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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

How DARE He Tell My Daughter Religion **Update**

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

So, last night, DSD7 (I've been with her dad for three years, married for one and a half) was asking about religion.
She asked what religion we were. I told her we're Wiccan.
DH has never had a problem with my religion. I even taught the kids a Wiccan bedtime prayer. No problem. Took DSD and DS4 to a Mabon celebration earlier this year. No problem.
DH, last night, decided that, no, I cuold not tell her we were Wiccan.
WTH?! Really?
He's not religious. At all. I am.
I wrote and performed my DS's Wiccaning (think of a Christening) the day we were released from the hospital after his birth.

Okay, here's where I got really pissed.
DSD and I said her prayers and went to bed. DH starts in on me, saying that I need to stop throwing my religion down the kids' throats.
Excuse me? At least I'm adding religion to their lives! And why do I need to stop when every parent that is religous teaches their religion to their kids?
I'm not telling my kids that my belief is the only one, or even the only right one. I will let them make that decision for themselves when they are older. But for now, I am teaching them what I believe.
Then, after we had stopped atalking about it, he starts looking up all these Jesus freak videos and playing them, loudly, while I'm trying to watch TV.
I paused my show, listened to a good five minutes of one of the videos, then turned my show back on.
He asked what my problem was.
Well, first, dear, I was watching my show before you started this crap.
Second, why do I have to have Jesus thrown down my throat by a man who knows less about the damn religion than I do? And in my own home nonetheless!!

Seriously, I do not miss my XH, the bio father to my two bio kids.
But last night, I was longing for him, because he shares my religious views and would NEVER have done what DH did.

GRRR!
Thanks for reading. Rant over!


Update- 10/23/13
Okay, so I texted DH the day I wrote this post and told him that we needed to talk when the kids went to bed.
I asked him very calm;y, what his attitude was about the night before. Was he really having a religious awakening, or what?
He told me that, no. He wasn't becoming Christian, he was just drunk and being an asshole. That he doesn't care what I tell the kids about religion, whether it be MY religion, or the family religion.

Thank you to all the women who had something positive to say on this stream. I really appreciate the good advice. It really helped calm my anger and disbelief and made me able to have an adult, level-headed conversation with my husband.

Oh, and we're still doing the Wiccan bedtime prayer. The kids, DSD included, ask for it.
It's areally good way to help transition from the day into bedtime.
And last night, DH helped me do the prayer with DSD.

Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 19, 2013 at 9:30 AM
Replies (31-40):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 9 on Oct. 19, 2013 at 10:21 AM

Sounds to me as if your DH has been listening to friends and others who have prejudices against the Craft.  After all, the Bible says not to allow a witch to live.  (Yes!  Yes!  Murder them all!!!)  

My immediate family are of the Old Religion.  We teach our young ones our ways as any older ones of a family would.  Yet, we have been censored for that too.  So unfair.  Don't all people have the right to freedom of religion?  

According to some, that depends on whether you are of a mainstream religion, or not.  

Do as you will, my sister, it harms none.  Especially enjoy this time of year!  )0(  Blessed be!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 7 on Oct. 19, 2013 at 10:21 AM
1 mom liked this
Wicca/paganism is a recognized religion protected under us law.

Quoting parentalrights1:

Just because its not a recognized religion doesn't mean it isn't. A religion.



With difference does t make if its "recognized"



It's probably not recognized because of asshole Christians thinking only religions closest to their own are legit




Quoting AmaliaD:

Not your kid really.... Not a recognized religion.... He has a point.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 10 on Oct. 19, 2013 at 10:22 AM
1 mom liked this
omg... my dh is like this... im baptist christian, but i am very open minded and find religions of all types fascinating. Dh is strict catholic... he actually tried to tell me what i can or can not tell my own children about religion or the history of it (all started when we were discussing the proof of Jesus birthday not being christmas and the pagan holiday taken over by Christianity, I even backed up my argument on it with facts. this is when he told me to shut my fat mouth and to clear what i have to say about religion with him before i ever mention it to our children)! I was floored but calmly told him fine that he was not allowed to teach the children his beliefs and views because i didnt want them to grow up closed minded like him. Stopped that argument dead in its tracks. We have since sat down and talked this out and decided it was best to teach our children the catholic ways, and my views and history as long as it is factual information.

Edit: I find all religions fascinating including Wicca/pagan. All have great lessons and interesting historic backgrounds.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 11 on Oct. 19, 2013 at 10:23 AM
1 mom liked this

I would teach her about religious prejudices and let her know that daddy is now prejudiced against your religion so you can't pray with her at night anymore. He can own what he's doing if this is how he wants to be.

IhartU
by Gold Member on Oct. 19, 2013 at 10:24 AM


Children shouldn't BE indoctrinated, that way there is no problem regarding wich belief to raise them in. Let them decide on their own when they're adult enough to understand, educate themselves and follow their OWN heart.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Oct. 19, 2013 at 10:24 AM

No.
I will not stop doing something that I have been doing for more than three years.
He had no problem with it until last night, never said anything against it.
and she IS my daughter.
I don't care if I didn't carry her.
I potty trained her, kissed her boo-boos, dealt with her temper, played with her, gotten her ready for every school day of her life, made her birthdays and holidays (left to DH, she would have cake and ice cream, no presents, no friends or family, for her birthday and just one present for 'big' holidays, also no family then, too).
I have been there for every big and small moment in her life since she was three.
Her BM has not been around.
Who, in your opinion, is her mom?

Quoting Anonymous:

It's his daughter, not yours. If he doesn't want you teaching religion to her then stop.


Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Oct. 19, 2013 at 10:26 AM

Because there is no reason for him to change his mind!
My religion is extremely positive, no harm, and teaches people to love themselves as well as others and the planet we live on and all her life, among other great stuff.

Quoting Anonymous:

Why is he not allowed to change his mind? It's his kid, not hers.


Quoting Anonymous:

well if he had a fucking problem with it, HE shoulda said something LONG ago....



Quoting Anonymous:

It isn't your job to teach his daughter about religion. It's up to him and his ex. Also, why can't they learn other religions? Or like him, no religion?






Anonymous
by Anonymous 12 on Oct. 19, 2013 at 10:29 AM
This!

While I wouldn't mind my child having a wiccan SM, I would flip if it was seriously being taught to my child, and she was told that it was her religion.

I'm happy for mine to learn about other religions, however participating is a totally different matter.

I personally think that the op's DH was trying to make a point, one that I agree with too, that some wiccans and pagans push their religion on others as much as hardcore christians who shove it down your throat.


Quoting Anonymous:

She's not your daughter. She's his daughter and if he has decided he doesn't want her learning about your religion anymore he has the right to do that.



Part of being a step mom is understanding your boundaries. This is not one of those decisions you have the right to make. I've been a step mom to my SS for over 9 years and I would NEVER tell him he had to be atheist or teach him what it means without permission from dh. But then... My own stance regarding religion is to allow dd to make her own choices.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Oct. 19, 2013 at 10:31 AM
1 mom liked this
Well maybe if you guys had handled the situation like two adults rather than a couple of children you'd understand his reasoning.

Instead you're making assumptions and bashing him on cm while he's probably doing something just as immature.

He has just as much say (if not more) in what he wants his daughter to learn. Both of you need to grow up and discuss this like adults.


Quoting Anonymous:

Because there is no reason for him to change his mind!
My religion is extremely positive, no harm, and teaches people to love themselves as well as others and the planet we live on and all her life, among other great stuff.

Quoting Anonymous:

Why is he not allowed to change his mind? It's his kid, not hers.





Quoting Anonymous:

well if he had a fucking problem with it, HE shoulda said something LONG ago....




Quoting Anonymous:

It isn't your job to teach his daughter about religion. It's up to him and his ex. Also, why can't they learn other religions? Or like him, no religion?









luvmykidsJC
by on Oct. 19, 2013 at 10:32 AM

She is not your DD, she is HIS DD so yes, he (and her mom if she is around) get final say. Also, if you are married, it is not just your home it is his too

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