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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

How DARE He Tell My Daughter Religion **Update**

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

So, last night, DSD7 (I've been with her dad for three years, married for one and a half) was asking about religion.
She asked what religion we were. I told her we're Wiccan.
DH has never had a problem with my religion. I even taught the kids a Wiccan bedtime prayer. No problem. Took DSD and DS4 to a Mabon celebration earlier this year. No problem.
DH, last night, decided that, no, I cuold not tell her we were Wiccan.
WTH?! Really?
He's not religious. At all. I am.
I wrote and performed my DS's Wiccaning (think of a Christening) the day we were released from the hospital after his birth.

Okay, here's where I got really pissed.
DSD and I said her prayers and went to bed. DH starts in on me, saying that I need to stop throwing my religion down the kids' throats.
Excuse me? At least I'm adding religion to their lives! And why do I need to stop when every parent that is religous teaches their religion to their kids?
I'm not telling my kids that my belief is the only one, or even the only right one. I will let them make that decision for themselves when they are older. But for now, I am teaching them what I believe.
Then, after we had stopped atalking about it, he starts looking up all these Jesus freak videos and playing them, loudly, while I'm trying to watch TV.
I paused my show, listened to a good five minutes of one of the videos, then turned my show back on.
He asked what my problem was.
Well, first, dear, I was watching my show before you started this crap.
Second, why do I have to have Jesus thrown down my throat by a man who knows less about the damn religion than I do? And in my own home nonetheless!!

Seriously, I do not miss my XH, the bio father to my two bio kids.
But last night, I was longing for him, because he shares my religious views and would NEVER have done what DH did.

GRRR!
Thanks for reading. Rant over!


Update- 10/23/13
Okay, so I texted DH the day I wrote this post and told him that we needed to talk when the kids went to bed.
I asked him very calm;y, what his attitude was about the night before. Was he really having a religious awakening, or what?
He told me that, no. He wasn't becoming Christian, he was just drunk and being an asshole. That he doesn't care what I tell the kids about religion, whether it be MY religion, or the family religion.

Thank you to all the women who had something positive to say on this stream. I really appreciate the good advice. It really helped calm my anger and disbelief and made me able to have an adult, level-headed conversation with my husband.

Oh, and we're still doing the Wiccan bedtime prayer. The kids, DSD included, ask for it.
It's areally good way to help transition from the day into bedtime.
And last night, DH helped me do the prayer with DSD.

Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 19, 2013 at 9:30 AM
Replies (41-50):
purple_panda
by Platinum Member on Oct. 19, 2013 at 10:32 AM
Oops, didn't mean to post anonymously... I'm the one who is the step mom of 9 years.


Quoting Anonymous:

This!



While I wouldn't mind my child having a wiccan SM, I would flip if it was seriously being taught to my child, and she was told that it was her religion.



I'm happy for mine to learn about other religions, however participating is a totally different matter.



I personally think that the op's DH was trying to make a point, one that I agree with too, that some wiccans and pagans push their religion on others as much as hardcore christians who shove it down your throat.




Quoting Anonymous:

She's not your daughter. She's his daughter and if he has decided he doesn't want her learning about your religion anymore he has the right to do that.





Part of being a step mom is understanding your boundaries. This is not one of those decisions you have the right to make. I've been a step mom to my SS for over 9 years and I would NEVER tell him he had to be atheist or teach him what it means without permission from dh. But then... My own stance regarding religion is to allow dd to make her own choices.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 19, 2013 at 10:32 AM
1 mom liked this

Thank you. I will take your advice.
I appreciate your honesty and input.
I'll let you know what he says after we have our talk.
love you sign

Quoting TurtleMomma82:

Sound like something else is bugging him and he's lashing out at you this way.  Give him some time and ask him if he's ready to talk to you like a grown up


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 19, 2013 at 10:33 AM

Thank you.
I couldn't agree more.

Quoting Anonymous:

changing his mind rationally and discussing it is one thing...what he did is boorish and assholeish, and degrading to his wife


Quoting Anonymous:

Why is he not allowed to change his mind? It's his kid, not hers.


Quoting Anonymous:

well if he had a fucking problem with it, HE shoulda said something LONG ago....



Quoting Anonymous:

It isn't your job to teach his daughter about religion. It's up to him and his ex. Also, why can't they learn other religions? Or like him, no religion?








luvmykidsJC
by on Oct. 19, 2013 at 10:34 AM

When it comes to the kids they have together, if any, sure but when it comes to his child, he can change his mind at any time, he is her parent.



Quoting Anonymous:

well if he had a fucking problem with it, HE shoulda said something LONG ago....


Quoting Anonymous:

It isn't your job to teach his daughter about religion. It's up to him and his ex. Also, why can't they learn other religions? Or like him, no religion?





Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 19, 2013 at 10:35 AM

I don't care about biology- she IS my child.
And my religion IS nationally recognised, so where you get this information is beyond me.
What, exactly, do you think his point is?

Quoting AmaliaD:

Not your kid really.... Not a recognized religion.... He has a point.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 19, 2013 at 10:35 AM

Exactly.

Quoting msjaxon:

It means at least she is doing something. If you don't have a religion or believe in God you can teach that

Quoting Anonymous:

"At least I'm adding religion to their lives."



What is this supposed to mean? Obviously he doesn't want religion in their lives. There's the issue.



Ps- Humans can be raised without religion in their lives.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 13 on Oct. 19, 2013 at 10:35 AM
1 mom liked this
Maybe the problem was you didnt say "I'm wiccan".. you said "we're wiccan" when in fact all of you are not. And since you said you're trying to bring religion into the house he acted like a childish brat and played jesus shit to "bring in some religion". Some times you have to respect the nonreligious too.
thenameshailie
by Ruby Member on Oct. 19, 2013 at 10:36 AM

This is exactly why I wouldnt marry someone who had different beliefs than me. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 14 on Oct. 19, 2013 at 10:36 AM
Why did you guys get married then if he doesn't agree with your beliefs? That's a huge deal that can make or break a marriage.
sfigu16
by Platinum Member on Oct. 19, 2013 at 10:37 AM

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