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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

How DARE He Tell My Daughter Religion **Update**

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

So, last night, DSD7 (I've been with her dad for three years, married for one and a half) was asking about religion.
She asked what religion we were. I told her we're Wiccan.
DH has never had a problem with my religion. I even taught the kids a Wiccan bedtime prayer. No problem. Took DSD and DS4 to a Mabon celebration earlier this year. No problem.
DH, last night, decided that, no, I cuold not tell her we were Wiccan.
WTH?! Really?
He's not religious. At all. I am.
I wrote and performed my DS's Wiccaning (think of a Christening) the day we were released from the hospital after his birth.

Okay, here's where I got really pissed.
DSD and I said her prayers and went to bed. DH starts in on me, saying that I need to stop throwing my religion down the kids' throats.
Excuse me? At least I'm adding religion to their lives! And why do I need to stop when every parent that is religous teaches their religion to their kids?
I'm not telling my kids that my belief is the only one, or even the only right one. I will let them make that decision for themselves when they are older. But for now, I am teaching them what I believe.
Then, after we had stopped atalking about it, he starts looking up all these Jesus freak videos and playing them, loudly, while I'm trying to watch TV.
I paused my show, listened to a good five minutes of one of the videos, then turned my show back on.
He asked what my problem was.
Well, first, dear, I was watching my show before you started this crap.
Second, why do I have to have Jesus thrown down my throat by a man who knows less about the damn religion than I do? And in my own home nonetheless!!

Seriously, I do not miss my XH, the bio father to my two bio kids.
But last night, I was longing for him, because he shares my religious views and would NEVER have done what DH did.

GRRR!
Thanks for reading. Rant over!


Update- 10/23/13
Okay, so I texted DH the day I wrote this post and told him that we needed to talk when the kids went to bed.
I asked him very calm;y, what his attitude was about the night before. Was he really having a religious awakening, or what?
He told me that, no. He wasn't becoming Christian, he was just drunk and being an asshole. That he doesn't care what I tell the kids about religion, whether it be MY religion, or the family religion.

Thank you to all the women who had something positive to say on this stream. I really appreciate the good advice. It really helped calm my anger and disbelief and made me able to have an adult, level-headed conversation with my husband.

Oh, and we're still doing the Wiccan bedtime prayer. The kids, DSD included, ask for it.
It's areally good way to help transition from the day into bedtime.
And last night, DH helped me do the prayer with DSD.

Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 19, 2013 at 9:30 AM
Replies (11-20):
TurtleMomma82
by Barbie on Oct. 19, 2013 at 9:42 AM

Sound like something else is bugging him and he's lashing out at you this way.  Give him some time and ask him if he's ready to talk to you like a grown up

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Oct. 19, 2013 at 9:42 AM

changing his mind rationally and discussing it is one thing...what he did is boorish and assholeish, and degrading to his wife


Quoting Anonymous:

Why is he not allowed to change his mind? It's his kid, not hers.


Quoting Anonymous:

well if he had a fucking problem with it, HE shoulda said something LONG ago....



Quoting Anonymous:

It isn't your job to teach his daughter about religion. It's up to him and his ex. Also, why can't they learn other religions? Or like him, no religion?







AmaliaD
by Platinum Member on Oct. 19, 2013 at 9:42 AM
Not your kid really.... Not a recognized religion.... He has a point.
msjaxon
by Platinum Member on Oct. 19, 2013 at 9:43 AM
It means at least she is doing something. If you don't have a religion or believe in God you can teach that

Quoting Anonymous:

"At least I'm adding religion to their lives."



What is this supposed to mean? Obviously he doesn't want religion in their lives. There's the issue.



Ps- Humans can be raised without religion in their lives.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous on Oct. 19, 2013 at 9:43 AM

Religion is religion.  Yuck. 

quinnsmom715
by Donna on Oct. 19, 2013 at 9:44 AM

religion is a big fight when kids come..

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Oct. 19, 2013 at 9:45 AM
She's not your daughter. She's his daughter and if he has decided he doesn't want her learning about your religion anymore he has the right to do that.

Part of being a step mom is understanding your boundaries. This is not one of those decisions you have the right to make. I've been a step mom to my SS for over 9 years and I would NEVER tell him he had to be atheist or teach him what it means without permission from dh. But then... My own stance regarding religion is to allow dd to make her own choices.

Eta didn't mean to post anonymously... This is purple_panda.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Oct. 19, 2013 at 9:46 AM
Could he have gone about it better? Sure. But based off her post in CM it's not like she behaves much better.


Quoting Anonymous:

changing his mind rationally and discussing it is one thing...what he did is boorish and assholeish, and degrading to his wife



Quoting Anonymous:

Why is he not allowed to change his mind? It's his kid, not hers.





Quoting Anonymous:

well if he had a fucking problem with it, HE shoulda said something LONG ago....




Quoting Anonymous:

It isn't your job to teach his daughter about religion. It's up to him and his ex. Also, why can't they learn other religions? Or like him, no religion?











LilyofPhilly
by Platinum Member on Oct. 19, 2013 at 9:50 AM
Sounds Luke you have a problem. You'd better spend some time talking it over.
parentalrights1
by on Oct. 19, 2013 at 9:56 AM
2 moms liked this
Just because its not a recognized religion doesn't mean it isn't. A religion.

With difference does t make if its "recognized"

It's probably not recognized because of asshole Christians thinking only religions closest to their own are legit


Quoting AmaliaD:

Not your kid really.... Not a recognized religion.... He has a point.

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