer all th emoney into it.  give that fucker an allowance and tell him when he can spend like abig boy he can have his own debit card like a big boy. 




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