What I left out was how abusive he was during our marriage. He was controlling and would push my friends so they would stop talking to me. He would break my things when he got angry, such as 4 laptops, 2 cameras, holes in doors, etc. If I argued with him, I would be hit. I eventually learned to only fight with h I m in our front yard because it kept me safe. I've been punched, bit, slapped, kicked, thrown, and pushed. The last time was the final straw.
We separated about 4 months ago but had still been living together because at the time it was what was easiest. I had drill with my reserve unit one weekend, and he was supposed to buy groceries, dog food, and school supplies. It broke my heart when I came home and saw that my dog had no food... there was only one package of ground beef left. He had made the decision to buy new boots instead of food. When I confronted him, inside stupidly, he ran across the room, grabbed me by my neck, pushed me to the floor and slammed my head on the wood floors in the hall. I ran. I ran for my life to a friends house... we waited until he was at work, went back to my house and called the mp's. 3 days later I got a restraining order...
This was in august. He moved out the same day the final attack happened. Many friends left my side, not believing me because I had never reported him before, or blaming me for it ever happening. You have no clue how hard that was on me and my children... but in the end it has been worth it.
We are about to move back to my homestate with my parents. Xdh will never have control over my life again. He will never hurt me again. My children will see that they deserve to be in a happy loving home.
Is it my fault for staying as long as I did? Yes. Ds was 8 months old the first time. I should have left then. I should have left after he did it the 2nd and 3rd and 4th time. I damn sure should have when he cheated. But I am not to blame for any of it. And other victims of domestic violence need to know this. I couldnt leave him until I saw my own worth.
I am worth more. You are worth more. Never let a man, or woman, treat you like you dont deserve better. You do.