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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

How DARE He Tell My Daughter Religion **Update**

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

So, last night, DSD7 (I've been with her dad for three years, married for one and a half) was asking about religion.
She asked what religion we were. I told her we're Wiccan.
DH has never had a problem with my religion. I even taught the kids a Wiccan bedtime prayer. No problem. Took DSD and DS4 to a Mabon celebration earlier this year. No problem.
DH, last night, decided that, no, I cuold not tell her we were Wiccan.
WTH?! Really?
He's not religious. At all. I am.
I wrote and performed my DS's Wiccaning (think of a Christening) the day we were released from the hospital after his birth.

Okay, here's where I got really pissed.
DSD and I said her prayers and went to bed. DH starts in on me, saying that I need to stop throwing my religion down the kids' throats.
Excuse me? At least I'm adding religion to their lives! And why do I need to stop when every parent that is religous teaches their religion to their kids?
I'm not telling my kids that my belief is the only one, or even the only right one. I will let them make that decision for themselves when they are older. But for now, I am teaching them what I believe.
Then, after we had stopped atalking about it, he starts looking up all these Jesus freak videos and playing them, loudly, while I'm trying to watch TV.
I paused my show, listened to a good five minutes of one of the videos, then turned my show back on.
He asked what my problem was.
Well, first, dear, I was watching my show before you started this crap.
Second, why do I have to have Jesus thrown down my throat by a man who knows less about the damn religion than I do? And in my own home nonetheless!!

Seriously, I do not miss my XH, the bio father to my two bio kids.
But last night, I was longing for him, because he shares my religious views and would NEVER have done what DH did.

GRRR!
Thanks for reading. Rant over!


Update- 10/23/13
Okay, so I texted DH the day I wrote this post and told him that we needed to talk when the kids went to bed.
I asked him very calm;y, what his attitude was about the night before. Was he really having a religious awakening, or what?
He told me that, no. He wasn't becoming Christian, he was just drunk and being an asshole. That he doesn't care what I tell the kids about religion, whether it be MY religion, or the family religion.

Thank you to all the women who had something positive to say on this stream. I really appreciate the good advice. It really helped calm my anger and disbelief and made me able to have an adult, level-headed conversation with my husband.

Oh, and we're still doing the Wiccan bedtime prayer. The kids, DSD included, ask for it.
It's areally good way to help transition from the day into bedtime.
And last night, DH helped me do the prayer with DSD.

Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 19, 2013 at 9:30 AM
Replies (21-30):
polkastria
by Member on Oct. 19, 2013 at 10:07 AM
2 moms liked this
Wicca is very much a recognized religion but I don't know why that would matter in this situation.

But I have a question for the OP...what faith, if any, is your step child's other parent? It could be that your husband is getting flack from that person or another family member about the Wiccan stuff and it came out like this instead of in a rational "lets talk like grown ups" way.

With Halloween/Samhain so close, it's easy for people that want to make petty remarks about Witches to do so and maybe your husband just can't handle the comments well so he took it out on you. Doesn't excuse his behaving like a jerk, but if it came out of the blue there is probably a reason.


Quoting AmaliaD:

Not your kid really.... Not a recognized religion.... He has a point.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 19, 2013 at 10:10 AM

I know they can.
But he's never had a problem with me teaching the kids my religion before.

Quoting Anonymous:

"At least I'm adding religion to their lives."

What is this supposed to mean? Obviously he doesn't want religion in their lives. There's the issue.

Ps- Humans can be raised without religion in their lives.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 19, 2013 at 10:12 AM

Yes. Thank you.
That is exactly what my issue is!

Quoting Anonymous:

no, the issue is, all of a sudden NOW he is questioning what she's doing after doing it all those years with her kids??  

sounds more like HE has a screw loose

Quoting Anonymous:

"At least I'm adding religion to their lives."

What is this supposed to mean? Obviously he doesn't want religion in their lives. There's the issue.

Ps- Humans can be raised without religion in their lives.




Melissa_4
by Ruby Member on Oct. 19, 2013 at 10:12 AM

Your DH knew what your religion was before he married you.  If he can't respect it, there's a problem.  Why is he all of a sudden a Jesus freak?  I'd be more concerned with who has his ear.

TheSilence
by Tá mé an mó on Oct. 19, 2013 at 10:16 AM
That's his daughter not yours. You need to respect his wishes.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 19, 2013 at 10:17 AM

He is the CP in DSD's life and her BM has no rights to her, so it would be DH teaching her, if one of them had to do it.
And I am her mom. Ask her, she'll tell you. We love each other very much.
I have no problem with them learning other religions. They go to church about once a month with my SIL.
Hell, we live in the Bible belt. There is no way they are not going to learn of other religions here!
And the problem with them having no religion, is that I am religious. I have my religious things, books, statues, etc, all over the house.
I am not going to hide my religion for the entire time my kids are at home, just to appease someone ignorant SOB, even if he happens to be my husband.

Quoting Anonymous:

It isn't your job to teach his daughter about religion. It's up to him and his ex. Also, why can't they learn other religions? Or like him, no religion?


InloveNBlessed
by on Oct. 19, 2013 at 10:18 AM
I'm Catholic and my DH is a Southern Baptist. His ex is a non denominational Christian.

Do my SKs know I'm Catholic? Yes. Will I answer any questions they have about Catholicism? Yes. But, I don't preach my religion on them. I don't say our household religion is Catholic. SKs were raised with DH's and BM's beliefs, as they are THEIR children. DS and future children we have will be raised with mine and DH's beliefs. The last time SKs were even at a Catholic event was their brother's christening and before that, our wedding.

You are overstepping your lines. You're not her mother and if I was her BM, I'd tell you to back the hell off.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 7 on Oct. 19, 2013 at 10:19 AM
Wicca is a recognized religion, look it up

Quoting AmaliaD:

Not your kid really.... Not a recognized religion.... He has a point.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 19, 2013 at 10:19 AM

Right?
If I had known he had such a problem with it, I would not have married him.
When my XH and I decided to have kids, we talked about religion and that we would raise our kids with Wiccan morals and beliefs.

Quoting Anonymous:

well if he had a fucking problem with it, HE shoulda said something LONG ago....


Quoting Anonymous:

It isn't your job to teach his daughter about religion. It's up to him and his ex. Also, why can't they learn other religions? Or like him, no religion?




Anonymous
by Anonymous 8 on Oct. 19, 2013 at 10:20 AM

i think his intentions are coming off a judgmental but since he's not religious so maybe he wanted the kids to be old enough to decide what they wanted. since wiccan isnt really the norm maybe he'dbe worried that you're forcing it on them.  dont agree with his method of telling them though. 

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