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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

so torn

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 9 Replies
I have a friend, known him for over 10 years, he had been there for me through everything, gave me a shoulder to cry on through my divorce a couple of years back.

he's military, married, father of two. here's the problem, his wife beats him, all the time. not just when she feels he's done something to warrant it, but even if she is mad about something completely unrelated to him.

she kicks him out, and as soon as he leaves, she's texting and calling him, saying she needs to go to the e.r. for " chest pains" or some other easily made up ailment.

I've offered him a room at my house, but with military rules how they are, his command said he couldn't live with a single woman, not even as a roommate, unless his divorce is final.

he came back to my house last night, this makes the third time. he said he's just going to stay here until his command finds out, then maybe they will take him serious about him trying to stay away from his abuser, and help him out of his situation.

I hate seeing him like this, he's always been the strong one in our friendship, seeing him so defeated is heartbreaking. I just don't want to be the cause for him running his career, because I'm "single"
Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 20, 2013 at 7:54 AM
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Replies (1-9):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Oct. 20, 2013 at 7:57 AM

wow. good luck to your friend...

justpeachy71904
by peachy on Oct. 20, 2013 at 7:59 AM
And why hasn't be filed for divorce?

I'm sorry sometimes I have a. Hard time feeling sympathy for people that continue to go back to absuera over and over again.
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Oct. 20, 2013 at 8:00 AM
can't file for divorce until you've been separated fir a year, can't be separated if you have no place to go.


Quoting justpeachy71904:

And why hasn't be filed for divorce?



I'm sorry sometimes I have a. Hard time feeling sympathy for people that continue to go back to absuera over and over again.

justpeachy71904
by peachy on Oct. 20, 2013 at 8:03 AM
He is in the military. He lives on base? So he doesn't pay for housing? why can't he pay for an apt?

Quoting Anonymous:

can't file for divorce until you've been separated fir a year, can't be separated if you have no place to go.




Quoting justpeachy71904:

And why hasn't be filed for divorce?





I'm sorry sometimes I have a. Hard time feeling sympathy for people that continue to go back to absuera over and over again.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Oct. 20, 2013 at 8:05 AM
he does not live on base. before he came back from his last deployment she found the most expensive house that they could afford ( using that term loosely as they're now house poor). so he has no extra funds,as he doesn't want to stop paying the bills for his children's home.


Quoting justpeachy71904:

He is in the military. He lives on base? So he doesn't pay for housing? why can't he pay for an apt?



Quoting Anonymous:

can't file for divorce until you've been separated fir a year, can't be separated if you have no place to go.






Quoting justpeachy71904:

And why hasn't be filed for divorce?







I'm sorry sometimes I have a. Hard time feeling sympathy for people that continue to go back to absuera over and over again.


XnikoX
by Gold Member on Oct. 20, 2013 at 8:06 AM
Since when? Who told you this?

Quoting Anonymous:

can't file for divorce until you've been separated fir a year, can't be separated if you have no place to go.




Quoting justpeachy71904:

And why hasn't be filed for divorce?





I'm sorry sometimes I have a. Hard time feeling sympathy for people that continue to go back to absuera over and over again.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Oct. 20, 2013 at 8:07 AM
that's the law in this state. they are residents of this state.


Quoting XnikoX:

Since when? Who told you this?



Quoting Anonymous:

can't file for divorce until you've been separated fir a year, can't be separated if you have no place to go.






Quoting justpeachy71904:

And why hasn't be filed for divorce?







I'm sorry sometimes I have a. Hard time feeling sympathy for people that continue to go back to absuera over and over again.


justpeachy71904
by peachy on Oct. 20, 2013 at 8:11 AM
You know, all I can say is if he wants out he will get out. If he wants to stay he will make up every excuse as he obviously has.

If she is beating him he should inform authorities. If he isn't that is his fault. I dont know what else to say. He is allowing this in front of his children yet he is worried about being house poor for his kids sake.

I'm sorry.


Quoting Anonymous:

he does not live on base. before he came back from his last deployment she found the most expensive house that they could afford ( using that term loosely as they're now house poor). so he has no extra funds,as he doesn't want to stop paying the bills for his children's home.




Quoting justpeachy71904:

He is in the military. He lives on base? So he doesn't pay for housing? why can't he pay for an apt?





Quoting Anonymous:

can't file for divorce until you've been separated fir a year, can't be separated if you have no place to go.








Quoting justpeachy71904:

And why hasn't be filed for divorce?









I'm sorry sometimes I have a. Hard time feeling sympathy for people that continue to go back to absuera over and over again.


LHummel
by on Oct. 20, 2013 at 8:14 AM

This is an issue he needs to take to legal on base. When my husband seperated from his ex-wife to await the time to file for divorce he lived with a female room mate. He is military and he was in a state where they had to be seperated for a year. I just find it hard to believe that if she is abusing him he can't get an exception. Also if she is doing this he needs to call CPS and make sure that he gets full custody of his children. All they are learning from their mother is abuse is acceptable. As well as if he doesn't leave her it will just enforce the abuse as being ok in his kids minds. 

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