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Did your parents ever?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 115 Replies
Read your diary? How did you feel? What did they do with that information? Have you ever read your child/teen's diary?

I'm considering reading my daughters diary due to some concerns I have over her safety and I need to know what it feels like to have it done/do it to a child/teen to know if it's worth it...
Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 17, 2013 at 4:55 AM
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Replies (1-10):
SyllabaryBisque
by Linguistics Fascist on Oct. 17, 2013 at 4:57 AM
I didn't keep a diary. Here's a bump though.
Okie-chick
by Platinum Member on Oct. 17, 2013 at 4:57 AM
If you have concerns than read it
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Oct. 17, 2013 at 5:00 AM

I don't know if they did or not.  I never really cared about diaries that much.  I have read my daughter's from time to time.  I don't feel bad about it.  If I feel the need to take a look at the side of her life that she doesn't necessarily share with me, I'll do it.  But I don't do anything with what I find there.  Luckily there has never been a situation where I had to.  But I still want to stay on top of where her head is at.  The only snooping I ever did that I had to call her on was something in a FB message.  But she's always known that if I wanted to look around in her account, I will.  So it wasn't a big shock.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Oct. 17, 2013 at 5:00 AM

My mom probably did at some point.  I saw her reading my sister's once.  I have not read my daughter's (age 10), but she reads it to me all the time.  

For a serious safety concern that she won't talk about, I would read it.

Johlsh
by Silver Member on Oct. 17, 2013 at 5:01 AM
How old is your daughter? Are they major concerns?

My Grandmother did, I lived with her. My heart sunk and I was so angry and disappointed in her for reading my private thoughts. It mortified me at the time.

However I did get over it..


Try talking to her first, if you can't get a clear answer then I would maybe consider it if your worried for her safety.
liltampa71
by Platinum Member on Oct. 17, 2013 at 5:01 AM
1 mom liked this

I feel that as a parent, a child's safety over rules privacy.  If you have concerns, then read it.  If you just want to know stuff she isnt telling you, don't.

The students at Columbine had detailed their plans in their journal.  Their parents had concerns, but didnt want to invade their privacy.  Had they gone with their gut, the kids they shot and their own sons could be alive today.

TheDrsRose
by Platinum Member on Oct. 17, 2013 at 5:01 AM
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If you can't talk to her and you think this is the correct way to go about it you're so far in the wrong its stupid. My mother is my bestfriend,not bc she didn't deciplin me but bc she treated me with respect. She instilled in me that I could be honest with her about everything and I never had to have secrets. Maybe you need to figure out when you no longer became her friend and work on that.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Oct. 17, 2013 at 5:02 AM

I never kept a diary, but I kept a calender that I kept dates of when I started to date a guy along with other things that I would have hated to explain to my mother. Have you tried to have a conversation with her first about what might be going on? I'm not saying I'm against reading my kids diary if I feel the need, however I would be afraid that I was to get caught then our trust would be broken.

susannah2000
by Platinum Member on Oct. 17, 2013 at 5:05 AM
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I think that parents need to respect their children's privacy until they have a valid reason not to. Children's rights to privacy are not inviolate, and parents need to do what's best for the children, whether they agree or not. If you have valid reasons for worry, ACT.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Oct. 17, 2013 at 5:05 AM
2 moms liked this
I kept a diary and my dad read it...he literally threw it at my face and yelled at me for an hr over what he read. (That I didn't want to be a Mormon and couldn't wait until I turned 18 ad was finally given free choice).

After that...I stopped writing things as a diary and wrote my feelings into characters in stories. Or poems. Basically, things he couldn't use against me and I could pass off as an assignment for English.

What I do now, as a mom, is keep a diary *with* my kids. They each have their own book and we write to each other. All answers must be honest. And there can be NO retaliation or judgement! My son wrote that he stole from a store. I wrote back and asked him why he would steal and how did he feel? Then confessed to stealing some earrings when I was a kid and that I felt so disappointed in myself and so guilty I confessed to the store owner and paid for them a week later.

It is a chance to open up, lines of communication, and it is a safe place to talk about anything. You can not punish for anything written in the book. IE: she says she has had sex. You can not ground her immediately for having sex. Instead ask her why, how it happened, how she feels, if she thinks some sort of punishment should be given yes/no and why. Etc etc
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